for bigapplesauce

[rougeofvoid]

mun
you SUCK
just write my intro post and sample already
the hard part is over and my app is p baller ngl
but not jack i can do if u wont put me in the game coach
sports metaphor sports metaphor etc
you think its intimidatin to write me sober??
its intimidatin to BE me sober
esp w this hangover

and u kno how this canon works i could be danglin on the edge of goin godtier for MONTHS
only for some brand spankin new troll psychout bs
just get it over with
nepeta an me have like 255 cats to adopt
jk jk

ps memorize the codes to make my text
shits a disgrace how u gotta look it up EVERY time

Comments

[theoldgirl]

You are certainly easier to understand sober.

Why are you so eager to join the game?

[rougeofvoid]

it turns out a lot of stuff is easier to understand sober
other stuff not so much

ic what ur gettin at
but things arent great for me at the moment in canon
i am potentially about to die??
for like a rly god reason
*good
but still
and i could really accomplish things in the game
w my mindbogglingly adequate haxx

[theoldgirl]

Such as?

Oh, I am sorry to hear you may be about to die. I hope that can be avoided, or that those reasons do indeed justify your loss.

I suppose I can understand preferring to join the game if it will afford you a more agreeable purpose than your current circumstances.

[rougeofvoid]

just stuff
probs not alien ship stuff

dont worry about it
death is rly kinda nbd
theres a maths percent chance id end up w like
superpowers
its complicated

i just like solvin problelms okay
but i dont want to be w/o my friends
but they kind of just ignore me anyways??
and this session is kind of maybe hopeless
like literally our hope dude might end up in the grip of an evil douchey brat
so in conlusion id e K if i ma bein afforded a more aggreable purpose or w/e
but it seems possible

[theoldgirl]

That is certainly possible. But if I can be of assistance, I would be happy to.

There is a "maths percent chance" I have encountered far stranger things than whatever you are currently experiencing. Metamorphosis is not a very unusual process, even involving a state closely resembling death. But I can see why it would be worrisome if the outcome is not certain.

I am sorry they are still ignoring you. I know the feeling quite well. Did you try being uncooperative, as I suggested?

[rougeofvoid]

yeah sorry
im not tryin to make out like you dont know my life
or like
the universe and stuff
bc im sure you actually do
its just shitty social bs that doesnt actually matter
but it kinds does? not like this game things gonna hapen w/o like an econo sized jar of friendship mayo holdin things together
so far we have been kinda lame at bein mayo
were not even vegan miracle whip
were tearing this teamwork sandwich apart

no i didnt rly get around to it
shits been mad busy
its still really good advice tho
def gonna try bein uncooperative in the future
j got sidetracked by sugarcrazed drunken lunatic powerup shenanigans

[theoldgirl]

Ah, human social matters does happen to be an area I can be of little help with, as I do not understand most of it myself. What I gather from your extensive metaphor is that you and your friends are having trouble working together as a team? Usually sharing a common goal or facing a common enemy seems to encourage teamwork among humans, but that is really all I know in that regard from observation.

... "sugarcrazed drunken lunatic powerup shenanigans"? That is admittedly not something I have encountered before, I believe.

[rougeofvoid]

youd think bein human would make that kinda biz more understandable
hella nope
i got nothin

baaaaaasically
my bff jane alchemized a coupla hellacious jujus
from my adorbz british alien friend and her douchetastrophic non-bro respectively
which then became some very large and very majykkal candy
by like the miracle of magnetism or some crap idk
shit really just went downhill from there
errbody just went balls to the walls CRAY
we all got like quadruple engaged
poor dear sweet precious fefeta got exploded
FUCK
yeah i p much made the biggest ass of myself imaginable
i kissed dirk
basically just dont accept candy from aliens
is a rule of thumb i am adoptin
startin now
or you will get kinda possessed by like
cheerfulness and mormonism
only worse

[theoldgirl]

That is indeed surprising. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that you are a non-telepathic species; a telepathic connection renders social posing and social contracts virtually obsolete and makes understanding one another a lot easier.

I am sorry you went through all this... whatever this is. Are you recovering from it now?

[rougeofvoid]

wow dang u could be like an infomercial
for telepathic social whatevs
sign me up the hell right now
i have my fourteen payments of only 19.95 all lined up
checks payable to uh
tardis i guess

yeah im cool now
no longer whatever the polar opposite of grimdark is
giddybright??
this headache is effin outrageous tho omfg

[theoldgirl]

Oh, well, true psychic abilities are not something you can purchase or simply be fitted with, though races in some timezones have developed technology to more or less adequately mimic them. Some humans also tend to be slightly more psychically sensitive than others, but that is a long way from true telepathy. Your brains are simply not structured correctly for it.

Is there any medicine available to treat it?

[rougeofvoid]

see thats what i keep tryin tell janey
that batterwitch tiaratop is heck of bad news
like ratchet sea-hitler is gonna be supes concerned w the brain health of her subjects
but does she listen to her bbfsie
of course not
nobody listens to rolal
its like cassandra and nickelback had a baby
and that baby is me

u r on fire w these good ideas
you should set up a lil cardboard stand or smth

[theoldgirl]

It is very difficult to be the only one to see disaster approaching, I sympathize. At least you are able to try and affect events in some way to avert it.

I... am not sure what purpose that would serve?

[rougeofvoid]

true dat
buuuuuuuuuut
so can you rite??
at least some of the times
affecting events i mean

u could give out advice and help people
w a lil sign to flip over
a nickel a pop
ngl that would be dope as heck

[theoldgirl]

No. Well, I have tried before, out of desperation, but each time my actions set off other terrible consequences later on. No, I cannot affect events I see in the Web of Time. It is not natural to my kind.

I am not in the habit of concerning myself with the problems of strangers. That is rather my pilot's domain. I do enjoy helping people I consider friends, but I hardly need a little sign to flip over for that.

[rougeofvoid]

im sorry bb
that sounds awful
but you cant blame yourself for trying

thanks for bein my friend then
shits gettin mad golden girls up ins
the sign would just be so cute tho im js

[theoldgirl]

I knew it went against my nature and every cosmic law to try. I knew Time has a way of balancing out unlawful interference. But what is done is done. I can only hope I will not be faced with another such situation ever again.

I shall take your word for that, since cuteness is not a concept I really understand either. And you are welcome. I only wonder why I continue to befriend humans who are particularly insistent on obscuring the meaning behind their words.

[rougeofvoid]

i hope not too
but whatevs happened i know you werent reckless and did ur best
everything happens so much

what other humans
and what do u mean by obscuring the meaning
like metaphorical bullshit and popculture refs??
bc thats just how roro l-money roll

hey weird question
ur not any kind of cat are you

[theoldgirl]

Indeed.

I know it is simply your idiosyncratic way of communicating. Ianto, another human I care about, very frequently employs sarcasm, even though he knows how difficult it is for me to understand when I am not accessing his mind. I can ignore your cultural references and complex metaphors and still gather most of your meaning, but it is often not clear to me when he is being facetious. But we manage.

I am definitely not any kind of feline, no. Why do you ask?