Earday Unmay! (Canon is Rayman Origins)

[eensietay_agicianmay]

Hey, hey! Mundane! What’s the plan? I’m dying for some action! New sights, new scenes, and maybe a few new uckersay to amscay, hehe! Anything’s better than that boring ol’ Glade.. 

Hm? What’s that? “Hard to get a handle on?” Well, what do you expect! I’m waaay mysterious!
What do you mean I talk too fast? Maybe you just think too slow! It’s otnay my aultfay dat ouyay an’tcay igurefay itway outway! Istenlay oselyclay, play it againway! I can wait! But not too long. I’m a very busy wizard!

Comments

[roadblasted]

... Dude, ya talk like a total nutlog. I can hardly understand a friggin' word yer sayin'! Could ya try, yaknow, NOT flappin' yer yap like a total freakbutt?

[eensietay_agicianmay]

I don't see what's so difficult about it! Here: I S. T H I S. E A S I E R? Honestly! Has nobody eardhay of Ig Latinpay?

[roadblasted]

Uhh... no. And that's a lil' better, I guess.
So who the heck are you?

[eensietay_agicianmay]

Well, I'll try to keep things simple for you.. Just call me the Magician!

[roadblasted]

'Ey! I'm not stupid, alright? I just never heard'a yer... Iglapay or whatever.
Magician, huh? What kinda magic do ya know?

[eensietay_agicianmay]

Pig Latin. It's like.. a secret code language!
Oh, all kinds of stuff! Controlling the weather, flying, you know.

[roadblasted]

Flyin', eh? Heheh, well my kart might not have wings but I'm STILL the fastest--

... Wait, code?
Y-Ya know about code?

[eensietay_agicianmay]

[squints]
Wait, what kinda code are YOU talking about?

[roadblasted]

Code! Like OUR code! Like...
... Wait, are ya even a game character?

[eensietay_agicianmay]

...A game? Like a card game?

Eh.. What are you talking about?

[roadblasted]

No, like a VIDEO GAME, ya freakin' half-wit!

[eensietay_agicianmay]

I'm not a half-wit! I've just never heard of that!

[roadblasted]

... So yer not one.

Then what kinda "code" were ya on about?

[eensietay_agicianmay]

Pig. Latin. It's a language for the magical peoples of the Glade of Dreams. Which it seems you're not from..

[Which makes you very, very interesting, that's for sure.]

[roadblasted]

[Definitely nothing to do with the type of "code" he was thinking of then.]

Nah, I'm from Turbo Time, which is a video game. The BEST video game ever made, and I'm its hero! Turbo, the GREATEST RACER EVER!

[eensietay_agicianmay]

["Video game" isn't making a lick of sense to him, but he's trying to roll with it.]

A hero,huh? What sorts of heroic acts do you do? Rescue villages? Save the world? Or.. race the bad guys, it sounds like?

[roadblasted]

[He folds his arms, shrugging a little.]

Just my brothers, actually. Yeah they're ultra blockhead lamebrains, but not really bad guys.

[Turbo Time bases itself more on literal sibling rivalry than any kind of good guys vs. bad guys conflict. Might explain why neither Turbo or the Twins are exactly pictures of righteousness.]

[eensietay_agicianmay]

But if you haven't vanquished evil, are you really a hero? I suppose beating a bunch of dumb losers counts, depending on your definition!

[roadblasted]

DUH I am! I'm the main character! What else would I be?
I'm everyone's favorite number-one all-time racin' hero!

[eensietay_agicianmay]

Okay, okay! Didn't mean anything by it. I'm just a little.. curious, y'know?
You sound pretty popular!

[roadblasted]

Eh, don't sweat it. Just know who yer talkin' to, 'cause ya bet yer extra lives I am! The fastest, greatest, most POPULAR racer EVER PROGRAMMED! One-hundred percent timeless and TURBO-TASTIC! Not like those goshdang overrated shiny fancy-pants graphics--
Look, I'm super awesome and radical, so ya better remember that!

[eensietay_agicianmay]

Oh ustray me, I don't think I COULD forget!

[Honestly, Turbo IS very exciting. Whether or not he's as cool as he claims, the boasting is entertaining.]

[roadblasted]

[The racer chuckles smugly. If you actually ENJOY his bragging, Ales, you two will probably get along like peaches and cream.]

Ya better always have it glued'ta front'a yer brain, got it? "Turbo is the BEST", memorized permanently!

[eensietay_agicianmay]

Yeah, yeah, I hear ya..

[Maybe not the best (especially because Turbo hasn't actually DONE anything yet), but he's interesting!]

[roadblasted]

[Still proudly smirking, Turbo gives Ales a pat on the back, and although it's "friendly" it's a slap that might have been little too hard.]

Yer alright, card-trick. A'least better than most'a the losers I know. Too bad yer not a game character, Litwak's could use more guys like you.

[Though "guys like you" really means more "people who feed his ego."]

[eensietay_agicianmay]

[Ales hat goes a bit askew at the jostle, and he quickly straightens it.]

Heheh, you're not too bad, yourself!

[A slight eyebrow raise at that.] And what could this Litwax fella use me for?

[roadblasted]

Rakin' in quarters, what else? He's the mac that owns the arcade. Gamers fork over the cash'ta play our games and we do what we do best for 'em.
Oh, and my game? Brought in the more dough than ANYONE!

[Or at least it did until RoadBlasters came along. But Ales doesn't need to know that.]

[eensietay_agicianmay]

[Something flickers in Ales' beady little eyes. He grins and straightens his robe a bit.]

If it's about making a profit, I think I'm exactly the kind of person he's after!