testing, testing.

[wetsuited]

What? You think you can just-- Just sit around at your computer and make me do stuff? Like I'm some kinda puppet? This is my life we're talking about! And I gave up all that superhero stuff, you can't just throw me into some weird place and expect me to forget that.

I won't do it.

--I mean, c'mon! You've got superheroes in your head, make them do crazy shit! Just because I can't feel pain doesn't mean I should get my ass beat into the ground every five seconds. And that's all I get when I'm walking around as Kick-Ass. It's cool in the movies and comics and stuff, but this is real life, my life, and-

And you're not even listening to me!

[cue the frustrated sigh of a kid that's trying not to have a nervous breakdown. this is so messed up!!!!!11]

Comments

[cuss]

Christ, you want some cheese with that whine, Lizewski?

1/2

[wetsuited]

[wetsuited]

[Something like 'excuse you!!' almost blurts out of his mouth, but-]


Hey.

How'd you know my name?

[cuss]

[ . . . ]

Did you fall on your head again? Why're you asking stupid questions?

[wetsuited]

That was one time! [:||] And that wasn't-- That was...


Who are you?

[cuss]

Uh, Earth to Lizewski? [ she waves a hand in front of his face. ] It's Mindy, dumbass.

[wetsuited]

[whoawhoawhoa with the hands in the face and the-]

I'm not a dumbass! And you can't be Mindy, Mindy's eleven. Twelve, maybe. And you're- [A really hot teenager. Wait. Did he just think that? He can't think that! Not about Mindy. If this is really Mindy he's talking to. ohgod.]

This is so fucked up!

[cuss]

[ that must have been some fall... ]

Look, maybe you should lie down before you break any more of your brain.

[wetsuited]

What? No! No. I don't need to lie down. [... But he's going to sit. Because he wants to.]

How are we the same age? And how do I know you're really Mindy?

[cuss]

[ (eyeroll) ]

Why the fuck would I lie? Go on, then. [ she folds her arms under her chest. hit her with your best shot! ] Ask me anything only the real Mindy would know.

[wetsuited]

Uh. [...]

Okay! Yeah, I got one. Where were we when you told me what your real name is?

latest ever?

[raids]

Kick-Ass. ( really. )

never late!!!1

[wetsuited]

[...............holyshit.]



W-Well, yeah.

TIME HAS NO MEANING HERE

[raids]

To the point. I suppose you could do worse.

[wetsuited]

Hey, Kick-Ass is a great name! [His voice almost cracks, dear god. He gets squeaky when he's nervous.] It leaves no question what kind of hero I am.

..was.

[raids]

Really? From the sounds of it you were more accustomed to having your ass kicked.