Voicetesting

[tongue_lashing]

You, Mundane. You have the power to take me to my Lord. He is here, somewhere, and I must return to his side.

Take me to him. I have remained loyal all these years.... I have waited for so long for his return. Do not deny me this. Do not deny me my rightful place beside him.

Take me to my Lord, so I may serve him once more.

Comments

[potionmaster]

I'm sure you will prove your utter loyalty, Barty, when he asks you to live amongst the Muggles as his spy. I'm sure you'll be more than happy with the assignment.

[Fiddles with more fire]

[tongue_lashing]

I would. I would suffer any indignity, any torture, commit any crime...I return to Azkaban for him, should he ask. I would do anything for him, anything to prove my loyalty, my devotion.

[Have an eery, dreamy sort of grin, Snape.]

I am his to use, however he sees fit to use me.

[potionmaster]

[That's not uber creepy at all, Barty. The crazy is oozing out of your pores now.]

And if he told you to submit to my will? Would you still obey?

[tongue_lashing]

[Yeah, practically no amount of meds or therapy could ever make him right in the head again. He's that far gone.]

If my Lord asked it of me...

[This is such an unfair question.]

[potionmaster]

[Snape is nothing if not unfair. If he gets bored one day, he may poke into Barty's crazy mind and try and make him believe he's been given that specific order.]

Perhaps I was wrong about you, Barty. You will certainly make the Dark Lord proud.

[He taps his chin for a moment, wondering what to poke next.]

Though I must admit, Bellatrix is probably his most loyal and devoted servant, next to me of course. I'm sure he'll throw you a bone now and then.

[tongue_lashing]

[Given Barty has very little will-power, that probably won't be very hard to do.]

[At hearing Snape say he'll make his Lord proud, his face lights up in a childish sort of glee that's both creepy and really kind of pathetic. However, that smile vanishes at the words that follow.]

[How a Death Eater can manage to look like a kicked rabid puppy is beyond this mundane's comprehension, but Barty somehow manages it. For about three seconds. Then he gets pissed off again.]

Stop it. Stop declaring a loyalty you do not have! Stop claiming devotion when you scarcely know what the word means.

[Yep. There's spittle flying now.]

Would you suffer for him, Snape? Would you suffer for him as I have? Would you lay down you're life for him, as I would? Would you give yourself to him completely, to use and break and discard as he pleases?

[potionmaster]

[Snape might feeling a smidgen of guilt for messing with the crazy man, but he knows what Barty is capable of doing.]

The Dark Lord would never be that cruel to me. He would never break or discard me. My Master values me too much to do such things.

[tongue_lashing]

[Barty's entire life is pretty much just one long PSA about what happens if you don't hug your kids.]


That isn't the point. Would you be willing to, would you gladly accept--as I would--any fate he saw fit to bestow upon you? Do think it an honor--a privilege--to sacrifice everything for him?

[potionmaster]

[Snape can't help himself, he really can't. Snape can join that PSA right along with him.]

Did you know, Barty, that the man you would willingly die for, to sacrifice everything for, is a Half-Blood? That his father was a Muggle?

[tongue_lashing]

[There's that insane grin again.]

Yes, I do. He told me so himself.

[His smile widens at this and his eyes go a little distant, as if he's reliving a particularly fond memory.]

He trusted me enough to tell me, to share part of himself with me in the strictest of confidence.

[If Snape didn't know Barty doesn't really care about blood-purity before, he certainly does now.]

[potionmaster]

[Yes, he is surprised to say the least, he thought he'd twist the final knife in Barty's back and all he gets is a grin? Talk about a deflated happy balloon. But there is still a glimmer of hope.]

[His lip curls into a snarl.]

The strictest of confidence? Then how do I know? What makes you think you're the only one the Dark Lord confides in? You are not special, Barty, you are common. The most common of his servants. You are a fool for believing you mean anything to My Lord.

[He doesn't even know why he's doing it anymore, but he can't seem to stop!]

The only reason he saved you was to hurt your father, to ensure his death. He cared more about what happened to your father than he cared for you. You are just a common tool amongst the most loved and trusted of his servants.

[tongue_lashing]

[...Oh wow. Congratulations, Snape. You've managed to take a sledge-hammer every single one of Barty's buttons at once.]

[He can hardly even form sentences anymore. The first thing that comes out of his mouth is a long, wordless snarl of rage, followed by words shrieked with so much venom even Bellatrix would be impressed.]

---Shut up! Stop it, stop saying that, just shut up!

[He's... actually shaking now. Shaking and damn-near hyperventilating.]

[potionmaster]

[And Snape's work is done and he has no need to say anything else. He just stands back and smirks, though he does slide his wand from his sleeve...just in case.]

[Finally he rolls his eyes and sighs.]

Enough! Pull yourself together this instant! You make a mockery of us all with your hysterics. Compose yourself, Bartemius. Would you have our Lord find you this way? A sputtering, mad, mess of a Wizard?

[He may be a little worried that he did indeed break Voldemort's favored servant.]

[tongue_lashing]

[His only response is a frustrated growl; words, it seems, are beyond his range of capability at the moment. He rakes his hands though his hair in agitation, then turns on his heel and paces like a caged tiger.]

[The mention of his Lord is really the only thing keeping him anchored enough to not lose what little composure he has left and try to do something horrible to Snape.]

Most excellent voice test. Loving poor, mad, Barty!

[potionmaster]

[Snape watches Barty closely, still concerned that Barty's fragile grip on what's left his sanity will snap. Finally he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.]

Breathe, Bartemius.

Oh goodness, thank you! I've been loving their exchange--your Snape is fantastic!

[tongue_lashing]

[Part of Barty wants to ignore Snape's suggestion, just out of spite, but the other half--the dominant half--is so instinctively-wired to follow orders that he does as he's told without thinking.]

[He drags in a harsh, rattling breath, then another and another. It helps, some, but like hell he's going to say that out loud. Instead, he says something completely different in a low, harsh whisper that's directed less at Snape and more at himself.]

...hate that name.

Snape is rusty, this has been good for him! Thank you!

[potionmaster]

[Of course you do, that's why he's using it so much.]

You must learn to control yourself or you'll be useless to the Dark Lord.

[Time to fix Voldemort's favored son.]

It is true, Our Lord trusts you, Barty, and you are among his most loyal and devoted. Now stand tall, you have passed His test.

[Blah Blah Blah. Sigh.]

This has been a great exercise for both of us, then---I really love how these two gel

[tongue_lashing]

...What?

[He actually turns around, pausing mid-step in his frantic-pacing.]

A...test? This was all a test?

[It's both astonishing and a little sad that this placates him so quickly. Really, it's surprising he doesn't have mood-whiplash from switching between near-hysterical to elated in just a matter of seconds.]

[Have a pathetically happy grin, Snape. Only dogs and young children are ever this pleased to receive praise.]

You've made Snape feel sorry for him *facepalm*

[potionmaster]

[Merlin, Barty was as pathetic as a kicked dog being patted on the head.]

Yes a mere test of your devotion and loyalty. Well done, Barty.

[He's going to make himself sick if he keeps this up.]

It's not his fault---Barty is just a very pathetic character.

[tongue_lashing]

[Yes he is. And, also like a dog, he's quick to forgive. He's not even upset with Snape anymore.]

--Well done? Of course I've done done well, I would never fail him... never like this. I would never give him less than my complete devotion.