dear_mun | Voicetesting

Loyal, Barty?

[Hear that hissing? You might want to look behind you.] LOYAL?

You have been free all these years. You did NOTHING to find our Lord. You are NOT loyal. You have NO place beside him, you snivelling coward.

[Oh, Bellatrix. Pleasant as always, he sees.]

Free? [There's a hitching, incredulous laugh.]

Trapped under the Imperius Curse for twelve years? You call that free?

[Another biting laugh, this one sharp, maniacal.]

You know as well as I there is no freedom to be had when you're under that curse. When you're robbed of all free will...when you're trapped within a body you cannot control...

[His eyes glaze over slightly, gaze turning distant.]

---Our Lord himself released me. He came for me knowing he trust me above all others... knowing I had remained loyal, that I had not and never would betray him.

You have no right to question my devotion.

That's because you're WEAK, Barty. Weak, weak WEAK!

[Bellatrix leaned closer, her voice steadily getting louder] You must FIGHT.

[But then he adds in about their Lord freeing him. HIM? And not her? Not for almost a year later? No. He's lying.]

You're LYING! My Lord would not free you without me. You're a LIAR, you filthy traitor!

[Well. Yes. Hrm. This is going to take a moment of staring. He has yet to meet someone who looks like him and isn't the Doctor, and that did not sound like the Doctor at all.]

Um. I see.

[He doesn't, but standing there isn't accomplishing much.]

So. Lost are we?

[And by 'we' Theta means this odd look alike.]

[Theta, this guy is definitely not the Doctor. He's crazy as a bag of cats, and not in the fun eccentric way.]

You--Who are you? Why do you have my face?

[He's not up to date with all this cross-universe stuff yet. In fact, he's pretty sure you're just someone impersonating him with a Polyjuice potion, though Merlin knows why you'd want to do that.]

[The amount of crazy Theta runs into on a daily basis is amazing. This is just a new and interesting brand to him. It's all fun and games until a Dark wizard whips out a Avada Kedavra Curse. While that would still be interesting, the whole death part would be significantly less so.]

Me? I'm Theta Sigma. Who are you?

[There's a beat of thoughtfulness before he breaks into a pleased smile.]

It's like Charles Xavier and Wesley Gibson! Look alike people from different places. That's fascinating!

...Bartemius Crouch. The second. [Unfortunately. He views it as a great indignity to be named after his father.]

Xavier and Gibson?

[Barty has no idea who either of those people are, but he get's the look-alike part.]

How does that work? How is it two people can come from different worlds, yet bear the same appearance?

[It just seems really statistically improbable to him. But then he doesn't have much meta-knowledge yet, so he doesn't know that play-bys are a thing.]

Bartemius. Bartemius. I like it!

[Usually, there would be one half Time Lord all in Barty's space, but Theta is being a bit smarter today and getting close but not reach out and smack close. That's already happened once today, thanks.]

Oh yes! Happens at times. Lines get crossed and all that. It's very -

[No, not saying the Doctor's line.]

Complex! Right. Charles and Wesley look alike. David 8 and Erik... or Magneto as he's calling himself these days. They're the same. Think of this as a crossroads! You can stay here or go elsewhere. Does that make sense?

[Yeah, it's probably in everyone's best interests if Theta doesn't get too close. Barty's not the most stable of blokes, so there's really no telling how he'll react to an invasion of his personal space.]

Not really, no. But then, things rarely have to make sense to be real and true.

And just when I thought I'd seen the end of you. Tsk tsk, Bartemius, you're sounding rather mad you know.

Madness? Is that what it seems like to you?

I should hardly be surprised. You of all people would wouldn't be able to recognize what true loyalty and devotion looks like. You, who turned your back on our master.

[Sneers]

Then why, may I ask, does he consider me one of his most loyal of followers? His most trusted of servants in fact.

[Well, here he goes again with the agitated tongue-lashing.]

You've always been a skilled deceiver, Severus. My lord cannot be blamed for not seeing you for what you really are, the traitor I know you to be.

You may have gained his trust, but you haven't earned it. You don't deserve it.

[Chapped lips, Barty?]

You see nothing! Too many years under the Imperius Curse has made you delusional. It's sad, really, you had so much potential to serve our Lord. Now you're just a shadow of the man you used to be, which, to be honest, wasn't much.

[Smirk]

He is not your Lord. You haven't the right to call him that after all you've done.

[He really can't argue against being delusional, though. After spending twelve years stuck in his own head, left to stew in the memories of his year in Azkaban, he's more or less lost whatever sanity he once had. That, and he still has the mental and emotional maturity of the teenager he was when the curse was first put on him, so he's really not the most psychologically stable person.]

[Hence the childish petulance.]

Even as a shadow I'm still more of a man than you've ever been.

[His madness is very much apparent and Severus finds it far more amusing than he should.]

How was it, I wonder, stuck in your own head with nothing but a House Elf for company?

[Strokes his chin, studying you before speaking softly.]

I can see the madness in your eyes, Barty. What makes you think you can be of any service to the Dark Lord? What would he want with a mad man like you?

[Not that Voldemort isn't a mad man himself.]

[Ooh, you hit a sore spot, Snape. You might wanna stop prodding it before Barty snaps.]

[Forget curses, this guy's so unhinged he'll probably bite you.]

My Master came for me, he sought me out when he discovered I was alive. That alone proves he still has use for me, that I am still of value to him as a servant.

Yes, but I'm sure the Dark Lord wasn't aware of how completely insane you were when he came for you.

Perhaps he'll keep you under the Imperius and order you around like his own personal lap dog. I imagine you would feel quite at home, wouldn't you, Barty.

[Snape isn't feeling too generous today and feels like playing with fire. (Or the crazy man with the spittle around his mouth.)]

[Oh, you've got him twitching now. Between that and the tongue-lashing this guy is just a mess of nervous-tics.]

---My master may do with me whatever he wishes. I am his to command, and I will gladly do whatever he asks of me.

I'm sure you will prove your utter loyalty, Barty, when he asks you to live amongst the Muggles as his spy. I'm sure you'll be more than happy with the assignment.

[Fiddles with more fire]

I would. I would suffer any indignity, any torture, commit any crime...I return to Azkaban for him, should he ask. I would do anything for him, anything to prove my loyalty, my devotion.

[Have an eery, dreamy sort of grin, Snape.]

I am his to use, however he sees fit to use me.

[That's not uber creepy at all, Barty. The crazy is oozing out of your pores now.]

And if he told you to submit to my will? Would you still obey?

[Yeah, practically no amount of meds or therapy could ever make him right in the head again. He's that far gone.]

If my Lord asked it of me...

[~~This is such an unfair question.~~]

[Snape is nothing if not unfair. If he gets bored one day, he may poke into Barty's crazy mind and try and make him believe he's been given that specific order.]

Perhaps I was wrong about you, Barty. You will certainly make the Dark Lord proud.

[He taps his chin for a moment, wondering what to poke next.]

Though I must admit, Bellatrix is probably his most loyal and devoted servant, next to me of course. I'm sure he'll throw you a bone now and then.

[Given Barty has very little will-power, that probably won't be very hard to do.]

[At hearing Snape say he'll make his Lord proud, his face lights up in a childish sort of glee that's both creepy and really kind of pathetic. However, that smile vanishes at the words that follow.]

[How a Death Eater can manage to look like a kicked ~~rabid~~ puppy is beyond this mundane's comprehension, but Barty somehow manages it. For about three seconds. Then he gets pissed off again.]

Stop it. Stop declaring a loyalty you do not have! Stop claiming devotion when you scarcely know what the word means.

[Yep. There's spittle flying now.]

Would you suffer for him, Snape? Would you suffer for him as I have? Would you lay down you're life for him, as I would? Would you give yourself to him completely, to use and break and discard as he pleases?

[Snape might feeling a smidgen of guilt for messing with the crazy man, but he knows what Barty is capable of doing.]

The Dark Lord would never be that cruel to me. He would never break or discard me. My Master values me too much to do such things.

[Barty's entire life is pretty much just one long PSA about what happens if you don't hug your kids.]

That isn't the point. Would you be willing to, would you gladly accept--as I would--any fate he saw fit to bestow upon you? Do think it an honor--a privilege--to sacrifice everything for him?

[Snape can't help himself, he really can't. Snape can join that PSA right along with him.]

Did you know, Barty, that the man you would willingly die for, to sacrifice everything for, is a Half-Blood? That his father was a Muggle?

[There's that insane grin again.]

Yes, I do. He told me so himself.

[His smile widens at this and his eyes go a little distant, as if he's reliving a particularly fond memory.]

He trusted me enough to tell me, to share part of himself with me in the strictest of confidence.

[If Snape didn't know Barty doesn't really care about blood-purity before, he certainly does now.]

[Yes, he is surprised to say the least, he thought he'd twist the final knife in Barty's back and all he gets is a grin? Talk about a deflated happy balloon. But there is still a glimmer of hope.]

[His lip curls into a snarl.]

The strictest of confidence? Then how do I know? What makes you think you're the only one the Dark Lord confides in? You are not special, Barty, you are common. The most common of his servants. You are a fool for believing you mean anything to My Lord.

[He doesn't even know why he's doing it anymore, but he can't seem to stop!]

The only reason he saved you was to hurt your father, to ensure his death. He cared more about what happened to your father than he cared for you. You are just a common tool amongst the most loved and trusted of his servants.

[...Oh wow. Congratulations, Snape. You've managed to take a sledge-hammer every single one of Barty's buttons at once.]

[He can hardly even form sentences anymore. The first thing that comes out of his mouth is a long, wordless snarl of rage, followed by words shrieked with so much venom even Bellatrix would be impressed.]

---Shut up! Stop it, stop saying that, just shut up!

[He's... actually shaking now. Shaking and damn-near hyperventilating.]

[And Snape's work is done and he has no need to say anything else. He just stands back and smirks, though he does slide his wand from his sleeve...just in case.]

[Finally he rolls his eyes and sighs.]

Enough! Pull yourself together this instant! You make a mockery of us all with your hysterics. Compose yourself, Bartemius. Would you have our Lord find you this way? A sputtering, mad, mess of a Wizard?

[He may be a little worried that he did indeed break Voldemort's favored servant.]

[His only response is a frustrated growl; words, it seems, are beyond his range of capability at the moment. He rakes his hands though his hair in agitation, then turns on his heel and paces like a caged tiger.]

[The mention of his Lord is really the only thing keeping him anchored enough to not lose what little composure he has left and try to do something horrible to Snape.]

[Snape watches Barty closely, still concerned that Barty's fragile grip on what's left his sanity will snap. Finally he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.]

Breathe, Bartemius.

[Part of Barty wants to ignore Snape's suggestion, just out of spite, but the other half--the dominant half--is so instinctively-wired to follow orders that he does as he's told without thinking.]

[He drags in a harsh, rattling breath, then another and another. It helps, some, but like hell he's going to say that out loud. Instead, he says something completely different in a low, harsh whisper that's directed less at Snape and more at himself.]

...hate that name.

[Of course you do, that's why he's using it so much.]

You must learn to control yourself or you'll be useless to the Dark Lord.

[Time to fix Voldemort's favored son.]

It is true, Our Lord trusts you, Barty, and you are among his most loyal and devoted. Now stand tall, you have passed His test.

[Blah Blah Blah. Sigh.]

...What?

[He actually turns around, pausing mid-step in his frantic-pacing.]

A...test? This was all a test?

[It's both astonishing and a little sad that this placates him so quickly. Really, it's surprising he doesn't have mood-whiplash from switching between near-hysterical to elated in just a matter of seconds.]

[Have a pathetically happy grin, Snape. Only dogs and young children are ever this pleased to receive praise.]

[Merlin, Barty was as pathetic as a kicked dog being patted on the head.]

Yes a mere test of your devotion and loyalty. Well done, Barty.

[He's going to make himself sick if he keeps this up.]

[Yes he is. And, also like a dog, he's quick to forgive. He's not even upset with Snape anymore.]

--Well done? Of course I've done done well, I would never fail him... never like this. I would never give him less than my complete devotion.

[Suddenly, there was a voice from the shadows. Any specific source was difficult to pinpoint, as it seemed to come from every angle at once. It was amused, cheerful, and it uttered four separate syllables before returning to silence.]

Kookoo. Kookoo.

[Barty is no stranger to hearing unexplainable sounds. It sort of goes hand in hand with batshit-insanity. Though, that doesn't stop him from turning around, his eyes darting about as he looks for the source of the sound.]

---Are you playing games with me, you foolish little muggle?

[~~Hey now, don't go blaming me, Barty. I have nothing to do with this~~]

Actually, that would be me.

[Dick stops throwing his voice, meaning Barty can look up and spot him crouching in the rafters]

Hi Barty. Still worshipping a guy who routinely gets their butt kicked by a teenager?

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Most excellent voice test. Loving poor, mad, Barty!

Oh goodness, thank you! I've been loving their exchange--your Snape is fantastic!

Snape is rusty, this has been good for him! Thank you!

This has been a great exercise for both of us, then---I really love how these two gel

You've made Snape feel sorry for him *facepalm*

It's not his fault---Barty is just a very pathetic character.

I am so, so, sorry for this. Harry raised as Dick Grayson AU

You are the greatest

Re: You are the greatest

You've made Snape feel sorry for him facepalm