blah blah idk what i'm doing [canon is heavy rain]

[callthecops]

You done yet? Because I got better things to do right about now.

Comments

[worsecop]

[looks at him]

[looks down at himself]

[throws his hands up]

Nope. I am not dealing with this shit.

[callthecops]

[Oh for fucks' sake.]

You think I'm enjoying this shit? Hate to break it to you pal but the only time I like to look at myself is when I'm washing my fucking face.

[worsecop]

[backs away]

No way. I am not having an identity crisis today. Not on the goddamn schedule.

[callthecops]

Too bad. Change of plans. What are you going to do about it?

[He folds his arms. Nope. This body double is not moving anywhere.]

[worsecop]

[This could be an opportunity for a moment of introspection and clarity, where he realizes what a terrible person he is.]

[Nope.]

[also folds his arms, then notices he's mirroring the other guy and makes himself stop it.]

I've seen movies like this. How do we figure out which one is real?

[callthecops]

Are you-?

[Seriously. The shit that is coming out of this guy's mouth.]

You're shittin' me, right? What? Just because you have my face automatically makes one of us from Mars? Yeah, real good use of logic there. Try throwing some water at me while you're at and let's find out if I melt.

[worsecop]

Oh yeah, I'm full of shit, but a fuckin' clone out of nowhere, that makes sense.

[callthecops]

Want to state more of the obvious there, Sherlock? C'mon-- I can dwell on this all day long.

[worsecop]

You are such a fuckin' asshole.

[callthecops]

You're the one who decided to talk to himself, not me. And I'm not planning on kissin' anyone's ass. Not even my own.

[leanonstuff]

I'm sure you do, Blake.

[Just nothing related to actually solving any murders, he's sure.]

[callthecops]

[hurr hurr just look at him laughing his tits off]

Ooh, good comeback there Jayden. My body is just hurtin' from your smartass.

[leanonstuff]

[Better calm down that inner laughter before you damage something.]

It wasn't a comeback, just an observation.

[callthecops]

Yeah? You want to observe, go do it over in the corner with your fancy glasses.

[leanonstuff]

Nah, I only need to use them when I'm observing something that isn't already obvious.

[Or to play mindless, repetitive games. Can't forget about that.]

[callthecops]

Good for you. Now do you need somethin' from me or are you just going to continue running your mouth?

[leanonstuff]

Oh, I just overheard you talking, nothing important. Try to keep up that healthy, positive attitude.

[callthecops]

[Oh yeah. Because when he thinks of Agent Norman Jayden, Carter thinks of nothing but the pinnacle of health and wellness.]

You know for a guy who thinks that I am-- and I quote; "An unbalanced psychopathic asshole." You are doing a terrible job avoiding me. Am I smelling a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome there, psychology boy?

[leanonstuff]

[Norman may have a bit of trouble practicing what he preaches, occasionally.]

Who said I was avoiding you? Hell, I share a house with another you where I've been staying lately. It isn't exactly all rainbows and sunshine, but I don't actually have to see you that often and it's better than sleeping outside with the bears or with the creepy Renaissance guy.

[callthecops]

[...Alright then. Norman is officially off his goddamn rocker.]

Norman what the hell are you talking about?

[leanonstuff]

[Unofficially. Be precise, Blake.]

Do I have to slow down? What part of what I said don't you understand?

[callthecops]

Oh no, I heard you loud and clear. What I don't understand here is why you felt the need to spill your guts about your 'oh so' tough life in the forest of make believe. As if I really give a shit.

[This whole meta business is a load of shit.]

[regretzio]

[strum]

♪ Carter Blake, maybe misunderstood
His reasoning is hazy
Takes the notion of bad cop and good
All the way to crazy ♪

[callthecops]

Real cute there Jimmy Page. Here's a buck for going through all of that trouble racking your head all day for those lyrics.

[Look, here. He'll even toss it over your way. A good ol' Canadian dollar. Go nuts.]

[regretzio]

[awwwwwww yeah.]