/dusting off the muse [SPOILERS for upcoming Angel and Faith]

[consultmybooks]

 ...it took you seeing my head twist around to realize that Eyghon was likely responsible?

I thought I just had your morbid tendencies to be disturbed by, but your startling forgetfulness towards one of the most fundamental elements of my past is actually just as bad. Live and learn, I suppose. Or, um, not, in my case.

Now that we've settled that, however, and established that Angel isn't finished yet with stitching my soul together like a quilt, you can stop any more of that nonsense about bringing me into a game from that point. It isn't me. It might have dragged my body up out of the dirt, but it most certainly isn't me. The fact that Ethan Rayne is apparently in charge should, um, tell you that much.

If it was, I can assure you, I wouldn't be allowing Angel and Faith to be continuing on with this...idiocy. Lavinia, either. Seeing as how I'm still, um, very much dead, however...it isn't as though anyone can ask my opinion, is it?

...poor girls...

Comments

[technojanna]

So, um, when I told you to be optimistic...

[consultmybooks]

Would saying "I told you so" be terribly childish of me?

[technojanna]

A bit, yeah.

[consultmybooks]

[...]

Then I'll abstain.

[Sorry, Jenny. Both muse and mun are a bit shaken up by recent events. It's just about hell for Giles, knowing that his body is under Eyghon's control, tormenting innocent people and the few people he loves.

He thinks that she can probably sympathize, and hates himself all over again for ever subjecting her to that.]

I, um, I suppose you...never saw, just how, um, how disastrous a resurrection spell could be.

[technojanna]

...No. That sort of spell - it's not allowed. [Her people know better.

A strained little smile.] But I guess I couldn't help hoping.

[consultmybooks]

Hope is, um, a very worthy thing. [That he gave up a long time ago.] And, um, it's not as though there isn't still...cause for it. [Even if all he's hoping for now is a quick end to this nightmare, and to Angel's idiot plans.]

[...]

I, um, I thought about it. Once or twice, just...afterwards. Bringing you back, I mean.

[folklorist]

Gods Giles I-I'm so sorry. [ Because what is your life bro? What is both of their lives, they both suck. ]

[consultmybooks]

...so am I, Helios.

[What is his life? His life is suffering, is what it is. His life is awful. And it's not even his life, anymore.

At least Helios understands just how much life can suck.]

I mean, um, I suppose I should have known, that it would have taken more to defeat Eyghon entirely. And thinking that, um, th-that I might be safe, just because I was dead, was...the height of stupidity, all things considered.

[Giles laughs a tired, bitter laugh.]

[folklorist]

I'm the same. With Apep I mean. You can't always...know how things will go in-in the grand scheme of things. I wish I could do something to help, anything really. And just because you didn't foresee it doesn't make you stupid. You're anything but s-stupid Giles, as a friend and family I can certainly attest to that. You couldn't have possibly known this was going to, ah, happen. And I'm sorry that it is. You don't deserve this...no one deserves this.

[ Being used by a creature of evil. He knows how that goes too, sadly. ]

[consultmybooks]

...we're, um...we're much t-too alike. You and I. When, um...when all is said and done.

[It's like they're the same two people, in two different worlds. Some things are different, of course, that's only to be expected, but...so very much is the same.

Giles isn't sure how he feels about that. There and then, he has to fight back the urge to apologize. As though it's his fault that Helios has to endure Apep's evil, like Jenny had once endured Eyghon.]

...will they stop? Um, do, do you think that...this will make them stop?

[folklorist]

I know. [ Just a small affirmative acknowledgement at that statement. It hurt to know that someone so close could be tormented just as much as you. Especially in terms of the soul of all things. That was something that wasn't to be touched or marred, and yet both of theirs were now. ]

I don't know. I-I hope that it will. But-but you know how they are.

[consultmybooks]

...I know how they are.

[He knows that they're all acting out of love, and guilt for, in their minds, letting him die. In Angel's case, he's acting out of love for Buffy, of course.

That only makes it worse.]

I, um...I keep wondering. What will happen if, um, if they actually succeed. In bringing me back, I mean. Or, um...s-something like me.

[What will happen to him in Helios' world?]

[ex_conflictive975]

[ Faith's at a loss for words, so she just stands perfectly still and stares. ]

[consultmybooks]

[...awkward, to say the least. Giles just...stands, and doesn't look at her. Looks left, looks right, looks at his feet, looks anywhere but at her face.

Finally, because the silence is becoming as oppressive as, well, as the grave, he heaves a sigh.]

You, um, you weren't to know.

Angel should have.

[ex_conflictive975]

[ Her throat tightens. She feels a plethora of emotions and it's just too much for her to handle, so she ducks her head, stares at the ground, takes a deep breath and blinks back a few tears before she reluctantly lifts her head back up. ]

Did he do this?

[consultmybooks]

Angel, so far, has accomplished absolutely nothing besides attracting the attention of my great-aunts. And, um, gathering up bits of my soul that would have been better left where they were.

[Oh, Faith. Giles wishes so much that you weren't involved with this. That you'd stopped Angel before it got to this point. That you'd just taken what he'd given in his stumbling attempt to give you some kind of security in life, if he couldn't be there.

Mostly, he wishes that Angel - who had supposedly killed Eyghon - had paid a bit more attention.]

[ex_conflictive975]

I screwed up, G. I'm sorry.

[ It was her job to stop Angel if he started crossing lines - she knows that - but then everything started to spiral out of control, so now she's sort of egging him on and wishing for the best because she's selfish and she's goddamn tired of losing the people that she cares about. ]

[consultmybooks]

[...yes, Faith, you did.

But if it weren't for Angel, none of this would have ever been necessary.

He can't be angry at her. He should, maybe, but...he just can't. Because he misses her too much.

So, taking off his glasses to clean them, Giles does what he's gotten to be very good at.

Deflecting.]

...what do you intend to do to repair matters, then?

i haven't read a&f yet, so i'm going to say buffy's dreaming.

[dooming]

[ She can't speak. Hell, she can barely breathe. There are no words for how much Buffy has missed Giles, and now that he's standing right here, she can't even move.

And then she realizes it's a dream.

Still, a dream is better than nothing, isn't it? Finally, Buffy is able to force something out of her throat. At first, it's little more than a sound, but the sound turns into a word. ]

G-Giles?

Works for me! You should totally read it, though.

[consultmybooks]

[Dreams are funny things, and there's a power in them that most of the world doesn't understand. Too many people write them off as just idle, pointless things that pass the time at night.

Buffy and Giles have never had that luxury.

Maybe it was stupid of him to do this, but...Giles has missed her, and no matter how hard he tries not to, he still worries about her.

It's too late to disappear now, and so even as Giles' mind becomes a comlete and utter blank, he musters a smile.] Buffy. Um...hello.

H-How are you?

[professordormer]

It would appear that my Faith has changed quite a bit since the last time I saw her.

.../jaw drop

[consultmybooks]

Hm?

[While Giles holds no illusions that he knows everything or everyone in Faith's past, he knows a fair bit, and this woman is not ringing any bells.]

Sorry, um..."your" Faith?

[If he sounds a bit suspicious, it's because he completely is. Death doesn't change some things.]

/nervous wave

[professordormer]

Indeed. [ Cue a proud smile in 3...2... ] I'm her Watcher and she's my-- Wait, no. That isn't correct. Faith used to be my slayer and I used to be her Watcher. [ A beat. ] I...died.

[ Dead Watchers Club anybody? ]

I didn't know anyone else knew that book existed!

[consultmybooks]

[Dead Watcher club. Diana can be president. She has seniority, after all.

Excuse Giles for a second. His brain...more or less shuts down at this news. In fact, he just stares for a second like he can't believe what he's seeing. Mostly because he can't - some things, no matter how long you live, are just hard to accept.]

You're...?

[And then, with an almighty shake, he recovers himself.] M-Miss Dormer? Good lord, it's...it's an honor.

[Really all he can say to that. And, still looking deeply, deeply flustered, Giles holds out his hand for a shake.]

It's an amazing book! I'm re-reading it for the billionth time atm.

[professordormer]

[ Diana's both perplexed and flattered by his reaction. ]

You are far too kind, Mr. Giles. [ Fixing a smile onto her lips she takes his hand in hers and gives it a firm shake. ] Oh, and please, call me Diana.

[ After a moment she lets go of his hand, clears her throat and pushes her glasses up her nose. ] My mun has informed me that you meant a great deal to Faith. I-I understand that you aren't around anymore because of a...vampire, but I would like to thank you for being there for her while you could.