Super Kami Guru is humble

[nail_cleanthatup]

The world did not end, a new year has begun, and I even let the sun rise this morning.

You are welcome.

Comments

/Casually brings out Abridgedcard so everyone is suddenly voiced by Takahata101

[maybe_a_count]

[He merely frowns at you, as coming out of his coffin in the middle of the day is exhausting.]

<(' '<) (^' '^) (>' ')>

[nail_cleanthatup]

You have a hat.

...

Give it to me.

[maybe_a_count]

[Foolish green man, demanding his hat. He chuckles.]

And what if I said no?

[The only authority he answers to, if any is Integra. That, and he's still pissed about Guru allowing the sun to rise.]

[nail_cleanthatup]

I'll sit here being the better person while you sit there being a selfish jerk.

A selfish, disgustingly pale jerk.

[maybe_a_count]

And nothing of value was lost.

[nail_cleanthatup]

Except my time and my patience.

Also, it is a stupid hat.

[maybe_a_count]

Instead of wasting your time and patience on inane questions such as demanding my hat, why don't you watch some TV?

[Do Namekians have TVs yet? Aside from the three suns thing, I'm pretty sure it would be nigh impossible for Alucard to live there if he at least didn't have TV.]

[nail_cleanthatup]

That's what I've been saying! We need a big screen TV in this place.

We are missing out on some great shit!

[maybe_a_count]

Too bad some demi-god wannabe blew up mine, so I believe we are at an impasse. And my boss cannot find it within her heart to replace it, nor has she hooked up DSL in the Hellsing Manor yet, fucking figures.

[nail_cleanthatup]

My subordinate is stupid and useless. I've been demanding a TV for weeks!

How many times do you have to smack someone before they get it right?

[maybe_a_count]

Hm, at least my fledgling has big titties and can use a cannon.

Maybe I should turn all the paintings in my Master's manor to make Senpai notice me convince her that getting me a new TV is a good idea. [Before he runs off to Brazil and goes on a mass killing spree. Alucard, YOUR IDEAS ARE GREAT. Certainly Integra will notice you, then!]

[nail_cleanthatup]

Big titties? I've been totally ripped off!

[Except your race is a bunch of asexual slugs.]

Maybe I should stop being so kind to Nail, maybe then he'll get off his lazy ass.

[timespacemessiah]

Shut up, you senile old slug. You are not God. Do not try to play God!

[nail_cleanthatup]

I don't come around your home and tell you how to not have friends. You shouldn't come around my home and tell me how to be Super Kami Guru.

[timespacemessiah]

I do not need friends. Friendship and sentimentality is useless. And you do not need to be Super Kami Guru because you are NOT a god.

[nail_cleanthatup]

You know what sort of people say they don't need friends? People who don't have them.

And I don't need to be Super Kami Guru, I was born this way. I bet you don't even have 7 balls.

[wheresyourballs]

Whoa. You're able to make the sun rise?

That's really cool!

[nail_cleanthatup]

Of course I can. I am Super Kami Guru.

I didn't know Namek had monkeys, though.

[wheresyourballs]

"Kami"? I know someone who's also named Kami! Come to think of it, he looks a little like you. You're a lot bigger, though.

And I'm not a monkey. I'm Goku!

[nail_cleanthatup]

You mean the earth Kami? The lesser Kami. He's a total douche.

So, Goku, have you come here to oppress our people and commit genocide?

[wheresyourballs]

Huh? Whaddya mean?

[UH.] ...You're sort of weird, Super Kami Guru.

[nail_cleanthatup]

You are on a planet full of green, tailess men.

Who do you think the weird one is?

[wheresyourballs]

[This must be a trick question!]

Then, uh, everyone else?

[nail_cleanthatup]

I see, your primitive monkey brain just barely grasps these concepts.

I suppose it is my duty to guide you into the light.

...Or maybe we should just summon the dragon and have it wish you a new brain.