AU!Batwoman!Dana Tan, homeless indefinitely

[timeshare_batwoman]

What was the point of making this account when you have no intention of playing me anywhere? Why bother getting friends for that pathetic twip I used to be; she already has enough. I need to go back to Gotham, before Max gets overworked.

...oh, and don't even think of using any icons of her for me. I'm not that girl anymore.

Comments

[dontcallmebatwoman]

I have no idea what the hell you're talking about, 'cause by my estimations, last day I got off my job was three weeks from never.

I also don't know why the hell you think I ever had a sex change. Considering it was at your house that I got to learn all about joys of puberty when I used your bathroom and screamed so loud your dad thought I was being murdered, Tan.

[timeshare_batwoman]

And I have no idea what you're talking about, as my father never let you into the house long enough to use the bathroom, much less discover puberty.

Care to come up with a better explanation for why you're female and not dead? One that doesn't involve abandoning the mantle?

[dontcallmebatwoman]

Which begs the question, how the hell do you know so much about me, but not that your parents were cool with me until I landed in juvie and your dad got a hate-on for me because I reminded him of your loser brother?

Oh, you mean like the fact that I was freaking born a girl?

[timeshare_batwoman]

I'm sorry, you must be thinking of some other Tan. I'm an only child and my mother probably never knew Terry existed, given how much she cares about my life.

That might explain the gender, though I doubt it, but not the alive part or the lack of Batman.

[dontcallmebatwoman]

Yeah, only child in the fact your dad likes to pretend he doesn't have a son.

Oh yeah, it might just explain the gender. Wow, yeah, I don't think you are the same Tan, she's dim sometimes but she's not a freaking idiot. And who the hell ever said there was a lack of Batman?

((OOC: I should note, I've incorporated ALL THE CANONS into my AU. If you don't know where this brother thing came from, it's from the 2010/11 comics. There's other things that may show up that never happened in the show.))

[timeshare_batwoman]

If he didn't disown me for throwing my life away after Terry died, I doubt he'd disown some mythical son.

Let me spell it out for you. I. Don't Care. About. Your. Gender. Male, female, none, weird alien thing, whatever. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you either you died, or you faked your death to get out of being Batman, and people died because of it.

[dontcallmebatwoman]

Yeah, no way you're the same person I know. I only know half of what went down with Doug, and I know that I'd disown him. And I'm the idiot who tried to redeem both Charlie and Jack.

While we're spelling things out: I. Am. Not. Dead.

[timeshare_batwoman]

Of course I'm not. I'm not the same person anyone knew. Not anymore.

Then mind telling me who that dead body was? And where you've been for the past four years?

[dontcallmebatwoman]

It's Gotham, you want me to explain a dead body, you gotta give me details.

School. Celebrating birthdays 13 through 17. Brief stint in juvie. Being a bodyguard to a multimillionaire. Same old same old.

[timeshare_batwoman]

Teenaged male, dressed in the shredded remains of the Batsuit. Beyond that, too damaged to confirm identity visually, so they had to use DNA testing.

I know that. I'm talking 17 through 21.

[dontcallmebatwoman]

Couldn't tell you, nothing like that's ever happened.

...Did you really not get that I just said that in the past four years, I turned 17? As in, I'm not over 17, so I couldn't possibly know what'll happen to me by the time I turn 21? Seriously, you are proving yourself more and more dense the more you open your mouth.

[timeshare_batwoman]

Well, I'm 21, and before this, we've always been the same age. Then again, we've been different genders. So you're missing both time and some equipment.

[dontcallmebatwoman]

Or we go back to my first theory, that you're some sort of psycho stalker using my best friend's name and wearing a costume that doesn't belong to you.

[timeshare_batwoman]

Ooh, ouch. I'd get the old man to vouch for me, but he doesn't seem to be here. Maybe you could get him to vouch for you, if you can reach him?

[dontcallmebatwoman]

Ha, like he'd let anyone else get involved. He won't even let Max in the cave even though she's saved my butt at least twice.

[timeshare_batwoman]

After Shriek started levelling the city, he didn't have much of a choice. Plus he wasn't expecting silly little Dana would steal part of the Batsuit when she asked to see where Terry had worked, just once.

[dontcallmebatwoman]

You're contradicting yourself. You said the suit was shredded; now you stole part of it. If anything had happened to that suit, Bruce would have destroyed it in a second. We almost did when it decided it had a mind of its own.

[timeshare_batwoman]

Don't ask me why he didn't destroy it completely. Maybe the same reason he didn't destroy it when he first retired.