trapped in sample hell.

[beknighted]

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[beknighted]

[What oh god what have you done what. Dick keeps that out of his expression, though. There's only resolve.]

I'm on my way. [And he adds, because he is not big brother coming in to save the day from Fuckup McGee—] I'll follow your lead.

[robinred]

[ Oh God don't-- ] Dammit, Dick! You're going there to help us, alright? It's not a game.

[ Except for that part where it is but. Meta. Following Tim's lead will ensure the apocalypse. ]

[beknighted]

You know the place and the people, the situation at hand; I'll know nothing. You're a perfectly capable team leader and I'll follow your lead.

[Give him an inch of opportunity to be supportive, and he'll take a mile, Tim. Right into the apocalypse well maybe not. Buy the ticket, take the ride.]

[robinred]

[ It's as if Dick was purposefully attempting to rub salt in the wound. Couldn't have done better if he tried. ] I'm not leading anybody. There's a reason I left the Titans to Cassie. [ and you know what, damn her too.

Since Dick obviously won't get it-- he never gets it: ] I fucked up, I hurt people-- I don't know how much use I'll be now that a raptor's going to get to maul me, too. I'll get better, I'll get through it, but there is nobody to follow. Not yet.

[beknighted]

[Dick waits that out. He waits an extra few seconds in case Tim has any more vitriol to spit as relates to his lack of telepathy. And, without appearing the least bit upset, because nothing will ever get done if he lets himself get visibly upset at Tim being upset, he nods once.]

Okay. ["Not visibly upset" or not, he says it shortly. It must be the closest thing to what Tim wants, which is for him not to be there.] For future reference, when I get there you'll have to give me more substantial answers than "I don't know," especially when you don't mean "I don't know." Otherwise I will be exactly as useless to you then as I am now. Deal?

[robinred]

I'm not going to say 'no', Dick.

[beknighted]

Then I guess my phrasing it as a question was a courteous way of not ordering you to do something you already know to do.

[robinred]

[ He just wants the ground to swallow him up.

Why can't it? And what the hell is he supposed to say to that? The truth-- "I'm trying"? No, because he's not supposed to try, he's supposed to know and do. Especially when other lives were on the line. So then there's only silence. Like from a child who got called out on throwing a tantrum. ]

[beknighted]

[He can see it and he wants to take it back immediately. This is completely ass backwards. It's wrong. Yet this feels like the first time he's gotten through. Dick keeps his expression the same as it was, neutral and non-judgmental, but presenting a blank slate only allows the other person to project onto it; he'd know as well as anyone. It can't and it won't be the way.]

And I know you will, when we're there and it's not just you and me in a meaningless void.

I'll see you soon, Tim.

help me i'm like laughing and sobbing at the same time

[robinred]

Yeah, 'meaningless'. [ Your choice of words is absolutely outstanding, you bastard. ]

I'll see you when I see you. [ He at least promises not to dig up any more graves. . . ]

/SHAKES TIM BY COLLAR IN SLOW MOTION

[beknighted]

[HE'S JUST

GOING TO LET THIS GO

FOR NOW]