voicetesting

[geezerteaser]

...really, this was the best username that you and your friends could think up for me? I expected stupid cat jokes or something shifter related, but no, you went with my age in a way that could be construed all the wrong ways. The terrible part was expected, what with you taking great joy in ruining my ancestors' lives, but the age stuff wasn't really expected at all.

You could have done something pretentious and French. I know you have it in you to do it and it'd work with my whole cover as a rich asshole of a playboy in the country and all. Come on, don't give me that "je ne parle pas français" bullshit. You and I both know that you know enough to find something fitting.

Of course, you didn't do that and now I'm completely certain that I'm not allowed to have nice things. I'm thankful you're not planning to send me to one of these games or anything. Okay, no, I see that look and I'm ignoring it because once again no, you're not sending me anywhere. You're not allowed.

Comments

[notjustawriter]

[Nope, that wasn't snickering or anything.]

[geezerteaser]

[Yes there so was. He heard you, what with heightened feline senses and all that jazz.]

Go ahead, laugh it up. It's something to be laughed at. But I swear to the Creator above, I do not tease old people. They're all fragile and that's just mean. I was raised better than that. Respect your elders and all--oh gods I'm rambling aren't I? I am and I bet I sound so silly.

...I'm sorry, this is all kind of new to me.

[notjustawriter]

Oh it's.... no big deal.

Sorry, it's just such a funny name. Mine's pretty boring, though.

[geezerteaser]

Oh good, I was worried about that. I'm not usually like this, you know. This is just me, unable to cope with stupid names and being a fictional construct of somebody's mind. I'm normally the coolest cat in town, but this? Ruining my cred here, man.

I know. I'd trade you names. Can we do that? I'm not much of a writer, but I think it could work out. I mean, it's not like you tease old people or anything, right?

...you don't pick on old people, do you?

[notjustawriter]

Trade in names?

[At the question, he develops a very slight smile.]

Me? Never.

[geezerteaser]

Yeah, like swap these journals or something, not trade our actual names. Because I like Ethan. Ethan is a very fine name. It's very...me for the moment.

Good, good. That would just be plain wrong, you understand? And I don't want to hurt you for teasing old people because you don't seem like such a bad guy.

[notjustawriter]

For the moment?

[Not commenting on that second part, though!]

[geezerteaser]

I like to switch my name up from time to time. It gets boring using the same one over and over and over and over again. Though the ID people get really annoyed when I keep changing my name, but that's just me in a nutshell.

[...it's really hard to tell if he's lying or not.]

[notjustawriter]

[Gabriel has no idea.]

Is that right? Well, that's something!

[heatedup]

Well, mine is based on something someone said to me during sex one time. It could be worse.

[geezerteaser]

...yeah, okay, you win because that's pretty bad.

[heatedup]

YUP. Welcome to the life.

[geezerteaser]

I think you should demand a rewrite or something because your life doesn't sound all that great to me. Well, not great or really tmi because dude, seriously.

[heatedup]

Honestly it's...all right. Could be better. If she'd stop cackling like a hag about it.

[geezerteaser]

This might be kind of obvious, but digging through my many many years of experience, I have learned that cackling never leads to good things.

[willbemyname]

I'd say it could be worse but... that really makes you seem like you got a thing for old people.

[geezerteaser]

Well, liking old people isn't a bad thing, but old is kinda relative to what species you're talking to though. Not that it really matters since everyone's going to think old humans and I wouldn't like them like them since they're all weak and wrinkly and I could accidentally break them by hugging them or touching them or something. It would really not be all that great.

[willbemyname]

Well, most of us think old humans when someone says geezer. I'd ask how old you are but I get this feeling it's going to be some impossible number with like a billion years of history.

[geezerteaser]

Hey, I'll have you know that Ethan Durant is a boring, normal thirty-seven years old.

...Though, if we're being honest with each other, I'll say just think ice age and you'll have about the right age for me. And I'm still holding a grudge over your ancestors hunting me and my kind with spears and using our skins for blankets and clothes because hey, we were still using those.