On recent developments in Fate/Apocrypha

[penisenvy]

Fuck this update.

Fuck this user name.

Above all, mun...

FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you know why I keep myself well-covered at all times? It's to hide my fucking failure of a body! It's to hide the fact that I CAN'T BE LIKE FATHER! Apparently it's too much work for you or this Nasu asshole to have some respect for my fucking privacy!

Dear fucking Christian God and pagan Celtic deities alike! Does my life suck that much? Is the bar for human decency and respect set lower for me than for everyone else? My heart and body can be ripped to shreds and no one would care!

...You're laughing, aren't you? Stop trying to hide it. You're laughing. Everyone is laughing. That's right, laugh at this failure of a clone who can't grow the right body parts! You think I didn't try you stupid bitch?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

The only thing that keeps me from slaying you where you stand is chivalry. I hope you know that.

Comments

[conner_el]

Just as one clone to another, you're your own person. No matter who you're made from ... trust me, I almost drove myself nuts about the same stuff.

[penisenvy]

I know. I'm not making any claims about actually being Father.

[Nobody could truly match her father.]

But I'm supposed to be a perfect successor for him.

[conner_el]

Even if you are, that doesn't mean you're supposed to be the same thing.

[Least he thinks so.]

[penisenvy]

Only a perfect duplicate can succeed a perfect king and not bring the kingdom to ruin.

[conner_el]

[blinks]

I kinda know the feeling.

[penisenvy]

Then you would understand why I am a failed clone. After all, how else would a child who is supposed to be a man end up born in the form of a woman?

[conner_el]

Well just because you're a girl doesn't mean you're a failure. I mean, if you can do all the other stuff your father could do, then that doesn't really matter.

I mean, it's not like you're half-evil-guy or something.

[penisenvy]

[For a moment, she wonders if he is mocking her. When she speaks again, it is through gritted teeth.]

My father was the perfect king. My mother stood against him.

[She would never go so far as to call her own mother evil, but she knows that her mother is not exactly good.]

Father resented me for being Mother's son.

[conner_el]

[He blinks a few times, looking genuinely surprised. This is kind of a fucked up family life. Even by his genetic standards.]

I'm sorry. I really had no idea.

Uhm, I was kinda talking about me, actually.

[penisenvy]

I see. Sorry. I was caught up in my own problems. You have my condolensces.

[conner_el]

It's cool. I mean, you've kinda got a pretty good reason to be. Although I still think you'll do just fine at the King ... Queen ... thing.

[penisenvy]

[A nod.]

I know I can rule well if given the chance. That is a skill I know I have. But can a failed clone become king?

[conner_el]

Yeah. I think so. Buuuuut you're not a failed clone.

http://media.dcentertainment.com/sites/default/files/character_bio_576_bizarro9.jpg

That is.

[Seeing Bizarro always unnerves him just a little. Y'know, the thought that he could have turned out like that]

[penisenvy]

...What happened to him?

[She looks from Connor to the picture.]

I'll admit. I do look better.

[conner_el]

He was cloned from the same guy I was. It-uh ... he kinda started falling apart.

Oooh yeah. Way better.

[penisenvy]

The poor thing.

{It makes her wonder about her own fate. There were those who said homunculi could achieve a sort of immortality if they used their magic circuits correctly, and yet there were others who said that they would burn out faster than normal humans. What would she look like once her body reached its limit?]

[conner_el]

Yeah, I feel bad for him ...

[Both because it's genuinely sad, and because of how close to home it is]

[penisenvy]

Did he find some sort of peace in the end, at least?

[conner_el]

Not really ... least he enjoys what he does ...

[The long answer is "it depends on which universe, and which version of him HERE" buuuuuut that's gonna take a while to explain.]

[penisenvy]

I...understand. And you? Do you enjoy what you do?

[conner_el]

Hell yeah! It's awesome!

[Like everything else, it's got it's bad days, but there isn't a thing in the world Conner'd rather be doing.]

But ... I've got some really big shoes to fill.

[penisenvy]

Good luck. I wish you success in your endeavors.

[conner_el]

Thanks ... I hope you become king. ... Queen ... whatever.