Guuurl!

[freshtodeath]

Heyyy gurrrrrl! So like, I don't blame you... for wanting to have me as your muuuuse. I'M JUST SO. LUMPING. HOT RIGHT NOWAH. I mean, look at this smokin' bodday!
[Cue vigorous hip shaking and lip pouting.]

Mmmmm yeah, work it guuuurlll!

But seriouslay..like..Billeh, was totes checking me out the other day.. and then.

THEN.. he offered me, a piece- of cake. And I was all.. No- Billeh!... Can't you see... that I'm watching... this gorjuss figure? Like...seriouslayyy...!?

But...he wouldn't lumpin' leave me alone..so I was all..
LUMP OFF- BILLEHHHHHHHHAH! [Crazy arm flail.] You can't. Be. MY BOYFRIEND!

And then Brad shows up, because he obviously has emotional attachments to this..
[Gesturing to..well, who knows...]
And it was like, totally awkward. Because one time, I went to the movies with Brad, and we gazed into each others eyes all romanticlaaay...
....But I only did it to make Billeh jealous!!..
ARHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why doesn't one of them just love meh alreadayy...I'm like, the total packaaaage. [Pouting.]