Trollgram is 100% done with you, User.

[trollmaster_gibson]

Alright, lady, listen up.

I have had it up to here with your ridiculous fear of commitment.  You have been waffling for NINE USER MONTHS NOW. Do you have any idea how long that is in Program Time?   Seriously, I'm beginning to think ALL Users are like this.  You don't want to contribute to the typecasting of your entire species as flaky asshats, do you?  Because that'd just be sad.

Blah blah blah excuses, excuses.  Let's cut the junk data, alright: you know goddamn well you're perfectly capable of keeping up with a moderately fast-paced game.  And don't give me that BS about how you're an old dog who doesn't take easily to new tricks.  You know the ropes now.  Time to--hold on, hold on, let me consult my Useful Notes on User-speak file here--"man up", "put on your big girl panties", and get with the program. By which, of course, I mean me.

There is a city of darkness out there, lost in a mire of power shortages and srs bzns.  They NEED me, User.  Will you continue to deny them my skills?  

(Also seriously, yo, the Great Recycle Bin in the Sky sucks.  Get me out of here.  I promise I won't switch places with you.  Why are you looking at me like that?)

Comments

[notglitching]

[Don't mind someone just... staring, a bit. (And side-eying. All the side-eying.) He's gotten his memory files back. He remembers you. Enough.

But until now? Rinzler still wouldn't have thought it was possible for any program to talk that much more than Clu.]

..."srs bzns"?

[trollmaster_gibson]

[...oh hey, if it isn't Captain Srs Bzns his very own self. IRONY.]

...ha. Might've known I'd run into you. Long time no see, Tron.

Man I totally had this awesome crack all lined up about how somehow you managed to beat me to the Recycle Bin, buuuut I guess there's a funny story about that that I totally missed out on, huh. :\

[notglitching]

Not so funny.

[Just a fraction more animosity in that stare than Tron might usually level? Maybe. A thousand cycles of having ISO and target read the same will do that to a program. He's working on it. >.> Really. A little.]

I'm not Tron.

[trollmaster_gibson]

[The most epic of Spock Eyebrows, Rinzler. It's all for you]

...really? Because man, I gotta say, you have got the unimpressed scowling and the eye-lasers and the uncomfortably sexy gravel-voice down.

asldkf CANNOT STOP LAUGHING LONG ENOUGH TO TAG.

[notglitching]

[Gibson. Gibson? You are teaching Rinzler to eye-roll by your mere presence. Be proud.

Well, make that glare-eyeroll-speculative-look. But no. He's not supposed to murder random non-threats just because he's bored. Yori keeps telling him off for it. :c There's still a faint shift forward, hunch to predatory lean. Half his code still flags you as a threat. Or, well. Prey.]

Repurpose.

[Circuits flicker briefly, shift to red. Masking effect, not the active loyalty code, but he'd prefer not to dredge that up when it's mostly self-partitioned.]

Rinzler now.

I TRY ;A;

[trollmaster_gibson]

[stickfigureleaningawayfrommonitor.jpg]

...wow, okay. First of all, orange is definitely not your color. Second of all, and please understand I mean this as the sincerest of compliments, but...you? HOW??

[notglitching]

[You have acquired Knife-Edged Smile (1).]

Figure it out.

[He does let up enough to drop the circuit-mask. Eventually.]

Better than you. Viral?

[trollmaster_gibson]

[Wow. You used to just be kind of scary, Tron, but now you are certifiably creepy.]

...yeah I've...got more'n an idea, but still. YOU. That's...an achievement. All joking in poor taste aside, I...honestly don't know what to say.

[Grats, Rinzler. You have actually struck Gibson snarkless.]

[Still, there is some small relief in the word "repurpose", as it implies that Tron didn't cross over to the son of a glitch's way of thinking willingly. Except the very idea behind this kind of repurposing goes over with Gibson's rebel Bostrumite heart like a depleted-uranium lightjet with a dead power core.]

Eh? Nope, not anymore. Just plain old dead. Believe me, it sucks less.

[notglitching]

[Hey, you haven't even seen him helmeted and rumbly. Not to mention those homicidal tendencies towards you and yours. A faint snort in response.]

Be glad your user's slow. Would have been worse before.

[Still he's just going to be... savoring that snark-free micro, yup. Shut up, he doubts he'll get another for the next cycle if you come visit.]

Known. [On both counts.]

[silentexe]

[ Wow, like half of that lingo is going over Anon's poor baby Basic head. But that doesn't matter because GIBSON!

Actually, no, he can't help headtilting at the language. Because seriously, what did Gibson even say. ]

[trollmaster_gibson]

[A WILD ANON APPEARS. Gibson used CONFUSE. It's SUPER-EFFECTIVE!]

N'awww.

That's what I love about you, buddy. You do that adorable little head-tilty thing and nobody expects it when you lay the smack down upon them. Best show on the Grid.

[silentexe]

[ It's always SUPER-EFFECTIVE, sadly. Anon will never not be trolled.

But pleased Monitor is pleased, from the crossed arms and chest puff. He takes his duty seriously! So glad you enjoy watching, Gibson. ]

[trollmaster_gibson]

[Have a headlock and a noogie, babby broski. Personal space, what is.]

Awww come on, don't be like that, you know you love that look of slowly dawning comprehension on some null-unit Sentry's face when they realize the guy they thought was a cute, clumsy baby Bit is actually a 500-kilo pain train headed straight for them.

[silentexe]

[ Wait what is this OH never mind that's okay. Struggling to get out of the headlock though because Gibsoooooooon stahp he is a serious System Monitor okay!! ... that is pretty cool though, admittedly. The element of surprise is always fun. ]

[itlookslikeyoure]

It looks like you are trying to get an old user to interface with a slightly less old mode of operation. Would you like help?

Checking to see if their life tag has changed color?
Getting them out of their underground police android factory job?
Enrolling them in the Killgore surf school?
Commissioning a new spine from OCP?

[trollmaster_gibson]

[Oh hello, thing. What are you even.]

Greetings, tiny...horribly mutated Bit...thing.

Dude, if she actually had anything remotely resembling an "underground police android factory job" I would lay off her. Hell, if she had anything remotely resembling a function at all. >_>

...also this Kilgore Surf School thing sounds rad. Always did want to take up surfing.

[itlookslikeyoure]

I am capable of getting macaroni and glitter to help your mun appease the MCP with macaroni pictures. Would you like me to activate that function?

[trollmaster_gibson]

Sadly, the MCP was before my time, to my eternal sorrow. We had to make do with SpaceRacist McWon'tShutUp, our Creeper-in-Chief. :\

...that SAID, I am totally not averse to trolling him with graffiti made of oddly-named User food products, so by all means, activate away.

[itlookslikeyoure]

By downloading and installing the newest version of MS Paint, the user can then apply the macaroni tool and glitter filter for ALL their art needs! From power point pictures to inappropriate body parts Microsoft is here to suit your needs!

[voiceless_anon]

[Here, have another, slightly older Anon. With a data pad.]

Muns can be difficult to persuade. Though my User says that your dark city isn't too bad, and that the activity requirements are low.

(That said, mine tried it, but flaked out.)

She needs to start tagging properly again in the game I'm in.

[Why yes, that does mean 'start writing MY tags again, mun'.]

[trollmaster_gibson]

Yeah that's one of the excuses mine's trying to hedge with. I am unimpressed.

... though frankly she's got a bit of a point, if I have to look at Jalen making with the Sad Neglected Woobly Eyes over in the Corner of Woe for much longer I'm gonna go crazy.

[mailerdaemon]

[Oh, it's a Bostrumite. Exim snerks, then covers up her laughter with one of her hands.]

Sad to say, but I'm afraid that most Users seem to be a few bytes short of a full loadout.

[lifes_short_pop]

Maybe she's worries you won't fit in with some of the systems she's lurking on. That's the case with me. My...um...user...mun...whatever...is pretty sure I'd cause trouble if I went to an actual game. She keeps me here to try and calculate how I'd 'work' with other people from my home universe. Maybe the same it the case for you?

[expect_me]

You're mixing your metaphors really hard, there.

[Have one (1) more happy Anon grinning at you like a loon. He has a phone, though, not a datapad. He also doesn't have his helmet up, but the blue-lined armor ought to be familiar enough, right?]

And what is... srz bznz? It sounds like you got a vocal glitch.

how do I hold all these anons ;A;

[trollmaster_gibson]

[OMU your cheeks. Gibson wishes to pinch them.]

Whatever, I consider proper User grammar to be a small sacrifice in the service of getting the point across to the lazy flake behind the keys. And you're one to talk about vocal glitches.

[Big grin right back at you, though, brogram.]

Serious business. This "Abax" place looks like it's running a surplus. But never mind that, why the glitch didn't you tell me you were so CUTE under that helmet?

just please don't say handbasket.

[expect_me]

[Have Anon's best Security-brand Lineface, Gibson.]

Technically, I'm not talking at all.

[Aaaaand eyeroll. Gibson. Gibson no.]

I look like my User. Big deal.

Oh come on, who could resist the image of half a dozen Anons in a basket?

[trollmaster_gibson]

Aaaand there's that whole-body eyeroll I missed so much. Sorry I'm running so late, buddy. [Though Gibson totally owes you a smack upside the helmet for getting killed after all that trouble he went to to keep you alive, brogram.]

Nice communication gadget. It come with the package?

[Intelligence gathering is important!]

there is only one place you go in one of those :c

[expect_me]

Oh, I dunno. At least this way I figure we can go a whole microcycle before Rinzler tries to disk you in the face for running your mouth.

[He waves the phone a bit, smirking.]

Standard, yup. Maybe if you're nice I'll show you how to encrypt it good.