Two Americas for the price of one!

[statusquodebt]

(( OOC ; Just so we're clear, black text is statusquodebt, Hetalia America, and blue text is unalienable, Nyotalia America. They're both my muses, but I thought to make one post for both of them instead of two for practicality. Either of them may respond to comments, but if you want to thread with a specific muse (including other Hetalia muses if you know them), just put their name in the subject line of your tag. ))

I can't believe you actually drink that disgusting sludge, mun.

[ Alfred and his female counterpart, Amelia, watch with narrowed, unimpressed eyes as their mun gulps down yet another cup of steaming hot black tea, straight, their mouths set into thin, contemptuous lines. Their arms are crossed over their chests while they listen with little sympathy apparently to the excuse the girl gives them. ]

Coffee is hot too, y'know. It makes just as much steam. You could have that. Or chicken noodle soup, like every other normal American does when they're sick.

[ Chicken noodle soup is one of the mun's least favorite foods. She doesn't drink coffee either . Too bitter! ]

Well, at least it doesn't taste like oppression!

[ Alfred nods firmly in obvious agreement with Amelia's statement and pumps a fist that he makes with his right hand a little. Over two and a half centuries have passed and they still take tea way too personally.

Don't you guys have anything better to do? Like tags? ]

No— O-Oh! You've been busy! We figured you weren't... y'know, in a big rush to get them done or anything like that... since you've had work and then being sick and stuff...

What she means is, she wouldn't shut her mouth to let me get a word in, and now she's gone chicken, because flirting with France, and Scotland, and Spain, and Arthur is one thing, but doing that—

[ He means sex, by the way. ]

—with any of them is more complicated.

That's not it!

Yeah, it is! You're a big, fat scaredy-cat.

'Am not!

'Are too.

Alfred!

[ And cue Amelia cutting off Alfred's obnoxious laughter by giving Nantucket a good yank, which prompts him, in turn, to shove her off her chair and onto the floor. She gets up on her knees with an angry growl and makes to tackle him, but the mun intervenes with the Mighty Rolled-Up Newspaper of Damage Control and thwacks them both upside the head with it. They get the message. ]

Okay, fine! Sunday. We'll do them all then since it's your day off.

Anyway, mun, we want to say we're proud of you. It's been kind of rough, but you were a real hero! Thanks for not putting us to shame.

And thanks for securing British dick for her.

ALFRED!!

[ There are not enough Mighty Rolled-Up Newspapers in the world... ]

Comments

[godsavesarcasm]

[He sighs. What is it with girls being more troublesome in some ways? He doesn't know. Rather than think about it too deeply, he leans back against America a little.]

Very well. Though if any of them try anything...

[He's sure Amelia can take care of herself, but it's still good to give that reminder that he's around (and so are a couple of other Englands) and he sure hasn't mellowed when it comes to putting certain people down.]

[statusquodebt]

[ At the implied threat, Alfred bursts out laughing. He clutches England close to his chest and eventually dissolves into ridiculous giggling into his shoulder. He's not laughing because he finds England anything except menacing, but because he's surprised. He didn't think Arthur had it in him to threaten violence for Amelia's sake. He finds it sweet that he still wants to protect her, even if he's never met her. ]

You'll what?

[godsavesarcasm]

[Of course he thinks Alfred is laughing at him and so the look on his face turns quite fierce, hurt and embarrassed, cheeks flushing red. Were he a cat, his fur would have started standing on end by now. And with that, he starts to squirm away, growling,]

Sever their very spines from their backs and use them to beat them bloodier! And if you don't stop laughing this instant you will be joining them!



[And he can do it, damn it all! Many men have fallen because they underestimated him, let it not be forgotten!]

[statusquodebt]

[ The change of demeanor is so sudden that Alfred can't help continuing to grin, even as he tries to keep a hold on his wriggling partner. Miraculously, he doesn't laugh any more, but he's still amused and it's definitely because of how England is acting. ]



You wouldn't do that, because then you'd have to spend forever alone and lonely and you hate that!

[ He clutches England to him more earnestly and hooks his chin on his shoulder. ]

Chill out! I just didn't know you cared that much, 's'all.

[godsavesarcasm]

[Of course wriggling against America doesn't much work out well for England given the younger Nation's strength. Pretty soon he stops, especially when America hooks his chin on his shoulder. Still, though, he eyes him.]

Why wouldn't I care?

[statusquodebt]

Well, because you've never met her, for one.

[godsavesarcasm]

But I do know of her.

[And she's a lady and an America. Hence the threatening.]