dear_mun | Two Americas for the price of one!

(( OOC ; Just so we're clear, black text is

statusquodebt, Hetalia America, and blue text is

unalienable, Nyotalia America. They're both my muses, but I thought to make one post for both of them instead of two for practicality. Either of them may respond to comments, but if you want to thread with a specific muse (including other Hetalia muses if you know them), just put their name in the subject line of your tag. ))

I can't believe you actually drink that disgusting sludge, mun.

[ Alfred and his female counterpart, Amelia, watch with narrowed, unimpressed eyes as their mun gulps down yet another cup of steaming hot black tea, straight, their mouths set into thin, contemptuous lines. Their arms are crossed over their chests while they listen with little sympathy apparently to the excuse the girl gives them. ]

Coffee is hot too, y'know. It makes just as much steam. You could have that. Or chicken noodle soup, like every other normal American does when they're sick.

[ Chicken noodle soup is one of the mun's least favorite foods. She doesn't drink coffee either . Too bitter! ]

Well, at least it doesn't taste like oppression!

[ Alfred nods firmly in obvious agreement with Amelia's statement and pumps a fist that he makes with his right hand a little. Over two and a half centuries have passed and they still take tea way too personally.

Don't you guys have anything better to do? Like tags? ]

No— O-Oh! You've been busy! We figured you weren't... y'know, in a big rush to get them done or anything like that... since you've had work and then being sick and stuff...

What she means is, she wouldn't shut her mouth to let me get a word in, and now she's gone chicken, because flirting with France, and Scotland, and Spain, and Arthur is one thing, but doing that—

[ He means sex, by the way. ]

—with any of them is more complicated.

That's not it!

Yeah, it is! You're a big, fat scaredy-cat.

'Am not!

'Are too.

Alfred!

[ And cue Amelia cutting off Alfred's obnoxious laughter by giving Nantucket a good yank, which prompts him, in turn, to shove her off her chair and onto the floor. She gets up on her knees with an angry growl and makes to tackle him, but the mun intervenes with the Mighty Rolled-Up Newspaper of Damage Control and thwacks them both upside the head with it. They get the message. ]

Okay, fine! Sunday. We'll do them all then since it's your day off.

Anyway, mun, we want to say we're proud of you. It's been kind of rough, but you were a real hero! Thanks for not putting us to shame.

And thanks for securing British dick for her.

ALFRED!!

[ There are not enough Mighty Rolled-Up Newspapers in the world... ]

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[He has words about the tea, but then he supposes if he said them they won't get anywhere useful or good. And so he decides on something else.]

My Mundane also suggests honey with a bit of lemon juice if she can have it.

As for me, I'd like to say the scuffling is very attractive. Yes it is. [All said with bland sarcasm, of course.]

I wasn't talking about—

[ One moment, please, while he ducks to narrowly avoid the swing of a baseball bat aimed at his head. ]

—your English dick!

[ As if he'd speak so flippantly of sharing! Parallel universe self or not... He meant a different dick. Well, 'same one, really, but controlled by a different person. Does that make sense? ]

I know that, dear.

[And yes, it does, of course. He can't recall ever interacting with Amelia, actually. Since Alfred is now closer, he'll take his hand and pull him out of harm's way.]

And I'll have to question Amelia's taste on certain people she's flirting with.

[England is not sure where to start. He's staring at both Americas with a mixture of exasperation and embarrassment.

He has serious reservations about their attitude toward their muns' (no doubt delicious) tea, and even more serious reservations about those other nations Amelia has been flirting with. Scotland is one awful choice, but Spain and France too? He tries to brush away the persistent annoyance he doesn't want to identify at the thought.

And yet it is an altogether different concern that comes out of his mouth first.]

Do you... really have to discuss all that in public?

I can think of better British dick.

[A suggestive eyebrow raise follows. He does realise, of course, that by British dick, Alfred no doubt means English dick. But there's no harm playfully teasing with Amelia in his opinion, and especially not when he can put down his brother in the same sentence.]

[It's been a while since he's spoken with the Americas (or anyone, really), so it's nice to see them both looking all fine and dandy. The subject of dicks just makes him stare for a bit. It's a bit surprising to him still that such things can be spoken about in the presence of a lady in these times.]

I'm glad you're both doing swell...

[The Queen is much more adept at schooling his features into a pleasant expression rather than shock or whatever else that follows a grand show of lack of manners and some vulgarity. He smiles with his usual brightness and a touch of amusement.]

Congratulations on the engagement, Alfred.

Hello, Amelia.

Well...you two are certainly loud. Perhaps you should give drinking the stuff a try.

[ "Who, Wales?" Alfred intentionally responds so as to seemingly miss the joke, but Scotland's cheek illicits the usual candid reaction from Amelia— if only briefly. She blushes, but stands her ground. ]

Shouldn't I be the judge of that?

[He snorts at Alfred's comment, shaking his head, but otherwise avoids sparing the male much attention, turning instead to Amelia and grinning at her question.]

Ye haven't seen 'em both so ye couldn't judge yet, lass.

[Ulster is just gonna be giving Amelia a big thumbs up over there.]

Always knew you had it in you, lass!

[ She manages not to miss a beat. ]

Does yours come with a pretty ribbon tied around it? That doesn't necessarily make it better.

[ Ah, speaking of the allure of Europeans, here's someone who also understands it well!

Predictably, both Amelia and Alfred stop making spectacles of themselves once the Cap makes his presence known. Amelia practically bounces up to him like a little yellow ball of sunshine. ]

Captain! You're alive!

[ And then she pretty much flings herself at him and plants a big kiss on his cheek— mainly because she knows that if she doesn't, Alfred will! It's been a while, all right. Give him a break for his similarly too personal impulses. ]

[ ..."had it in you"...? Gosh, she hopes that double entendre was not intentional. The mun can't stop laughing, meanwhile. ]

Meaning...?

[ The fighting has died down by now, thankfully, so the Americas are able to respond cordially. Alfred grins a little stupidly in reply to the congratulations, as though he still can't believe such a thing is happening to him, while Amelia curtsies respectfully to the queen. She likes him. He's cute and not at all like how she imagined a monarch would be. ]

Hi, Queenie! What's going on?

Having trysts with all those nations and then giving my wee brother a bit of fun. The boy is an eejit when it comes ta love. Good thing ya made the first move. Erin and I sure didn't go wrong with you!

[ Nor can anyone on this side of things remember him meeting Amelia either; of course they know she and the Empire have been... getting pretty close, but England and the British Empire are two very different nations.

In any case, once he's yanked out of the battleground, Alfred puts his hands on the older man's waist and picks him up so he can lift him onto his lap while he takes a seat. Rubbing warmly at England's back, he smiles dopily at him and obviously seems to be holding back the urge to kiss him — a lot. His eyes occasionally wander to Arthur's neck and ear and chest. God, he misses him. ]

It's not her fault. She can't help who she gets tagged by. Flirtatious is just... kinda her default state!

We did! Centuries ago? There was this Tea Act that England made everyone at my house observe? Does that ring any bells?

Well yeah, I'm 'Merican.

So then you know!

[ Or should know! He will straight-up take you to history class if need be. ]

[At that, he laughs.]

Nae a ribbon, nah. Might perform better, though.

[ Amelia isn't really sure what to say there, so Alfred picks up the slack for her. It's easier for him to do so since he's not as, ah, closely involved with Scotland currently. ]

I'm not sure I want to ask why you're so confident about that.

You're sleepin' with Arthur? Arthur, like England-Arthur?

[There's a pause while Wales processes this, staring between each America for a moment before settling on Amelia.]

...I don' reckon much to your taste.

[ Would it help if one of them said that neither of them had seen France in several weeks? It's been at least a couple of months. They actually miss the Frenchman (and their mun misses his mun) but, well, what can you do. These things just happen, sadly. Fortunately for England, it means that there's been no, ah, deepening of the French-American alliance lately. ~~Sob.~~

But back to England's question. ]

Duh! She just ignores us if we don't!

[ But, hey, he's pretty excited to see Arthur, considering how it's been a while, what with Amelia being super-duper talkative and all. He gives England a lopsided grin and rubs the back of his neck a little. ]

Should we talk about our unfinished business instead?

Yep, and I like tea.

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Two Americas for the price of one!

The fiance, of course

Sure, sure~ o7

Thank you~

GIMME BOTH lol Or Amelia.

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Both~

Both or whoever

Both are fine.

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He insisted he deserved a go today. =u=

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