rewatching the series and someone came back

[muddershero]

'Bout gorramn time. You're crazy if you think I'm just waitin' around here forever for the honor of your company. Like I ain't got nothin' better to do.

...

And whoever this guy "Chuck" is, you can ruttin' forget it. Dong ma?

Comments

mun squees JAYNE

[hforhologram]

It's not like there's anything better to do around here.

:D

[muddershero]

Better 'an kickin' around in the dark waitin' for something interesting to happen.

[hforhologram]

Something interesting? Like a squelchy squiggly alien thing attaching to your face? No thank you.

[muddershero]

I don't know nothin' about no squiggly aliens. Sucks where you're at, huh?

[hforhologram]

[Wrong question.] Oh you don't know the half of it. Do you know what it's like trying to run a ship with a bunch of imbeciles? Lister never listens to my orders, he's slobby, he's annoying. HE gets to be alive and I get to be a hologram. There is no justice.

[muddershero]

Yeah, I know a little somethin' about no justice and ships fulla imbeciles. Used to fly in one every gorramn day 'til I got stuck in this weird city where all this crazy yu bun duh stuff happened.

...Did you say "hologram." How's that work?

[hforhologram]

[Rimmer can only suppose that accent is from too much inbreeding.]

How does it work? I'm a computer simulation of me. It's like being on holiday with a bunch of Germans. [holding his hands up] I exist but I can't touch anything.

[muddershero]

[Better not say that aloud while he's wearing his mother's hat. That won't end well.]

I don't know nothin' about "Germans." Sounds like some of that Earth That Was history stuff the Doc talked about. So you're one of them intellectuals I've recently come to appreciate. And you're really alive? In your ship or somethin'?

[hforhologram]

Hold on, Earth That Was?? Is the Earth gone?

No, I'm dead. Deceased. No longer with the living. [And apparently he can still be annoyed while being dead.]

[muddershero]

Gone enough for my liking. I ain't never seen it. It's just stories you learn in history classes and from uppity doctors.

If you're dead, how are we still talkin'? Holograms are just computer programs, right?

[hforhologram]

[frustrated noise] That's not fair, we've been traveling for so long. Lister is going to be heartbroken... [smirky smirk] I'm definitely telling him this when I see him next.

Sim-mu-la-tion of me. [Rimmer must think if he talks slower, Jayne will understand better.] It's a copy of my memories stuffed into a light emitter. The real me was fried in a radiation leak on board ship.

[muddershero]

How long you been travlin' that you don't know nothin' about Earth That Was? It's been gone so long ain't nobody missin' it anymore.

[speak as so as you like. doesn't mean Jayne'll understand techotalk]

Uh-huh. Radiation sounds like a bad way to go.

[hforhologram]

Ohhhh....round about 3 million years.

It reduced me and the crew to small piles of white powder.

[muddershero]

You're just making up that tsway-niou to make me look bad. Do you think I'm an idjit? No way it was 3 million years.

[hforhologram]

[Just this look.] No, I don't think you're an idjit. [Yes, he's making fun of your accent.] And it was 3 million years. The senile computer said so.

[muddershero]

[he hardly registers that as you making fun]

Issat right? Well, looks like you're doin' pretty okay for a 3 million year old decrepit computer simulation. Most of that tech stuff goes to hell just by lookin' at it funny.

[hforhologram]

[crossing his arms] How would you know what hologram is decrepit or not? I could be the pinnacle of human technology itself.

You tend to break things with your face often?

[talkstoengines]

Don't be too excited; sometimes muns bring you out and send you to someplace terrible.

[That's what happened to Kaylee.]

[muddershero]

[sendin' Kaylee someplace terrible is not okay in Jayne's book]

You got someone I need to be havin' words with?

[talkstoengines]

Well there's a fella on this ship that's got your face.

He shaves more often, though.

[muddershero]

Someone else's got my face? An' just when I thought I'd heard everything. He better be gettin' good use out of it, that's fer damn sure.

[talkstoengines]

Well, he seems almost as good with a gun as you, anyway!

[muddershero]

"Almost"? Hell, I ain't sure if I should be happy you know I'm better or disappointed that some guy with my face isn't as good as me.

[talkstoengines]

He's about as prickly as you, too!