Ralph Doesn't Like AU Ideas, but Maybe Going to Ink_City Isn't So Bad

[wreckofaguy]

Look, player, I've seen a lot of you gamers come and go over the years. This is the first time I've really talked to one before. It's against the rules, somebody could think the game is glitching and then we could get unplugged.

I'm making an exception because I don't like the path this new game is going down. As a gig, so far, this hasn't been a bad one. I mean, it's no Fix-It Felix Jr. and I haven't gotten to wreck anything, but over all, it's not the worst it could be.

I feel bad about putting that lady out of work, but, well, you chose me and it's nice to be appreciated.

I'm not feeling too appreciated lately, though. There's been a few fun things, and I did get some cake, but you seem to like directing me into some rather unpleasant situations.

If everything was cheery all the time, life'd be pretty boring, but one of the things you're considering is a permanent change and it's not one I'm liking the sound of. Sure it's awful to have stuff like that happen now and then, but at the end of the day, I get reset and everything's back to normal.

And I'm not talking about that City place, either. That doesn't sound too bad, at least I'd have Vanellope, Felix, and Calhoun to hang out with, it's been pretty lonely without them around.

I'm talking about that account idea, you know the one. Nothing good is going to come of it and if you go through with it, you might wake up one day and find that I've gone Turbo and found a new place to call home.

Is this what it's like for Felix all the time when the players control his movements? I can't say I'm envious of him.
 

Comments

[wreckofaguy]

[Ralph puts his hands up in a classic zombie position.]

Areee youuu sureee abouuuut thaaat?

[On their nightly expeditions around the arcade, he's been doing his best to direct her away from zombie's game. He knew they'd probably end up there eventually, but Ralph was going to do his best to put it off as long as possible.]

[notaglitch]

[She laughs and hops a step back, crouching in a position ready to spring out of the way incase Ralph decides to try and grab her.]

Positive!

[Ooh how she's tried to convince him to let her see his game soon too. From a distance it looks so interesting she can't help BUT want to see what it's like.]

[wreckofaguy]

[Ralph gives out a very Zombie-esque groan and takes a step towards Vanellope when she goes backwards.]

Hooooow'd yoooou liiiiiikee a zombiiieeee Raaaalph?

[So far, he'd come up with all sorts of different things to catch Vanellope's attention away from the zombie game, but she'd probably figure that out soon, if she hadn't already.]

[notaglitch]

[With a snicker she jumps- and actually runs at him- only to slip between his legs and stand behind him instead of in front.]

I don't think I'd like it too much! A bit TOO brainless for my tastes

[wreckofaguy]

[Ralph slowly lumbers around to face Vanellope.]

Yoooou thiiiiinnk soooo?

[With that, he grins and suddenly tries to scoop her up into his massive hands at his normal speed.]

[notaglitch]

Aahh!!

[Vanellope jumps and squeals when he's able to grab her, not expecting for him to turn around and try to pick her up like that.]

YEAH I know so! You've barely got enough brains t'go around in th'first place!

[wreckofaguy]

[Ralph keeps grinning and holds her out at arm's length.]

I wouldn't like being a zombie much either, to tell the truth.

Not only would I be dumber, I'd be smellier, too!

[notaglitch]

[Leaning over to rest her elbows on Ralph's hands, she grins right back.]

Zombie er' not, I don't think you can get any smellier than ya already are.

[wreckofaguy]

[Ralph chuckles.]

I don't know about that, I've got some ideas that'd make me even stinkier!

[notaglitch]

Oh yeah?

[Vanellope seems pretty unconvinced. To HER you're the smelliest person alive Ralph.]

[wreckofaguy]

Yeah!

You haven't been around me right after I've been thrown in the mud, I'm sure I can add some stuff to that to make me even more ripe than I already am.

[There's a good chance that he's the stinkiest in the arcade, but he can get even worse if he wanted to.]

[notaglitch]

Weeell- guess I can't argue with that! Good thing we're friends then, cause I'm prolly the sweetest smellin' person around!

[Ever the modest one, Vanellope is.]

[wreckofaguy]

[Ralph chuckles.]

You counter me out nicely! I guess together we don't smell like anything?

[notaglitch]

That would be nice, wouldn't it?

[wreckofaguy]

It sure would, but as it is, you've gotta put up with my stench enough for everybody.

You got any feeling left in your nose?

[notaglitch]

Sooooortaaa-

[She prods the end of her nose with a finger.]

Don't think I'll be smellin' properly for a week though!

[wreckofaguy]

[Ralph shrugs his shoulders and talks in a mock sad tone. He knows that she won't agree with what he's saying.]

Oh well, I guess that means that we won't be able to hang out for a whole week, maybe even longer if you wanna enjoy your sense of smell for a while.

[notaglitch]

[He was right- quickly she shakes her head no.]

No way smelly-pants- if I can put up with yer' stank for as long as I have already, I don't mind puttin' up with it long enough for us t'keep doin' stuff together!

[wreckofaguy]

[He plops her on his shoulder with a grin.]

Good! Because if you weren't around, my life would go back to being boring.

[notaglitch]

[With a smile she leans an elbow against the side of his head.]

Can't have that now can we?

[wreckofaguy]

Nope! I might even get so bored that I go Turbo!

[notaglitch]

Ah ah ah, what did we say about that?- your player would prolly be really disappointed if you went Turbo, even though I wouldn't mind havin' you come live with me.

[wreckofaguy]

[He puts his hands on his hips.] But if you're avoiding me because I smell, then I can't live in the castle, now can I?

[notaglitch]

Y'bring up a good point...

[She grins.] Would y'rather live in the dungeon then?

[wreckofaguy]

Oh no, I'm not gonna be locked up.

Besides, the stench will probably bubble up and infest the whole castle.