looking for a game maybe?

[howherolls]

 I'm not sure this applies as a good argument for "never giving up", especially since I'm the one you're sending to another game. Again.

I know it's not like it used to be, but I'm content where I am. Haymitch has geese. And I'm not...I'm not going to be hurting anyone where I am. 

I know my opinion's not worth much here, but maybe continuing the break will be a good thing. Here I can still be me, and Katniss isn't...Katniss isn't around to be hurt.

Comments

[shenevermisses]

Yeah.

Free house, free food, free weapons, free training. Some weird... They call it shifts. Messes with your head. Places change, memories are altered. It goes away eventually. And a war. They point us at their enemies, and no one complains too much when they all die.

[That's the easy part to talk about. She shrugs then, like the rest doesn't really matter. Like it's not something new, something... she's starting to get used to. Something she's even starting to like.]

Small space for the most part, a village and area around it. About the size of an arena. Pretty... normal life there, until they need fighters. But everyone there's on the same side when they fight. Real alliances. Not the temporary ones in the Games. Not yet.

[Something like "friends.]

Not too bad. Something to do, at least.

[howherolls]

[ his hands still, and it was impossible for him not to focus on the first part ]

It doesn't go away. Not if...not if that's what they're really doing. At least not forever.

[ he shakes his head ]

It's not free. If they're making you kill anyone, it's not free.

[shenevermisses]

They don't make you kill.

[She's had this conversation with Twelve.]

They'll make you go. Drag you to the fight. But once people are there? Plenty of non-combatants. Medics, people who deal with supplies. All sorts of people who never touch a weapon. Who don't have to kill anyone.

[Clove? Kills. What else has she ever been good for? She was raised to kill, trained to kill. She was taught to love it, for she would have nothing else.

But now. In this place. Under these Gamemakers. She has the choice.

Now, when she kills, it's because she's chosen to take up her knives.]

[howherolls]

[ he's not entirely convinced of that, but this place sounds...if not interesting, at least confusing ]

Do you even know why they're fighting? Or who they're fighting? If they have medics... [ having medics implies that this place cares enough about their soldiers to keep them living a little while longer. Peeta wasn't a part of District Thirteen's army for long, but it was time enough to see that the squads never had a field medic assigned to them ]

[shenevermisses]

They're fighting the Third Party. Death... doesn't work right there. You always come back. Something missing, but you come back. The Third Party wants to stop that cycle. Kill everyone. The Malnosso...

They're trying to send us home. Or maybe just protect us. Those of us who can't go home. Lots of others there died where they're from, too.

[She shrugs a little. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. Or at least that's what she'll keep telling herself.]

They brought me there. Gave me a fight. Gave me Cato, too.

Twelve's right, I'll give her that. We're pawns in their Game. But it's better odds than the Hunger Games, at least.

[howherolls]

Odds haven't been in anyone's favor for a long time.

[ he starts to rub his hands again, staring down at them. mentally he's counting. it's easy to rely on numbers when things aren't making sense. aren't Real ]

That's not possible. [ he frowns, his thumbs move over each other ] Why would the...Third Party want to kill anyone when it doesn't have to? How can you go home when...

[ he closes his eyes tight. Not Real. ]

Katniss is there?

[shenevermisses]

I can't go home. That's why I fight -- to make sure they know I'm useful. If the Malnosso need me, maybe they'll let me stay if they figure out how to send us home.

[It's selfish. But it's survival.]

Yeah. She is. Lots of forest area there, so she hunts quite a bit.