looking for a game maybe?

[howherolls]

 I'm not sure this applies as a good argument for "never giving up", especially since I'm the one you're sending to another game. Again.

I know it's not like it used to be, but I'm content where I am. Haymitch has geese. And I'm not...I'm not going to be hurting anyone where I am. 

I know my opinion's not worth much here, but maybe continuing the break will be a good thing. Here I can still be me, and Katniss isn't...Katniss isn't around to be hurt.

Comments

[howherolls]

I can't really be around people, either. [ he offers a small smile ] Turns out my social skills need some work.

[effective]

I'm not just people.

[howherolls]

No. You never were. But I can't risk going somewhere and...not being myself. You remember what happened last time, in Exsilium. I wanted to kill you. I can't- [ his voice breaks, a little ] I can't want to kill you anymore.

[effective]

But you didn't. You were getting better. We were--

[She cuts herself off, looking away. If he's in this sort of mood, she doesn't want to bring up Them. Doesn't want to bring up how good it had felt to have his arms around her, to kiss him, to tell him...

She doesn't want to bring it up]

[howherolls]

Until they wanted me to not get better. [ he closes his eyes ]

I love you, Katniss.

Anywhere we go, they'll find that out and use it against us. I'll hurt you again. When they made us believe we were in the games, it only took a second for them to make me think you were trying to kill me. Anywhere we go it can happen again.

[ he squeezes his hands into fists so hard the knuckles crack ]

I want...to go home, Katniss. I want us both to go home.

[effective]

[She squeezes her eyes shut when he says that, I love you, and she can't help it. The idea doesn't make her want to run any more. It makes her want to do exactly what she does next, which is step forward and clench her hands in his shirt, pressing her face into his chest]

I want that too. I do. But if they're taking us places - I don't want to go to some strange world where I don't know if you're okay, or what's happening to you. And I don't want you to be without - if I'm not with you, they can still mess with your memories. Do things to you. At least if I'm there I can prove that they're wrong.