(no subject)

[sunflowering]

Don't. I know what you are thinking. You've always just done whatever it is that you want, but this time I can't sit quietly. After your initial reaction I didn't think I'd have to worry, but...

I'm happy in that place together. What I've done at home is out of necessity, but don't interrupt my remaining happiness there. If that is truly our last journey together, then I want it to be a happy one. Stop trying to have him go home, only to forget or realize.

And no more. You don't need to send me alone anywhere again. Let things remain as they are, why don't you? That's all I'm asking.

I just...want to be happy for a little while longer.

Comments

[sunflowering]

'Even if you hate me'... [A short, cheerless yet ironic, laugh]

... I'm the one who is supposed to say that.

[bloodyrose]

. . . I don't want to move from where we're at —where we've been for the past year and a half.

[he sinks down against the wall, arms moving around his knees as he bows his head. Quiet.]

I don't care if that makes me selfish, or a coward.

[sunflowering]

[Don't do that...

She turns away so he can't see her face, drawing a shaky breath. If he brings all of that up it's only going to make it harder. She has to remain strong.]

It...It's been a lot of fun, right?

[Swallowing]

You made me feel happy again.

[bloodyrose]

You have, too.

[Still he's quiet. His heart aching as it beats heavily between his ears.]

. . . and you've made me feel wanted.

[sunflowering]

[Turning around, her head shakes as she crosses to him at that. Her hands reach out to cup his head as she kneels down.]

You have always been wanted, Zero. Always.

[bloodyrose]

Though I've never deserved it.

[The reply is barely audible. Without another word he lifts his hands to cover hers, fingers slipping between her smaller, more delicate ones. Secure, warm.]

Yet Yuuki has always been there, regardless.

[sunflowering]

[A watery smile]

Somewhere along the line you fell into the mindset that you didn't. [She shakes her head] but it's not true.

[Maybe it's because of how both he and Ichiru were born. But in the end isn't that wrong, too? No one can help how they were born. And it has never made someone less deserving of life.]

I don't know anyone more deserving than you. Ichiru-kun said it too, didn't he? You're a kind person, Zero.

[bloodyrose]

[He gets what she's saying, but at the same time, he feels Ichiru is/was more deserving. Zero took just about everything from his twin, didn't he?

And yet. . . ]

You're the one who's made me even more so.

[There's a frown tugging at his expression, but he still draws Yuuki in closer, needing to wrap his arms around her.]

I'm beyond lucky to have you.

[sunflowering]

I-- [Licking her lips]

I know things are going to change. But... [Choking down the heavy lump in her throat]

It's okay to have you for a little while longer, isn't it?

[bloodyrose]

[That's all it takes.]

Yuuki. . .

[Shifting to cross his legs, Zero gently pulls her into his arms, a hand going to cradle the back of her head, fingers slipping through soft, chocolaty strands. Buries his face into the crook of her neck, words murmured.]

For as long as we're possibly able to.

[sunflowering]

[Nods, head shifting against him. It's this that she doesn't want to end. Arms lifting to wrap around his neck she holds him close, lips brushing his ear in a whisper.]

I'm sorry...

[bloodyrose]

[(Don't apologize). Not like that. Not now.

All he can do is gently stroke her back while holding her even closer, breathe her in as his eyes close, pray for his heart to calm in its racing, and hope she will not disappear.]