dear_mun | On discovering another (possible) muse in mun's head

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On discovering another (possible) muse in mun's head

No.

Absolutely not.

This is not acceptable.

Beat him into NPC-ness, find someone to give him to, find someone who already has one. But under no circumstances am I going to share headspace with Sebastian Moran.

I know what happens to muses when you start doubling up on roles, even in private lines.

I don't care how attractive he is. Get him out.

-SH

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Aren't we bothered, Mr. Holmes.

[Laughing so hard at you right now, Sherlock.]

I'd ask you to save me from the mun's cruel machinations, but the fact of the matter is, you'd help her find a way to make this even more aggravating.

[Judging the merits of committing a homicide of convenience.]

Besides, there are at least two major obstacles between her and her nebulous plot to ship a rare pairing. One of them is named John Watson. I merely have to hold the line and wait for Captain Not-Actually-Gay to rescue me.

[Work smarter, not harder.]

I specialize in 'humiliating', Mr. Holmes. 'Aggravating' is just a sideline.

[She smirks.]

So you're reducing yourself to playing damsel in distress and waiting for a rescue by the good doctor? Not very impressive for a consulting detective, is it?

I hardly need to impress you, do I? [He remembers all too well what happened the last time he tried that, and daredevil rescues notwithstanding, it still stings to know he was outplayed.] And I'd rather not escalate the situation by causing more of a stir than I already have. The mun delights in tormenting me and she has a history of inflicting trauma out of spite.

The possibility of premeditated murder still stands, of course. But I'd rather not resort to that unless there's no other choice.

I didn't say anything about needing now did I? Just pointing out that waiting for rescue isn't impressive.

[She knows what you like, Sherlock. Don't forget that. You like being impressive.]

Don't tell me you're afraid of getting caught for murder.

[He smirks at that. Little does she know how many murders he's gotten away with recently.]

The key to getting away with murder is to keep your mouth shut about it. Some days it's more of a challenge than others.

I'll keep that in mind. Looking to give the consulting criminal some competition?

Actually, I'm looking for someone who's interested in the job. There are such good prospects in that field, but it's really not my area. Committing crimes is boring; there's hardly any challenge in it. [Solving them, on the other hand...]

Flattered, old chap, but I'm afraid it was simply never meant to be. Different persuasions, you and I, but far be it from me to judge a proper sodomite.

[He rolls his eyes.] I assure you, any sodomy on my part would be entirely the fault of the sexually frustrated idiot I'm forced to call a mun. She refuses to believe that I'm not interested in such things.

Let's not pin this on her, chum. While your affections are much appreciated, I suggest you turn them to someone else. I don't find your razor-sharp cheekbones attractive in the least.