abaxcity

[gleans]

I guess putting me out of my misery and knocking me out for the next couple days counts as a birthday present. Thanks for that.

- Galen

Comments

[bbinatrenchcoat]

How so?

[gleans]

Cuz it's better than the alternative? I was up for three days and hallucinating, so hey, if I get some reprieve on my birthday, I'm cool with that.

[sircassidy]

GALEN. I'M MAKING CHRIS MAKE YOU A CAKE. IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY. YOU SHOULD HAVE CAKE STUFF.

[gleans]

BUT WHAT IF HE GETS HIS CAKEFACE IN MY CAKE?

[sircassidy]

He can't bake grumpy cakeface into a cake. That's just not possible. He has no Like Water For Chocolate powers.

[gleans]

If you're sure. Cuz I'd fuckin' love a birthday cake made by Chefstopher.

[sircassidy]

Totez sure. It's just cake, not Empatheticstopher cake. If that was a thing, I'd maybe give up baked goods for life.

[gleans]

As far as shitty powers go, that'd be a really shitty power.

[bbinatrenchcoat]

Hallucinations is when the mind becomes psychotic.

Do you suffer mental illnesses?

hijacking i can't resist I'M SORRY

[brolociraptor]

Yes. He does.

All of them.

[gleans]

[ ... Pffffffft. ]

Nah, man. For one thing, I was like, fuckin' inundated with fear gas at the time, and on top of that I hadn't slept in three days.

[gleans]

I got ninety-nine mental problems and you are all of them.

[brolociraptor]

That's what happens when you give me a baseball bat instead of a samurai sword, motherfucker.

Also dude, happy birthday, I got you the present of my eternal friendship, enjoy.

[gleans]

Hey, quit blaming me for that, man. That was all you.

You got me that last year. And the year before. Lame.

[brolociraptor]

YOU CAN ALSO HAVE MY ETERNAL LOVE AND DEDICATION IF YOU'D LIKE, MY LOVE

I GOT YOU FLOWERS, I HOPE YOU LIKE THEM OR WHATEVER

[gleans]

UP-GRAAAAAAADE.

Seriously though - [ DONKS ] - you're gonna scare off the nice angel.

[brolociraptor]

[ DUCKS, still gets hit, flails ] Dude what, angel?

...

Awesome do you have wings can I see them PLEASE? [ seriously, hit him again. ]

[gleans]

[ :| He WILL. DONK. ] I was talking about Trenchcoat, asswipe.

[brolociraptor]

[ cackle ] Yeah yeah.

-- Wait, hallucinations? [ frysquint ]

[gleans]

[ ... BAD JOKE EELFACE. Then -- er. ]

Yeah, that's... over now.

[brolociraptor]

Uh... huh. Yeah, see, I don't believe you.

[ pause ] ... Dude but seriously, c'mon. You alright?

[gleans]

I'm fine now, man. Promise. At this rate, I'll be 100% by the time you get there. There was just some, like... uh. Fear gas shit.

[brolociraptor]

... Yeah, alright. [ HE'S WATCHING YOU ] Don't die or get possessed or what the fuck ever before I get to gaze into your sparkling blue orbs again.

I am so serenading you with the Biebs when I get there.

[gleans]

My sparkling orbs are hazel. You lose.

[brolociraptor]

I WAS BEING IRONIC OKAY

Also you're a fucking liar, this fanfic right here says your eyes are blue.

[gleans]

What're you even gonna do without your fanfic stash?

[brolociraptor]

[brolociraptor]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[gleans]

Wwwwwwwelp.

[sircassidy]

Yeah, I don't know who has that power. Maybe Courtney's sparklepire, if he baked shit. But he doesn't. And probably not, anyway.