Considering jarjammed, when their apps open again

[unbuyable_wish]

There is no need to remind me that it's a slim chance. Have I not fought for less?

If there is any possibility of fulfilling my wish, then I command you. Take me there. Do not deny me that opportunity.

-King Ashura of Shura Country

Comments

[crueldragonsthesis]

And what is that wish?

[unbuyable_wish]

To undo a mistake.

[crueldragonsthesis]

Are you sure it's a mistake you can undo? If it's one you're fated to make, that would be futile.

[unbuyable_wish]

If it was fate, then I would seek to challenge fate.

[crueldragonsthesis]

Death is one of the milder consequences to challenging fate. You should know that, then do it anyway.

[unbuyable_wish]

What is there to fear in death?

[Ashura has long since lost the notion of dying as the worst of all possible consequences. It would be better to die than to give up hir true wish without all the fight that's possible.]

[crueldragonsthesis]

Little. It's in not dying but suffering other consequences of defying fate that there's fear in.

[unbuyable_wish]

Fate has played its hand already. It has little left to take from me.

[yashaou]

[Is that a smile?

No, probably not, Yasha hasn't smiled in forever. But since it's Ashura, it's fairly close to being one.

Ah well.]

[unbuyable_wish]

[Ashura's eyes go wide, and for a second, the guilt and self-recrimination are painfully obvious in hir expression.]

[What do you even say? They don't make "sorry I accidentally killed you" cards. Though since it's a CLAMP universe, it might be a sensible business move.]

Yasha-ou...

[yashaou]

[Someone in the CLAMPverse would make a fortune. Or something.]

[He knew that look, might have worn it himself a few times. But for now, he just gives Ashura a light hair-pet.]

Ashura...

[unbuyable_wish]

[Ashura melts at the little gesture, drawing closer, winding long, thin fingers into the front of Yasha's robe and trying not to just fall apart.]

...I... I'm so sorry....

[The words aren't enough, can never be enough, but even they will barely come out.]

[yashaou]

[At least Ashura isn't running away... He's going to pull the other against him, holding Ashura in case he needs a shoulder to cry into.]

You're forgiven.

[Not that Yasha would ever blame him for anything, he never had before.]

[unbuyable_wish]

[Ashura does need a shoulder to cry into, possibly more than anything else in the world right now.]

[But this is TRC!Ashura, who has spent a lifetime maintaining an appearance of strength and dignity, who hasn't had a shoulder to cry on, and sie just... doesn't even know what to do with it.]

[...Clinging to Yasha. Clinging to Yasha sounds like a good start.]

How can you forgive me so easily? I... It's my fault you...

[yashaou]

[And there will be more hair petting, so cling away.]

Go ahead, say it.

[unbuyable_wish]

[Ashura looks up at him, then away again, unable to keep meeting his eyes.]

...I killed you.

[Or. Some versions of you, anyway.]

[yashaou]

[Sighs and smiles just a tiny bit, and might just hold him a little more firmly.]

It has always been the roll of Ashura to kill Yasha, and Yasha was born to be killed by Ashura. I chose to accept that, so I forgive you.

[unbuyable_wish]

[Ashura's face gets buried against Yasha's shoulder, and sie'd rather die than let go right now.]

I didn't mean to. I didn't want to!

[yashaou]

[Traces his fingers along the edge of one ear softly.]

I know. Which is why I forgive you. I always will.

[unbuyable_wish]

[And Ashura doesn't know what to do with a shoulder to cry into, but as it turns out, when the opportunity presents itself, it just kind of happens on its own.]

[yashaou]

[Yasha makes a good, big shoulder. And it makes him happy.]

[unbuyable_wish]

[Yeah, Yasha has enough shoulder for everybody. Give Ashura a minute to let it all out, here.]

...If I went to this new world, would you follow me there?

[Any chance at all is enough for Ashura to take, honestly.]

[yashaou]

[After a long pause, he shakes his head slightly.]

My mundane has been looking at some sort of space ship, or a place where people turn into weapons... But not until January.

The place you mention doesn't make much sense to her.

[unbuyable_wish]

Then I will make it my aim to go there.

[Mundane's plans? Ashura just straight doesn't care about those. The top priority, obviously, is finding some way to be near Yasha. And for him to not be dead. If you're willing to defy fate and the natural order for someone, a mun is just one more challenge. And time--time is nothing.]

[yashaou]

[Somehow, he's surprised and not surprised at the same time, mun is totally feeling warm squishies.]

Are you sure? It may not be pleasant... And you'll have to convince your mun...

[unbuyable_wish]

[Ashura laughs a little bit, and smiles with a king's confidence.]

I care little if it's difficult. And I will convince her.

[yashaou]

[Nuzzles into Ashura's hair.]

You never were one to care if the path was difficult.

[unbuyable_wish]

[Ashura nuzzles his shoulder in return, still holding on just as tight as possible.]

It doesn't matter, as long as Yasha-ou is there...