(no subject)

[shilowallace]

You know what's funny? I sort of wish you would stop mentioning it as much as you do! It used to define me, but...how do I get better if I let my whole life revolve around it? Telling stories like that works for some people, I know, but...not for me. I just...want to get better and to move on and forget I was ever anything but happy and healthy. Can't I?

Comments

[smalltowncop]

That's an excellent plan. [Soft southern drawl and a serious look] Never be anythin' but happy.

[shilowallace]

I'm not very good at it. Is it working, for you?

[smalltowncop]

[Short answer: ...no.

Long answer: ...fuck no.]

Ever 'ear the expression "glass half full?"

[shilowallace]

[She nods.]

Pessimism versus optimism, right? If you say that, then you think everything's great or whatever.

[smalltowncop]

[Something about this girl reminds him of Glen.]

'm a glass half full kind of guy. Even when things are down and...the world's pretty awful we don't have time for kid stuff where 'm from.

[His best friend, his wife...but at least he has carl. In the long run.]

[shilowallace]

[She hesitates. Doesn't want to offend.]

I don't think I'm either. I mean, it's just a glass and you either see things for what they are or you don't. I didn't, for a long time.

[smalltowncop]

...that's an awfully sad outlook. [Do you have zombies too Shilo?]

[shilowallace]

[Shakes her head.] I don't...really feel sad, about it. I mean, I'm sad that things are what they are. But...I'd rather know than not.

[Zombies? No, but all the scalpel sluts and junkies might as well be!]

[markhoffman]

If your writer has a problem with it kid, you can send her to me. You deserve the chance to cherish your life.

[shilowallace]

She doesn't have a problem, she's just. She gets upset, sometimes, when people don't understand. And to make them understand, there's a lot of stuff people have to know. It's just...all stuff I don't like being reminded of.

[markhoffman]

[considering] did you ever see the movie men in black?

[shilowallace]

No. Is it about Johnny Cash?

[GraveRobber taught her all about Johnny Cash. He sings cowboy and jail songs.]

[markhoffman]

No. It should be. He's a great guy. [Graverobber has the best taste in Hoffman's book] It's kind of...it's a dumb fucking premise in any other line of thought. It's about these guys who police aliens on earth. One of them has this line "A person is smart, people are dumb, stupid, panicky animals."

...It's worth thinking about. Because most of the time it's true but there are occasions where it's not.

[shilowallace]

I guess I've probably known more dumb persons, then, than most people normally ought to.

[markhoffman]

well, if they come in groups chances are that's where the people aspect applies.

[shilowallace]

...I sort of guess the Largos are a group, yeah.

Oh God, it's been so long since I've pulled her out

[blind_diva]

I think that's a wonderful idea, dear. Live your life and seek your happiness.

omg, maaaag! ♥

[shilowallace]

Chase the morning, right? [Shilo smiles.] I learned that from you. And I'm trying, I promise.

[blind_diva]

That's right. Don't let me hear that you've fallen into old habits...your time of being a sheltered rose is over.

[shilowallace]

Never! I mean. Mostly never. I mean, I'm still trying. But sometimes. I don't know. It's...hard to leave the house. Kind of stupid, right?

[filthyworld]

No one's truly happy or healthy, hate to break it to you.

[shilowallace]

Well, I bet they're happier than I am. Or, well. I guess maybe, at least, healthier.

[filthyworld]

The world's always going to be filled with shit. Doesn't matter where or who you are. No point in being healthy when the universe is out to get you anyway.

DUCK AND COVER

[assassinmurderermonster]

Every good patient should want to get healthy again.

[shilowallace]

[Eeep. Shilo likes to think she's making some progress, but she usually doesn't count on this, anymore. She shrinks back, a little. And her resolve's a little waver-y.]

Some patients aren't given that option.

[catnipped]

Sometimes they won't let you.

[shilowallace]

But you still have to try, don't you?

[catnipped]

Maybe. If it works.

[shilowallace]

...What if it doesn't work?

[catnipped]

Then they're going to keep bothering you about it.

[shilowallace]

...Yeah. I guess that's sort of one of the reasons I've been...hiding.

[catnipped]

Well, at least one of us is smart.

[shilowallace]

Is that what it is, smart? I kind of thought it was just a little...I don't know, stupid. Or cowardly.

shhh a month late? perish the thought!

[graverobs]

Sounds like I don't need to shake your tree anymore, little bird.

all thoughts good and perished! :)

[shilowallace]

Maybe...just a little shake. So I don't forget that I know how to fly.

♥

[graverobs]

Just a little one? Maybe a nudge, then. Your wings are lookin' good.

♥!

[shilowallace]

Every little bit helps. Especially when they could use the stretch and the excuse.

[graverobs]

Oh? I figured you'd never stop flying once you got the hang of it.

[shilowallace]

I get scared, sometimes. You know. Sort of a...stop in mid-flight because ohmygod I'm free kind of thing? ...I guess you probably wouldn't know. You're better than all that.

[graverobs]

Let me tell you a little secret, kid: only the stupid don't get scared. And in this world [ a vague gesture to, well, everywhere. ] the stupid don't last very long at all.

[shilowallace]

That's a funny way of looking at it. But...I think I get what you mean. It's sort of a city full of stupid people, isn't it?

[graverobs]

Stupid people with stupid surgeries. You have a leg up on them, kid.

[shilowallace]

No surgical scars and sort of a lifetime pardon from Repo Man interference. I wonder if that's null and void, now, though, without my father. [Shruuug.] Not that it matters, what with this no surgery thing I'm pretty confident about sticking with.

[graverobs]

If I didn't know better, I'd say you sound kind of bored.

[shilowallace]

Bored? Oh, gosh, no! I still haven't even seen my whole house, yet! [That's her own fault, always skirting around the basement...] And there's so much cemetery to explore, so many bugs to make friends with.

I mean. There's a lot wrong with me, but it's nothing I can't fix on my own. I've sort of had enough of addictions, anyway.

[graverobs]

You haven't seen your whole house yet? Kid, that has to change. You aren't going to get anywhere if you don't flap those wings of yours.

But I like it, this spark of yours that just keeps getting bolder. I'm impressed.

[shilowallace]

I've been through most of it. Just...well. [Her shoulders slump.] I know there's no excuse.

[Perks up!] You are?

[graverobs]

[ she gets a little nudge for that slump. he's not liking it very much, go figure. ] Nothing like a little adventure, kid.

You bet.

[shilowallace]

[And, in turn, he gets a little face and a nudge back. She could argue with that, since her last (and first) adventure nearly killed her, but...] Well. When you put it like that.

[The smile sneaks up on her.] I guess i could get used to being a bold adventurer...eventually.