dear_mun | Voice-Testing, on the way to asgardeventide and/or exsilium

Why are you going there when you could come to me?

And why are you there when you could be with me? I'm the driver, Doctor, didn't I tell you? You go where you need, not where you want, parking break and all.

Tight little streets, constant city bathing, and they'll shape me into something even more uncomfortable if I go there - what is it? Aah...? You're the name-keeper, I'm the driver. Being a bit more myself, that's what I like. Don't you like me more myself? [ Here she whistles her characteristic sound, vworp, vworp! ]

Shall I come pick you up?

Edited 2012-11-05 19:11 (UTC)

[ ...well. ]

You have a point.

[ He sniffs, quietly, and adjust his jacket. ]

I. Don't know. I can't say I want to leave yet, but I don't like not having you there.

[ The TARDIS -Idris, she'll allow herself to be called now- bats her eyelashes knowingly. Of course, silly Time Lord, she has a point. She's always right, how dare you doubt her. ]

They're there, aren't they? The newish ones, new for you. The attractive one and the one with the hair. That's it, isn't it?

[ She sweeps closer, dragging the train of her dress. She doesn't mind his personal space, doesn't think twice about reaching out to caress his face with the back of her hand. Her lips press in what is half a pout and half pure sympathy, understanding, forlorn desire for her dearest friend. ]

There'll be consequence to splitting me, although I do like them. And I want all my Thieves, every one of you.

[ She's saying she can be convinced; she wouldn't abandon him by choice. Never never never. ]

Them, and... Rose, and someone from my future. Oswin. Do you know her?

[ Someone else he couldn't save.

And, with a bit of a smile, he adds: ]

There's two of me there too.

The Bad Wolf. Naughty, naughty girl. Oswin, Oswin... [ She closes her eyes briefly, trying to focus, trying to remember. So many faces, so many names. ] Cold, very chilly?

[ Of course she's distracted by his statement of two. Her eyes light up, and she pinches his cheek with a delighted little squeal. ]

Two! Two and two!

[ Clapping her hands together. ] Wonderful!

Strange, though, paradoxical, nearly impossible, highly highly improbable, even for us, isn't it?

How wonderful.

[ kasjfhdsg he nudges her hand away. ]

Oi! Careful with that.

[ It's not biting, but. He's grinning, though - the excitement is contagious. ]

Used to be three, I've been told. Ninth, tenth and me. Now it's just me and tenth.

[ That one's Complicated. Lots of hatred they refuse to deal with. ]

[ She just giggles, closed-mouth and wholly unapologetic. She's so happy to see him, so happy at the thought of seeing them all again, and at the same time, physically! ]

Oh well, you come and go, always.

[ She rocks on her heels. Even if she can sense his mood changing, it's still hard to beat away her glee. ]

Fine, fine fine fine. It's hard to say no to you, Thief. Another adventure! And it shall not be the last! No, not if I've got my say.

Edited 2012-11-05 19:44 (UTC)

[ BRIGHTENS so, so much. ]

Really? I mean, obviously you can't say no to me, but, truly?

[ She positively beams in turn. She's glowing! No, literally, she's glowing a bit, particles of gold lacing beneath her skin and within her scleras.

But she reaches out and gives him a smack across the face. Not hard, mind you, just a love-tap. ]

I lied a bit. Of course I can say no to you. I could always say no to you. But I didn't and I won't. Not now.

You call, I come. [ She points up into the air as if illustrating the point: check the new title, dearest. ]

You'll take good care of me, like mostly you do and have. And you'll work on rebuilding me, so we'll stay as long as you like, but then we can all fly away together, when you like.

[ Best plan. She's decided. ]

[ All the happy flailing. The very happiest. ]

Yes. As we always have.

[ Heads-up, Sexy, you're getting a good kiss on the top of your head. This is the most exciting! ]

[ She coos at the bit of affection, stepping close to lay her head adoringly against his shoulder for a moment. ]

Hopefully it's not dreadfully long. I get itches in this thing and I'll be sad not being like I'm supposed to. That's alright for a little while, though, isn't it? You still want me.

[ Oh, she can stay right there if she wants to, that feels very nice. And, oh, she has nice hair, he'll just. Pet it. ]

Of course I do. In any shape or form, I always want you.

I see the Doctor has already recruited you for Asgard. What fun! Perhaps we can arrive at the same time and give him a good shock, what do you think?

[Hullo human-TARDIS-mum]

I like you mostly, yes, I think so. You won't leave my brakes on.

[ Hullo hullo, River-darling-daughter-sister! ]

I've told him about leaving the brakes on, but you know how he likes that noise you make.

Yes and you mustn't give out spoilers either. If you're going to know the past, present, and future.

[ She makes this noise like anyone else would whistle - vworp, vworp, and grins a little. ]

Does he not know? How much does he not know? I get it confused sometimes, I might need your help.

And this - this! [ She mashes her own face between her hands, rolls them up to tug at her wild hair. ] This body wasn't made permanent, wasn't meant to be permanent before and I'm stuck! What'll I do with it? Poor girl, poor young soul, didn't leave me much when she left.

Madness is always good, isn't it?

It depends what sort it is. Yours is the killing kind. I don't much like that at all.

But I never chose it.

. . . I'm sorry that what I did hurt you.

Are you speaking of the time where you jimmy-jammed me up against your TARDIS? Has that happened yet? Anyway, yes, it was very rude. We were both very cross with you, if I remember right.

[ She's gotten herself into a bit of a fluff, chastising him. ]

I've half the mind to give you a slap, you awful boy. Actually, I think I shall. Come here. If you're truly sorry, you'll come right here!

[ She stomps her foot -onetwothree- and points to the ground before her. Come, Master, come and get your punishment! ]

I meant the Paradox Machine, mostly.

*He shuffles over, like a small boy caught stealing from the cookie jar.* I never asked to be this, you know. It just sort of . . . happened, while I wasn't looking. And by the time people started to notice it was already too late. By the time I started to notice it had been too late for centuries.

*And he sits down by her feet, looking so lost.* Is the Doctor around here anywhere? I miss him.

Oh. That. More than once, shame on you!

[ And as he comes into her space, she gives him a harsh yank on the ear and a smart, stinging swat across the cheek. She's angry, but it won't last too long.

He's one of the two left. He and her Doctor, they're much like brothers in a way, aren't they? ]

If you know you've got a problem, you know you can work on doing right! Denial is the first step to overcome!

You were bad, Master. You deserve a punishment.

[ And now that's she's had her fluff, she huffs a little and crosses her arms, staring down at him like the disapproving mother she more or less is. Her anger fizzles. It's not gone for good, but her emotions, especially the negative ones, go in phases. ]

Yes, he's about. Of course you miss him - he's quite cross with you, like I'm cross with you! Part of my cross is his cross, you understand.

I am fighting it, now that I know what it is. I haven't tried to take over anywhere in ages, and I'm mostly killing other 'bad guys.'

I'm starving, lonely and headachey. How is that not punishment enough?

Even though I saved his life?

[ She frowns, tapping her foot. She wants to be angry, of course, but... Oh, poor boy. The childhood friend of her boy. And yes, he is so troublesome, but she and the Doctor, they've always believed in second chances. The Master's not all bad, she knows that...

For now, her tone does soften a little. ]

Compared to all the lives you took and destroyed? Master, are you really really asking such a thing?

It's what you call... complicated.

[ She sighs a little, closing her eyes for a moment. Calm immediately washes over her. She is a sentient machine centuries old, trapped in this tiny little body that's not bigger on the inside. And she is wise. ]

All things change with time not skipped. You'll change. He'll change. Time is what you both need.

[ And in the end, Idris slowly stretches out her hand, ghosting her fingertips over the top of his blonde head. ]

Not all of them. But you and I--can we be even? You ate me up once, in a way. Just as I 'ate' you to make my paradox.

It may be a very long time, yet. But I am doing my best, for what little that is worth.

*He leans into the touch like a cat, closing his eyes and smiling.* Thank you for caring, old girl.

. . . I set your sister free, you know; so she wouldn't have to wait in the dark for me, alone. She was too good to me for me to force her to wait for rescue that might never come, so I stranded myself instead. I told her everything would be alrght, even though I didn't think it would, and waved goodbye, and watched her leave. And then I forgot myself and no longer had anything to morn.

[ There's a brief shudder. ]

Oh. No. Master, no talk of 'eating', if you please. Something's just... too fresh on that.

[ They didn't know what they were doing, reviving him. He's not what he once was. He's different. It's strange and she doesn't want to reach out to that mind. He stole her once, overpowered her and used her against her Doctor. She's furious at him for that. There's something the matter with him, strings projecting off of him in wisps in her mind's eye. So Idris lets herself tentatively open, on the psychic level, if only to be sure the Master isn't telling a fib. ]

How... how horrid. Forcing her to go. Her going. A TARDIS must have a Time Lord, or else what is it? Dying. Slowly, but dying.

[ There is a genuine worry in her voice. The Doctor has left her, many times, for a very long while and it bothered her. For him to tell her to go... No, she can't bare to think on it. The Doctor needs her. Where's her anger? She wants that instead.

Ah! There it is! ]

Why didn't you heal yourself, Master? You had the chance. Why didn't you? For spite and to see the Doctor sad. What have you to say for that?

I'm trying to find her again. And I didn't force her--just offered her the chance to survive without me. *He shudders as well.* I didn't think I'd ever be rescued, and I didn't want her to die with me.

What makes you think I did have a chance, dear? *He smiles weakly.* They only gave me half a cycle when they revived me, to keep me 'under control,' and I lost four bodies in the fighting. Why do you think I had a backup plan? Because I needed one, I was out of lives.

I would've told him, but--well, my own wife had shot me, and it was so nice to see someone cry instead of cheering. No one else cared, and if he'd known I was dying no matter what he might not have cared as much either.

[ 'Dear' here gets her shuffling uncertainly, bristling bits of suspicion. He's a clever one, always so very clever. It's how he had her the last time. She's very suspicious and afraid he's trying to trick her again. ]

The Doctor cares. That's the difference between he and you. [ Factually. ] And they'd had good reason to cheer. You were horrible. Absolutely horrible. You use and lie and kill seemingly with no thought in your heads. And it's sad because there's lots in your fuddyduddy head.

I'm sorry they put the drums in, though. I really am...

Perhaps it's for the best you're grounded for now. Maybe she's waiting 'round for you to get better.

I try to care, it just hurts so much. *He whimpers a bit, now.* And it still hurts, people cheering when you die.

Me too. I wasn't supposed to be like this, I was supposed to have a family, and be friends with Thete, and be happy. *Another little whimper.* My son is the Could've-Been King, did you know that? The very last person the Time War erased from history and the very first Time Lord lost, all at once.

Oh, I hope so. A long wait, but then she could always take a shortcut.

It's supposed to hurt, silly. Caring is hard, and brave, and painful. Just like being alive, almost.

But oh, please, Koschei, hush hush, no more of that noise. Please, I'm sorry, but it's like the sound for stepping on an Adipose baby. You'd have had a family and deserved one, if not for all the mess you've made.

[ She scritches at his scalp before she drifts back and away from the Time Lord, clutching herself loosely. ]

Let's not speak of the ones left behind. Your TARDIS shall return exactly when she's meant. I knew her. We had a good chat stacked inside one another. You were cruel to her. Still, you were hers, and if you're meant to have her, she'll return to you when you need her, not when you want her.

I didn't make myself like this. The drums made me, and they came from the Council. They erased the history I was meant to have, damn them! Oh my son, oh my wife, oh my should've-been self . . . I hope they have an okay life, in whatever place the Neverwhere go.

I know. I just worry about her. That is the good thing to do, right? *He chuckles ruefully.* Yes, no, little bit?

Edited 2012-11-07 02:20 (UTC)

[ Idris draws herself up, her face not exactly cool, but it's a firm expression and a firm voice. ]

You were destined to an ill fate, Koschei, but you cannot blame everyone but yourself for the trouble you have brought. If cannot take responsibility for what your have wrought, you shall not be saved.

I choose the specific cruelties, yes. I kill and torture and ruin. But you cannot say I ever had a choice in being me. In being what they made me.

I killed them for it, you know. My one good deed, and even that was murder.

I doubt I'll be saved anyway. But I can use my madness better.

Voice-Testing, on the way to asgardeventide and/or exsilium

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oh shit you read my mind hello hello

:D

excuse me if it's been a while since I've seen him sobsob

It's all good.

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Am using an idea I saw in a fanfic that I think explains a lot.

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And it's . . . 5 AM. How did that happen?

Same way 10am happened to me, I'm guessing

LOL Yeah

So for my own sanity, is he srs or up to something?

Pretty much serious. He's trying to get better, if only to spite Rassilon.