I couldn't resist, from Dragonmanx's Horrostuck AU

[controledfreak]

This is ridiculous. You are being ridiculous. You do not even know a thing about me. You aren't even sure if this font is an accurate representation of my persona.

I demand that you release me to your headspace THIS. INSTANT.

Comments

[old_one_hero]

I don't know whether to be irritated or interested.

[controledfreak]

Oh. You're here too? At this rate the whole gang is going to be here.

I guess that wouldn't be so bad.

[old_one_hero]

Actually you have the wrong guy.

I am far older than your group of friends.

[controledfreak]

[Blinks. All three of them.]

What?

[old_one_hero]

My name is Cthulhu, you mistook me for a friend of yours.

[controledfreak]

Oh.

...

I was wondering about the wings.

[old_one_hero]

Still it is kind of nice to see some more of my own species around.

The two from my group are inactive and even when they were around they took different forms from their usual ones.

[controledfreak]

[Though she is feigning disinterest, a well-experienced unholy abomination could easily see past the weak facade that she is just trying to pretend she's an adult.]

Is it? I had just arrived, and had not had the time to be beset by those strange looking creatures that lacked our particular flagellum.
They seem rather dense and weak-willed.
They will no doubt perish before one cycle is complete.
And you say your friends have been around? Who might they be?

[old_one_hero]

They might be weak-willed but they do have numbers on their side. There are a lot of them here in the multiverse.

Well the ones I have seen are Nyarlathotep and Yog-Sothoth.

[Honestly it wasn't hard to see past her exterior. Admittedly it was kind of cute she was trying to pretend to be one of the adults.]

Our group did take interest in using humans for our own interests. We settled onto one of their planets when it was still young.

[controledfreak]

[She stares quietly, also in a weak attempt to pretend she's controlling the conversation. Oh Gl'bgolyb...]

I see. My friends are named Oglogoth, Nrub'yiglith and... [there's another pause, different than the first] Fluthlu.

You say they are humans and that they are numerous? I cannot fathom how that could possibly be an issue. They are so insignificant as to be regarded irrelevant. Surely any use of them would be like a child torturing a... creature of equivalent ineptitude.

[She's got nothing]

[old_one_hero]

Well it's what you can refer to as "dumb luck" you get enough of them and eventually one is going to figure out more of the truth. Take another leap forward or at the very least be of use.

[He frowns.]

One of the little them even figured out how to seal our powers to a certain extent.

[controledfreak]

[That got her attention and broke her practiced veneer.]

WHAT.

[old_one_hero]

One of them figured out how to seal our powers.

The only reason I'm even close to your height is because of that.

1/2

[controledfreak]

I was wondering about that too. I sensed that you were older than me by a significant measure.

2/2

[controledfreak]

[suddenly the little horrorterror is starting to giggle]

[old_one_hero]

[Okay that makes him a mixture of angry and confused.]

What's so funny?

[controledfreak]

[She shakes her head.]

I do not delight in your misfortune, kin. Calm your bile sacks.

I am impressed by these... lesser beings ability to adapt, even in the face of impossible odds such as us. To reduce our power to their equivalence is truly quite clever and a feat that our kind would not have believed possible much less pursue.

[old_one_hero]

Fair enough I have to admit we didn't exactly expect a lot out of them.

If it wasn't me that got in the firing range I might of even given the guy a pat on the back for figuring out how to do it.

That can't be good for his sanity though.

[controledfreak]

[She laughs again, this time it's a real one that probably has some guy in Illinois understand chickens for the next thousand years.]

Yes, you see my point.

Our kind has always desired power, but what we truly lack is control. Of ourselves and of others. I have always believed that our tactics have always been quite... heavy-tentacled. Though my friends always dismissed my claims, it is my belief that through practiced effort that we can protect ourselves from being forcibly manipulated by another being. Inferior or otherwise.

By your account you have proven my point. Reducing your power to my equivalency is something which, in our own grasp, would be a far more cruel fate than any other distortion of reality.

[old_one_hero]

Yeah there are certain conditions for me to regain my power. Sort of a loophole.

You've really thought this out though. I'm not exactly the guy to bounce these sort of ideas off of though. It isn't really my area of knowledge.

If you wanted someone heavily interested in that sort of thing there is a human named Rose Lalonde that has a certain affinity for our species. She even managed to channel our powers without any negative effects to her psyche afterward.

[controledfreak]

You wouldn't happen to know the specifics of that loophole, would you?

That is fine. It is nice to... talk. [A tentacle reaches up and brushes away some head-tentacles out of her face. It... doesn't help that he looks almost exactly like him...]

Rose Lalonde human, hmm... [And back comes the fake disinterest.]

[old_one_hero]

It's kind of annoying actually. I have to become the ideal standards for a human hero.

[Really the fake disinterest didn't make sense to him but he let her do as she wanted.]

Yes she's very academic like you. She is also in a similar game to yourself and your friends if what I know about your situation is right.

She doesn't want to let on that she's a curious cephalopod :]

[controledfreak]

[A weaker horrorterror would laugh raucously. Fortunately Gl'bgolyb is WELL PRACTICED IN SELF CONTROL. Which is to say that her grin is MOST DECIDEDLY POINTED HERE.]

[Still, she looks a bit confused...]

Game? What game?

Oh, the one Oglogoth wants to play?

I have no interest in that. [Sincere! This time.]

[old_one_hero]

Well despite your disinterest I would advise you go along with that.

Otherwise you are actually going to die. That game is something outside of our control but it decides the fate of entire worlds.

I don't even want to know how that would effect the void but no matter what everyone else you know beyond the players and those in the players' immediate dwelling are as good as dead.

[controledfreak]

[Suddenly the idea that she is no longer the one in control has her VERY. UPSET.]

I see.

[Can you feel the unfocused scorn yet?]