dear_mun | she doesn't like this at all

So by the time I see them again, the next time you put me in a mafia game, the old man will really be gone...

Mun, I can't believe you're really going to go through with his death being "canon" in my universe! I know you've been playing with the idea for a while, but damnit... this isn't fair. It's too much and you know it! Why?! You damn well better not consider ever "canon updating" me to after this point in Exsilium!

He's such a bastard. Why did he think being cold the way he did, all those years, was protecting us?! That stupid asshole... did the idea of dying alone without the love of his kids really make him happy?!

Heh, I never thought losing him would hurt so much. I never thought anything he did would hurt more than rejecting me and how he seemed to stop caring after Mom died. I think I'd rather keep thinking he didn't love me than know the truth.

...will you at least wait until Dad is there to comfort me, mun? Even if my father dies because of... of that, I can't let that change anything between Dad and me. Not when he's been there for me... Yuan would be nice, too, but I'll really need one of Dad's hugs.

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How am I supposed to? I can't read minds. [And really, she has a feeling that she doesn't much want to hazard a guess anyway. She doesn't even want to be having this conversation.]

That's great, I can't either. To my understanding not a lot of species out there can.

Then don't expect me to figure out what you're supposed to be going on about.

[Just getting more and more defensive there, aren't we, Tori? Probably a bad idea.]

You're the one who wants to figure it out so badly, I'm just assuming you're bright enough to because of that.

[Definitely a bad idea.]

Maybe I don't want to figure it out as badly as you think I do. [She still doesn't want to be having this conversation.]

[But they are having it, unless either of them were to leave right now.

And frankly, Kaori doesn't want to.] Hmm, I wouldn't be so sure about that...

Oh yeah? Well, I disagree. [She doesn't leave, but she does turn away from Kaori a little.]

[Well now she does laugh a little, not that it makes any difference that Tori turned away. It was all the same thing when you couldn't see.]

What do you want from me? [Tori just wanted to grieve a little, before having to go back to everything else. So why...?]

What do you think I would want from you? [Sorry Tori, having time to properly grieve isn't something she's very familiar with.]

I don't know! I don't know what you want from me.

That's great, because I don't either. [It wasn't like Tori could bring him back to her, after all.]

...then why stay here? [This is getting to her more and more, and she really doesn't like it.]

Call it a passing whimsy. [And even now, she couldn't force herself to stay away from someone who was in pain even if she wound up inflicting more. All too often she damned that part of herself that was willing to take on another's emotional pain.]

...right. And it has nothing to do with anyone we know.

[Shit, that just slipped out.]

Why would it have anything to do with that? [There's genuine curiosity there, but at the same time there is the familiar bubble of jealousy. Who was she talking about?]

[She might as well work with it, since she made that slip up.]

Why wouldn't it? We're allowed to know more than we usually do, here. How else would you know my name? [Two people had come to mind, actually.]

Because people like to talk and go blah blah. [Though she's doing a decent job of hiding how angry she's getting for the time being...]

"People," huh? [Tori isn't getting any gratification out of this. Not like she thought she might. Maybe it's because despite this, she still doesn't want to be having the conversation in the first place...]

What, do you want me to start talking, too? Sorry, I try to avoid that kind of thing.

Oh, no. No, you don't get to call that shot--not when you started this shit. [Gratification? No. Irritation, on the other hand...]

Hm? What did I "start," exactly? [Explain, dear!.]

You're the one who started this conversation, unprovoked, and treated my dilemma like it was something I should just quickly get over!

Oh you never get over it quickly, but you can at least pretend. [Because that was what home was like. A bunch of pretenders who say they are all right until they eventually die of heartbreak and speed up their extinction in the process.]

Oh, I could pretend. I'll probably try, but the end result will be the same--someone will realize I'm not all right and wrench the truth out of me. It doesn't matter who I hide it from, they all know. So you see, there's no point in lying anymore if they won't leave me be anyway~

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