canon is No More Heroes; looking at the upcoming sweven

[crownless]

Lemme get this straight.

There's all sorts of amazing, mystical places you could be sending me. You could've sent me somewhere with hot valkyries or giant robots or space ships or someplace where I'm required to get laid on a biweekly basis. But you aren't looking at any of 'em.

You want to send me to fucking Montana.

I don't care if there's some timeline screwing going on and it isn't actually the middle of buttfuck nowhere anymore--I still don't wanna go! I'm fine in Santa Destroy, where I don't need to worry about icicles whenever I walk around outside with a runny nose. And I'd rather not have people poking around in my dreams, either--it was creepy when Henry did it, and it's gonna be creepy when other people do it, too.

Comments

[monkeytailed]

So, how did you piss off your boss? [Because there's no other explanation, really. For either of them.]

[crownless]

I didn't.

I think she thinks my pain is funny, or something.

[It really is.]

[monkeytailed]

Are you sure about that? Come on, we'll be going to Montana together. You can tell me what really happened.

[crownless]

I'm serious! She's always been like this--I've been headbutted by some chick in full-on medieval armor, I nearly got eaten by zombies, I was nearly gutted by some freaky Squeenix RPG thing, and--

...wait.

She says it's because I'm "an asshole" and she's giving me what I "would've had coming anyway."



....what a bitch!

[monkeytailed]

...are you sure you're not just in denial? Come on, I'll tell you what I did to my mun if you tell me what happened to yours.

[crownless]

I'm positive! Either that or it's something so stupid I don't even remember it.

All right, go ahead. Maybe you'll make me remember what I did. (Whatever that happened to be.)

[monkeytailed]

I'm not going first! What kind of guy do you think I am?

[crownless]

The kind who was offering to tell their story first?!

[monkeytailed]

I said I'd tell if you told too. I'm not going to share if this is just going to go one way.

[crownless]

Fine, fine... I already told you I didn't know what it was, but... huh. Let's see.

Well, there's...a lot of things it could've been. I accidentally groped this lady once, and I don't put up with all her dumb shipping ideas.

[monkeytailed]

But you could've been lying about it. How did she react?

[garudynes]

Hey, winter's not so bad.

[ yukari would also mention that those "getting laid" games are totally not worth it but she ssssssooooo doesn't want to draw attention to that right now ]

[crownless]

Where I'm from, it can hardly even be called winter--snows once every hundred years or so in Santa Destroy.

[He doesn't need to know that sssshhhh]

[garudynes]

... So what's your point?

[crownless]

My point?

I'm gonna freeze my ass off if I get shipped off to Montana!

1/2

[garudynes]

So buy a better jacket. Sheesh.

[garudynes]

Also my mun wants me to tell you that your pain is apparently "hilarious."

[ and she agrees n_n ]

[crownless]

What, and waddle around looking like a marshmallow in sunglasses? Hell no. [fashion is pain, apparently.]

...Hey, Yukari's mun! You and my mun can go fuck yourselves!

[just for that you're getting hit with a nutshot the next time i get the opportunity to injure you, travis.]

[garudynes]

Then I guess you're just gonna have to suck it up.

[ a shrug, and then: ]

... And deal with that, too.

[daughters_of_janus]

Aw, but isn't sex more interesting in a place where no one expects it?

[Is that flirting? Most definitely.]

[crownless]

[Oh. Oh. Travis is a-okay with flirting, particularly when said flirting involves scantily-clad blondes.]

Hey, sex games at least add convenience.

...But I'm a fan of pleasant surprises, too.

[daughters_of_janus]

[And Jeanette fit the description of scantily-clad blonde ]

Surprises are ALWAYS the best. Especially when they come in the form of someone only wearing whipped cream and a smile.

[crownless]

...So, uh, heh.

[That suaveness is drying RIGHT up.]

What other kinda surprises are you thinking about?

[daughters_of_janus]

Oh plenty.

[She flashes him a smile full of implications.]

But I think you're the one who has to surprise me kitten.

This had to be done :P

[moonlight_reaper]

All you care about is getting laid. You're still a pathetic otaku.

MAGGIE 8D

[crownless]

Hey, I care about other stuff too! [Like porn and lucha libre and Touhou and--] You might have had a catchy theme song, but you don't know shit about me.

Yus <3 Complete with Tsundere attitude.

[moonlight_reaper]

I actually know plenty about you Travis. Not that it's worth much now that I'm dead.

heeheehee.

[crownless]

Well, you're up and about now. How the hell do you know all about me, huh? I don't remember giving any biographies the go-ahead, and I'm pretty sure the day I met you was the day I killed you.

[moonlight_reaper]

[She paused and put her hand on her hip.]

Oh come on. You didn't realize the song was made for YOU?

[crownless]

[Travis pauses to hum Philistine to himself, occasionally mouthing a lyric or two...

Oh.

So it was.]

.....You were sniping me! I didn't have time to analyze the fucking lyrics!

[worldless]

If it's any consolation, I don't think anyone's going to be happy about the dream sharing.

[crownless]

You never know. There's always at least one sick bastard who thinks that kinda thing is entertaining for one reason or another.

[worldless]

Okay, so the majority of people aren't gonna be happy.

[crownless]

Point taken. Better suffering through the bullshit together than going through it alone, right?

[worldless]

Misery loves company.

[crownless]

Guess that's how it goes.

Here's hoping that it won't be too hard to get outta that city in the end.

[worldless]

It'll be easier than other places. Most've them don't even have a real way back.

[marvelously]

It sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Ouchies!

HAHAHA I LOVE MARY <3

[crownless]

...

"Ouchies"?

Are you serious?

[marvelously]

Of course I'm serious! I'd be laughing if it was a joke!

[crownless]

You're not joking.

Well, the innocence is refreshing. I guess.

Well you're either going to love me or hate me for this xD

[dose_of_innocence]

[All Travis would hear prior to being tackle-hugged is]

Travis the great! You really are here!