Because mun is bored, and a horrible person.

[wizard_eyes]

...What? ...WHAT!? Yeah, I bought it from a witch. So what? I'm a Wizard! I'm allowed to buy stuff from Wizard Market. Remember?

[He holds up the universal Wizard handshake sign.] Wizards rule, yo.

Anyway, so what if I bought an old stuffed bear? Gunter likes stuffed animals and keeps him from smashing my bottles.

...Wait, it belongs to someone? Ooh! Maybe I can give it to Princess Bubblegum as a token of my affection~!

Comments

[bloodredridinghood]

Oh? And what are you expecting this chewing gum princess or whoever she is to give you in return?

[wizard_eyes]

Oh, I dunno... a smooch or something... It'd be nice if she'd marry me...

[Yes, this is his logic.]

[bloodredridinghood]

Oh really now? Hey, you look like a guy who needs to get out more. You in any games yet?

[Alas, poor Ice King. We knew you well.]

[wizard_eyes]

I get out all the time! I'm definitely not some socially awkward recluse that sits alone in his glacier castle with nothing but penguins to talk to all day! I spend my time getting the ladies~!

...Games? Nah, my person-thing isn't looking for anything like that for me. Something about not having my voice down yet. Which is a valid concern! Wouldn't want him messing up any of my awesome pick-up lines.

[bloodredridinghood]

Soooo you're a socially awkward recluse who sits alone in your glacier castle with nothing but penguins to talk to all day. And every once in a while, you try to "get the ladies", which totally means that you want to defile them and have them all to yourself. The "ladies", as you call them, who are probably a good many years younger than you are! You might also be a total whackjob on top of that. That sound about right? It might've sounded better in my head, but I think I got the point across well.

Your mun probably isn't letting you in any games because you freak him the hell out and he wants to keep underage girls and princesses safe from you. But since you were nice and thoughtful enough to bring up the subject, please humor me. What "awesome" pick-up lines would you have for ME? I think I'll find 'em amusing.

[wizard_eyes]

[Ice King doesn't even bat an eye at this rather blunt assessment. Instead, he decides that he'd rather do what he usually does with negative comments directed at him. Ignore them outright.]

Pffft, please, I have no interest in underage princesses. Though it does get kinda confusing at times... especially when Bubblegum turned thirteen for a while before going back to eighteen. Candy people are weird like that. But I still love her.

And, no offense, toots, but you're really not my type. Gotta have a crown if you wanna get with all this! [He proceeds to strike a flexing pose with his scrawny twig-like arms.]

[bloodredridinghood]

[The Ice King's total ignoring of her assessment brings the biggest smirk to Hayley's face. As if to say "Gotcha!"]

So she's eighteen? And she once magically turned thirteen for a while? Okie dokie, then. The two big questions here are: 1. Did you love her even when she was thirteen? And 2. How old are you?

Pfft. I feel real sorry for any chick with a crown now. But if you have something called an 'imagination', how 'bout using it to pretend that you are speaking to a princess. What would your supposedly awesome pick-up lines be then?

[wizard_eyes]

Yeah, after the Lich possessed her for a while and we had to kind of blow her up. Wasn't enough of her to put her back together at age eighteen. I just said I'm not interested in the underage girls. [Again, totally evading the question.]

How old am I? [He pauses to think, counting on his fingers for a bit and muttering math-ey terms.] About... 1100, give or take a few years.

And Jay T. Dogzone says to never reveal your secret weapon until absolutely necessary. The ladies like a mysterious air.

[bloodredridinghood]

Dude, you just totally contradicted yourself. You said you're not interested in underage girls, but then you say you're around 1100 years old? Unless you were a teenager or young man, an 18 year old princess still technically counts as "underage" compared to you. If you're lonely and are that desperate for company, go find some old lady to spend the rest of your days with. But wait, you won't do that. You know why? Because you're sick in the head and feel the NEED to go after princesses who are all younger than you are. Well, I think you'd be better off taking that crown of yours and shoving it up your ass. Or maybe freezing yourself so that you're not a bother to yourself or anyone else anymore. Whichever one works.

I don't think you really have a mysterious air. I think you just don't know what the fuck you're doing. Except that you want to get into a young girl's panties. Which, you ought to know, the ladies do not dig. At all.

[wizard_eyes]

[Cue the crazy face and him floating up off the ground a bit with his beard flapping like wings.]

I'll have you know that Bubblegum has been 18 for close to twenty years! You can't judge me!

[And some blue energy is forming around his hands now.]

[bloodredridinghood]

18 is 18 no matter how many years it's technically been. She's still a kid and you're still the adult here, even if you don't really act like it, especially with the temper tantrum you're having now and all.

Is this supposed to frighten me or some shit? Pfft. Please. You're just a sick old perv who wants to have his own way and is all pissy about being told why he shouldn't have it.

[350pointsmile]

So...because it belongs to someone else you think it's a better gift?

[wizard_eyes]

Hey, things with high amounts of sentimental value is like pure gold to us Wizards! It has inborn power within the spirit realm. Of course it would make a better gift! Duh.