dear_mun | (no subject)

Entry tags:

canon: marvel live action

(no subject)

Okay, look. You need to figure out what you're doing. Because this on again, off again thing isn't working for me.

I get back to work, you drag me away to do some "meme" or whatever. I get back to work again, you drag me away again. You see the cycle here? I do.

So why don't we try something different.

You go find someone else to annoy, harass, and put into stupid situations. I'll get on with my life and leave you to it. Then you're happy doing whatever the hell it is you're doing, and I'm happy never having to hear from you again. Deal?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Here you go, Justin. Party on, dude.]

Maybe it was once. But the trash is starting to build up in the gutters. Someone might need to take it out.

[PARTY 4EVA JHAM]

Yeah...there's a lot of her running around, isn't there. You know, on top of hims.

[Natasha is Russian okay, that's trash. Right?]

[You don't even have to say her name, Justin. Justin knows exactly who you mean.]

It's enough to make a man want to move to a better neighborhood, isn't it?

Honestly.

You can only tell so many people to get off my lawn until there's no lawn left. Why? Because some agency above the American government has pulled a bunch of their workers from foreign shores and they're crawling all over. Like cockroaches, only worse.

So who's the exterminator? Who do we call to deal with the pest problem? Because someone needs to, otherwise it's going to get completely out of hand.

Goddamn it, man, now I have the Ghostbusters theme stuck in my head.

[There are the actual Ghostbusters in RP land, but THAT DOESN'T HELP THEM BACK HOME]

I don't know. Maybe Loki will break free, come back, and kill all of them instead of blathering on like a fucking moron. Oh, appeal to my humanity, please let me talk and ramble on about unimportant shit but I'm really going to kill you, Jesus fuck. Advanced alien race and they're still a bunch of crappy B-level horror movie villains. All he has to do now is say he wants to play a game and everyone will cream themselves because oh my god SAW was the best movie ever!

Now I do too. Misery loves company, right?

[What they really need is Starkbusters. Maybe SHIELDbusters.]

How about we forget that pansy Loki and find someone who isn't going to play Dr. Evil and pontificate the whole time instead of, you know, actually killing people. He killed eighty people in three days? Really? Because I didn't see it! Some SHIELD fucks, sure, but that looked more like twenty at most.

[Yes, yes it does. Who else was there in prison, right?

And Jesus, why aren't they in the yellow pages?]

You know what? I didn't see it either. I saw some guys is suits get mowed down, I saw some road collapse on itself, but...eighty? It'd take a damn long time to get through all that rubble, please. You're not fooling anyone, sister.

...well, except for Tumblr, apparently.

[Maybe someone needs to start them.

Just a thought...]

That's because Tumblr's a pack of credulous nitwits who believe everything the TV tells them is the truth.

I'd say we call up the guy and invite him to try again, but he's such a pathetic "villain" that I don't see the point. We need someone who can actually get shit done.

[WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD VILLAINS GONE?]

But it's Joss Whedon, Justin. He did Buffy. The man is flawless! You can't speak a word against him without an army of cocksucking fangirls who will never even meet him talking about how amazingly he writes strong, female characters. Seriously! They're all fantastic!

We could always swap sides, I guess. You know. Go for Ozymandias if we really want to fund someone who gets shit done. Except he's pretty shitty, too. Then you've got your whole DC villain list, and out of them? I'd love to see Poison Ivy in person, but that's a bad idea. See? We can recognize bad ideas as beautiful but impractical.

Clearly, we just need to do it our fucking selves since no one else is up to task.

[Dracula probably killed them all. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.]

I used to think it was a damn shame to be overlooked with the whole Avenger thing. I mean, come on. We were there! We could have at least had a mention. But that would have meant being sullied by Joss Can't Write Convincing Villains and that's just bad.

You're right. You're absolutely right. Want the job done right, you always have to do it yourself. That's the American way.

So you in, Justin? Ready to tear this shit up and actually get something accomplished?

[Do you want to meet the original Dracula, Justin? Justin can hook you up with him. He's one finger "click" on the login list away!]

You know, I've seen that. On Tumblr, actually, about how we would have made that loophole fest of a movie even better. But then I thought about it, and you know what? You're absolutely right; Joss Whedon can't write a proper villain to save his life—it wouldn't have been us. It would have been some bastardization of us.

And that's why Iron Man 3 is going to suck. Change directing crew, give him a boy band haircut? Yeah, that's really going to rock. Please.

I am all in, Justin. You bet your sweet dance moves I'm in.

[But how can he get things done if he's dead? :(]

We would've been living in space with harlots for daughters is what would've happened. For no reason, either. Just because.

I'd say maybe we'll get lucky and he'll die, but you can't have an Avengers sequel without the stupid bastard.

Then let's get this done.

[Oh please, he won't kill him. Or turn him. Original no homo, Vlad Dracula.]

Yeah, daughters who married into the Stane family. That arc was definitely poorly written.

Romanoff or Stark first? This is important.

[He's liking him better already.]

I wonder if Whedon wrote it.

Stark. Definitely Stark. Besides, we're good. I bet we can kill two roaches with one shoe.

[Enjoy it, Justin.]

Fuck Whedon. He gives me terribly sour feels.

[Just the two of us, we can make it if we try!]

Why stop at two? What about Fury?

[You + Me = the last bastion of sense in the universe]

I like the way you think, Justin. I like it a whole hell of a lot.

[Please don't spank his behind, Justin. Leave that to Tony and himself, okay? He promises he won't spank yours, either.]

Next mindfuck or kill meme is ours, how's that?

[His hands will always be where you can see him, Justin.]

You got it.

[Insert that .gif of Tom Hanks being extremely happy here, kthnx]

I look forward to your—to our—hmm. Results.

[ He's just going to be over here.

So very, very unsure. ]

[Your days are numbered, you narcissistic prick.

And Justin? He's going to make sure you die a slow, painful death. Who knows. Maybe he'll even let you keep the arc reactor in.]

[ OH MY GOD MAN WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION???

It's like Jack Torrance all over again. Go move into the Overlook with the bastard and have crazy psycho times together or something. ]

(no subject)

norussianplz - 2012-10-22 01:07 (UTC) - Expand

[Not you his sweet baboo go back to bed]

[Psst. Justin. Little clarification on the baboo and why it's safe from slaughter.]