dear_mun | On the EU receiving the Nobel Prize for Peace. Also: Greece...

[True. Prussia rather demands instead of asking. Or decides that certain things have to happen in certain ways.]

Ah- I'm not--!!

[Yes, THE LIBRARY! Not your butt! If you want him to ponder your butt, you will need to move it to the library and-- Wait. No. He doesn't need your buttprints in the barely existing dust.

And by the way, he HATES when you actually make sense while scolding him! Prussia, stop having reasonable points! RIGHT NOW!! Just how's he supposed to counter to this?!]

...eh...

[Silence. Siiiileeenceeee... Watch him as he shifts his weight somewhat uncomfortably. Germany clearly prefers to be able to negate your points. But now he actually feels bad because apparently he still got you worried to some degree and you don't just give a damn after all. Yepp. He's glancing away now., voice settling.]

I... I'm sorry.

[Darrrn you.]

[His way or the highway, been like that since he was a kid, ain't gonna change any time soon]

...

...[At least has the grace not to make a smug "See?! I am your older brother and I can put you in your place if I need to!!" face!! Nope, he's just looking at you with his brow furrowed, wondering when's the last time he's seen you eat a proper full meal without being distracted with this or that, and how much you've slept, or been home for more than just to sleep and snack and jesus boy]

....Apologies are meaningless if they're coming only after someone lectured you!! Repent!! As penance, make us dinner and eat it at the table!! It's been a while!! [he's a bottomless pit and still has room in his belly!!]

[That furrowed brow is telling enough already. And Germany doesn't like to be on the receiving end of this look. At all. Though he does look up at your demand, at least.]

Dinner...?

[He blinks briefly, but... Well. That's something he can actually do. Even if it's meant as punishment. It's more that he has a good bunch of other things that need to get done as well.

Germany refrains from crossing his arms. Fine Apparently the both of them had yet to eat a proper meal, so this isn't just some strange or pointless idea.]

Do you have anything specific in mind?

[he shrugs, sliding over to the table and taking a seat]

The only thing on my mind is "Spooky" dinner!!! West!!! A request!! While you cook, pretend to be a ghost and go "OOooooOoOOOH!!!" and other haunty shit!!

[Meaning whatever's fine with you is fine with him. someone's been packing on the hours on tumblr.]

[settles into his seat humming to himself and leaning back on the legs of the chair a little, staring off into the space. He feels like he's forgetting something...Something that he did in the kitchen that relates to you. If he wasn't distracted by thinking of you being spooky, he'd remember that he left that used cake tray in the oven, but alas.]

[Froooooown. Spooky dinner? Please, you're not a child anymore! There's no way Germany will go "OOooooOoOOOH!!!" or... Something like that.]

I'll... Just see what we have.

[Now guess what? He's totally going into the kitchen. Aaaand... Yes. He does notice something odd about the oven. Tchhh... Hasn't he told you to at least clean up after yourself?!

So you want him to be spooky? Fine. How about this little brother of yours creeping up on you with just the same used cake tray in his hands and giving you one of his murderous looks that just about promise you getting hit with said cake tray any given moment now.]

Brother!!

[DOES THAT MEAN IF HE WAS A CHILD, YOU WOULD GO "OOOoOoOooOh!!!" BECAUSE THAT CAN BE ARRANGED AS WELL, HE'LL GIVE ENGLAND A CALL. But fine, he'll just add a spooky ghost moan to every sound you make instead]

OOooooOoOOOH!!! Kesesesese!! [Maturity at its finest. Continues rocking back and forth in his chair, combing his mind for the thing he's forgetting. What could it be, what could it b--]

K-KAH!!! [NEARLY TOPPLES OVER at the sound of your voice, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. ARE YOU STUDYING TO BE A SERIAL KILLER?!! Has to scramble to maintain his balance, his chair slamming back down to the ground loudly. Whirls around to face you and instantly brings up his hands defensively]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! W-WEST!! I-I-I WAS GETTING TO THAT!!! I WAS GETTING TO IT!!! [IF YOU HAD JUST GIVEN HIM AN DAY OR TWO, HE WOULD'VE REMEMBERED!!]

[If you get yourself turned into a child you may end up getting more trouble for yourself than you may be willing to deal with.]

Brother!

[Yyyepp. He repeats himself, eyes narrowing dangerously.]

What did I tell you about leaving a mess in the kitchen?!

[Because forgetting to put away one used item sure equals leaving a mess. And, no. He doesn't bother too much about the cake. Germany prefers baking them to actually eating them anyway. But LEAVING A GOSHDARN MESS in HIS kitchen?! You must've been having a death wish, dear brother.]

Ah-- [YOU'RE JUST GETTING BACK AT HIM FOR LECTURING YOU, AREN'T YOU. You know, he would remember what your official rule about the kitchen was if YOU DIDNT HAVE A BILLION FUCKING RULES ABOUT THE KITCHEN. DOESN'T LIKE THE WAY YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM, REACHES BACK TO COVER YOUR FACE WITH HIS HAND, LIZARD FACE]

Y-You said--West was like...Uh...Something about...[waves in the air with his free hand, Hell if he knows, makes something up. If you're gonna die, your last words should be worthy of envy!!]

..."Don't make a mess in my kitchen, but if you forget, it's okay!! 'Cause even guys like my too cool older brother can make mistakes and the sweetfaced me has a big forgiving heart!!!!"

Edited 2012-10-20 02:18 (UTC)

[But of course not, dearest brother. What reason should he have to do such a thing?! And of course his kitchen needs rules. And they all need to be followed. That's the very first rule in this entire house! AND DON'T YOU COVER HIS FACE WITH YOUR HAND!! He's totally grabbing your frist, tiiiiightly. And he awaits your response. ready to snap your wrist.]

Hnn?!

[Tilting his head so he can look past your hand. Aaaand he growls a little.]

Wrong! I said, if you use the kitchen, make sure to clean up after yourself and put everything back where it belongs! Leaving used and dirty dishes lying about is unhygienic and if the next person in the kitchen has to clean up your mess first before they can get to work, everything will only get delayed!!

[Of course this next person is usually him.]

Now go and clean up the mess you left!!

[Plenty of reasons, dearest little brother. Be warned that karma is a bitch. AND DON'T YOU TELL HIM WHAT HE CAN AND CAN'T DOOO!!! HE WILL COVER YOUR FACE IF HE WANTS TO 'CAUSE HE IS A REAL ADULT]

Gah!! I know that!! [HE PROBABLY TAUGHT YOU THAT]

It's one tray!! It slipped my mind!! [pauses for a moment, balancing his defiance to do things when he's told to do them with his comfort where he is right now and his fear of consequences....Guess whichone is winning out!!]

[Points at with the hand you're holding!!]

...L-Later!!!! LA!!TER!! One tray won't get in West's way!!! The totally already comfortable like a little nesting bird me will do it after we eat!!!

[Fine. If you can cover his face, he can take a step to the side to avoid your hand.]

One tray can easily become two trays and more if you aren't careful, brother. And soon after, the entire kitchen is unusable!

[He pauses for a moment to let that point sink in, then his voice settles again.]

Just keep that in mind, bitte.

[And he turns around to return to the kitchen. He will just wash the tray while he's cooking.]

Something like that won't happen! West is being too uptight about the small stuff again!! [Why even yell at him if you were just gonna do it yourself??! You wasted so much energy over something small!!]

....It's in mind!! [FROWNY FACE. Now he's a bit annoyed, this is your annoying side!!]

Tch. [As you turn around and leave, he takes the chance to lightly karate chop your butt, just because he likes to always have the last word, always. Get in the kitchen and make him food already!!!]

[But if he lets the small stuff slide, these small things will amount to bigger things and in the end there will only be chaos. Now stop being annoyed, be's cleaning up your mess. At least it gives him something to do, even if he can't help but sigh at your behavior. Or lack thereof.

Food. Right. Just give him some time to work on that. Peeling potatoes, cooking peas, preparing the schnitzel. You won't see or hear a thing from your brother for the next fourty-five minutes, so hopefully you're enjoying yourself.]

[Sssh, he could be worse, you're lucky]

[if you mean at the table, then hell no, nope, forty-five minutes is a long time for him to be seated for something that is not TV/Games/Computer. Considers letting the dogs in and playing with them, but he feels like if he gets up and does anything, you'll get on his case about ~washing his hands~, and forget that!! Decides to sit and fiddle with the buttons on his sweater for a moment]

Keh...West's taking forever!! [Sits there making faces and drumming his fingers on the table for a couple of minutes. Lalalala]

[....]

[...]

[Man, the house got really quiet, he can barely hear you in the kitchen...YEAH OKAY, HE CANT HANDLE THIS. Stands up with a frustrated huff!]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeestttttttttttttttttttttt!! [Highpitched whiningggg; WHY AREN'T YOU TALKING TO HIIIIIIMM? YOU CAN COOK AND CONVERSE, YOU ARE CLOSE BY.]

Waiting's too damn boring!! Let me help!! Even if it's West's penance, I'll have mercy for my own sake! [strolling into the kitchen without even waiting for you to answer]

[Of course he isn't talking. Because he is well aware how much you hate being left alone with only yourself to keep you company. This is his way of punishing you.]

Ah. It's okay. You can wait outside. You don't need to do anything.

[Not looking up from his work as he speaks. See? He's perfectly fine all by himself~ Just leave and enjoy your silence~]

This will only take a little longer.

[Yepp. Your little brother knows how to be cruel.]

[You are trying to kill him aren't you?? Passive aggressiveness is becoming to none!!]

E-Eh?!! L-Like hell there's nothing you need help with!! C'mon, West!! Remember what we talked about before!! Rely on the people around you more!! [Hovering behiiinnddd you, looking over your shoulders--damn you for being slightly taller--on his tiptoes. Peeks down at what you're doing. Fine, want to ignore him, he's going to breathe. down. your. neck.]

[while stealing pieces of whatever it is you're making so he can taste test]

It's not about need, it's about want!! [chew chew mmm]

I wanna help so give me something to do!! This sort of kindness from a guy like me is super rare, y'know!! Be grateful and take advantage!!

[He lets you suffer just another moment. Just ooooone more mo~ment... And then he sighs in a satisfied way, but without making an actual sound.]

Fine.

[And he finally turns around.]

Set the table, if you don't mind doing so. And you can get us some beer. The rest is mostly a matter of letting the vegetables boild and slowly frying the meat. The fruit salad is meant for dessert, so remember to get some bowls as well.

[He adds a short nod.]

When you're done with that, everything should be ready so we can eat.

[He just gives you a look. A look that just asks where did he go wrong raising you when you string "dessert" after "Fruit salad". You're trying to hurt his spirit and punish him even more, aren't you?]

BOWLS FOR ICE CREAM!!! [Look sir, the words "dessert" and "Salad" in the same sentence IS JUST RIDICULOUS, COME!! ON!! You just won a fucking NOBEL PEACE PRIZE and you are going to eat fruit salad as desert. Dude!!!!]

GOT IT!! WILL DO!!! [See how loud he's being? Try and protest, try it.]

Table, beer and ice cream bowls coming up!! [gets busy pulling cutlery and etc stuff from their place! As well as a few bottles of beer. Party nighttt]

Edited 2012-10-20 23:36 (UTC)

[Maybe. Just mayyybe he plans to punish you further. But at least he's aware that there is no ice cream in the freezer right now. Fruits are sweet as well and healthy. You will see. You will like it. He will make you like it! Every single piece of orange, kiwi and strawberry and, yes, even the banana!

The beer he won't mind. Germany never minds beer. And there's just his brother around, so he can afford to drink one or two beers actually. But first: Food. And said food will be placed on the table at long last.]

Be careful. It's hot.

[Once everything is set, he sits down as well. Time to eat~]

{He stands there for a moment surprised. You're not gonna fight him on it?? Stares you down for a moment before deciding that you're just tired of arguing and this is another flawless victory for his book!! When he finds out what sick truth you are hiding from him, he is gonna flip. You do not offer a man fruit when he desires icecream!! He pouts a little, confused and a bit disappointed he didn't get a screaming match and finishes up with the table in time for the food]

...

...Even if our tongues are burned, the ice cream will cool it off!! [trying to provoke you, c'mon. Fight for your prissy salad, boy!! Like he raised you to!!!]

[Oh, brother. He knows you can be much more provoking than this. And if you're too slow now, he'll just take the biggest piece of meat right after opening two of the beer bottles.]

Drinking something right after you burned your tongue works even better, brother. But I don't think you can seriously burn yourself on this. Even if the potatos tend to get very hot. Here.

[He hands you one of the bottles with a perfectly neutral face. You will eaaaat those fruits!]

[You can have that big piece of meat. He's here to supervise your eating more than to fill his own stomach. And he's here for the ice cream. THAT TOTALLY EXISTS IN HIS HEART]

If ice cream can numb the sadness in a person's heart, it can soothe away the scorch of a burn too!!! [You don't have a neutral face with him, he raised you. Even your neutral face reveals to him your most inner thoughts.]

...

....Danke.[takes the bottle, and fills his plate up with a little less than his usual portion BECAUSE HE'S SAVING FOR THE ICECREAM and frowns at you, that pseudo-parental scrutinizing look that only you get because you're his little brother and he gets to judge you]

...

...

...DAMN IT!! WEST IS BEING SUSPICIOUS!! You're seriously letting the salad go?!! Seriously?!!

That's an unusually poetic side of you, brother.

[He pulls up a single brow while glancing up at you from focussing on his plate. You want to judge him? Oh well, feel free to.]

And I never said I'm letting the salad go.

[Perfectly straight face and tone. Juuuudge that.]

...Well, I'm letting the salad go!!! West can have it if he wants, but I refuse!! I'll eat my ice cream in front of West and laugh at his regret!!

[Can't juuuudge so he just sits back in his chair, frowning because he senses you've got something over him but whaaaatteeverrr. Starts cutting into his food, very precise and clean movements with manners anyone else wouldn't think he had. His rudeness is in a lot of ways just a front, so when he's distracted, he's a lot more tolerable at the table!!]

'the hell is that to say? I'm always poetic!! And musical too!!! My talent is triple that fake outdated gentleman's! [chew chew chew! If he wasn't eating, he would burst out into song for you!]

[Busy eating as well, thaaank you~ Though that song may have been interesting to listen to. A bit of his beer and he gives a slight shrug.]

There is no ice cream.

[There. He said it. He's watching your reaction on that now.]

Most of the time that's true, yes.

Re: Most of the time that's true, yes.

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