On the EU receiving the Nobel Prize for Peace. Also: Greece...

[potatomasher]

Danke. It's the result of our hard work and effort, ja. True enough everyone needs to keep up working hard to ensure that the EU will remain successful, but I am positive that we can do this. And, no. I don't think we should give up on Greece just yet. Even if he's been less than grateful recently and, yes. That. I... May have to exchange a few words with him later. Apparently he has a lot of energy that he could be putting to better use. We all need to cooperate and support one another for this cause or verything we worked so hard on building over the past decades may be at risk at one point. The EU is, after all, a project to maintain peace on this continent.

Now let's get back to work.

Comments

[potatomasher]

[Of course he isn't talking. Because he is well aware how much you hate being left alone with only yourself to keep you company. This is his way of punishing you.]

Ah. It's okay. You can wait outside. You don't need to do anything.

[Not looking up from his work as he speaks. See? He's perfectly fine all by himself~ Just leave and enjoy your silence~]

This will only take a little longer.

[Yepp. Your little brother knows how to be cruel.]

[dererste]

[You are trying to kill him aren't you?? Passive aggressiveness is becoming to none!!]

E-Eh?!! L-Like hell there's nothing you need help with!! C'mon, West!! Remember what we talked about before!! Rely on the people around you more!! [Hovering behiiinnddd you, looking over your shoulders--damn you for being slightly taller--on his tiptoes. Peeks down at what you're doing. Fine, want to ignore him, he's going to breathe. down. your. neck.]

[while stealing pieces of whatever it is you're making so he can taste test]

It's not about need, it's about want!! [chew chew mmm]

I wanna help so give me something to do!! This sort of kindness from a guy like me is super rare, y'know!! Be grateful and take advantage!!

[potatomasher]

[He lets you suffer just another moment. Just ooooone more mo~ment... And then he sighs in a satisfied way, but without making an actual sound.]

Fine.

[And he finally turns around.]

Set the table, if you don't mind doing so. And you can get us some beer. The rest is mostly a matter of letting the vegetables boild and slowly frying the meat. The fruit salad is meant for dessert, so remember to get some bowls as well.

[He adds a short nod.]

When you're done with that, everything should be ready so we can eat.

[dererste]

[He just gives you a look. A look that just asks where did he go wrong raising you when you string "dessert" after "Fruit salad". You're trying to hurt his spirit and punish him even more, aren't you?]

BOWLS FOR ICE CREAM!!! [Look sir, the words "dessert" and "Salad" in the same sentence IS JUST RIDICULOUS, COME!! ON!! You just won a fucking NOBEL PEACE PRIZE and you are going to eat fruit salad as desert. Dude!!!!]

GOT IT!! WILL DO!!! [See how loud he's being? Try and protest, try it.]

Table, beer and ice cream bowls coming up!! [gets busy pulling cutlery and etc stuff from their place! As well as a few bottles of beer. Party nighttt]

[potatomasher]

[Maybe. Just mayyybe he plans to punish you further. But at least he's aware that there is no ice cream in the freezer right now. Fruits are sweet as well and healthy. You will see. You will like it. He will make you like it! Every single piece of orange, kiwi and strawberry and, yes, even the banana!

The beer he won't mind. Germany never minds beer. And there's just his brother around, so he can afford to drink one or two beers actually. But first: Food. And said food will be placed on the table at long last.]

Be careful. It's hot.

[Once everything is set, he sits down as well. Time to eat~]

[dererste]

{He stands there for a moment surprised. You're not gonna fight him on it?? Stares you down for a moment before deciding that you're just tired of arguing and this is another flawless victory for his book!! When he finds out what sick truth you are hiding from him, he is gonna flip. You do not offer a man fruit when he desires icecream!! He pouts a little, confused and a bit disappointed he didn't get a screaming match and finishes up with the table in time for the food]


...

...Even if our tongues are burned, the ice cream will cool it off!! [trying to provoke you, c'mon. Fight for your prissy salad, boy!! Like he raised you to!!!]

[potatomasher]

[Oh, brother. He knows you can be much more provoking than this. And if you're too slow now, he'll just take the biggest piece of meat right after opening two of the beer bottles.]

Drinking something right after you burned your tongue works even better, brother. But I don't think you can seriously burn yourself on this. Even if the potatos tend to get very hot. Here.

[He hands you one of the bottles with a perfectly neutral face. You will eaaaat those fruits!]

[dererste]

[You can have that big piece of meat. He's here to supervise your eating more than to fill his own stomach. And he's here for the ice cream. THAT TOTALLY EXISTS IN HIS HEART]

If ice cream can numb the sadness in a person's heart, it can soothe away the scorch of a burn too!!! [You don't have a neutral face with him, he raised you. Even your neutral face reveals to him your most inner thoughts.]

...


....Danke.[takes the bottle, and fills his plate up with a little less than his usual portion BECAUSE HE'S SAVING FOR THE ICECREAM and frowns at you, that pseudo-parental scrutinizing look that only you get because you're his little brother and he gets to judge you]


...

...


...DAMN IT!! WEST IS BEING SUSPICIOUS!! You're seriously letting the salad go?!! Seriously?!!

[potatomasher]

That's an unusually poetic side of you, brother.

[He pulls up a single brow while glancing up at you from focussing on his plate. You want to judge him? Oh well, feel free to.]

And I never said I'm letting the salad go.

[Perfectly straight face and tone. Juuuudge that.]

[dererste]

...Well, I'm letting the salad go!!! West can have it if he wants, but I refuse!! I'll eat my ice cream in front of West and laugh at his regret!!

[Can't juuuudge so he just sits back in his chair, frowning because he senses you've got something over him but whaaaatteeverrr. Starts cutting into his food, very precise and clean movements with manners anyone else wouldn't think he had. His rudeness is in a lot of ways just a front, so when he's distracted, he's a lot more tolerable at the table!!]

'the hell is that to say? I'm always poetic!! And musical too!!! My talent is triple that fake outdated gentleman's! [chew chew chew! If he wasn't eating, he would burst out into song for you!]

[potatomasher]

[Busy eating as well, thaaank you~ Though that song may have been interesting to listen to. A bit of his beer and he gives a slight shrug.]

There is no ice cream.

[There. He said it. He's watching your reaction on that now.]

1/???

[dererste]

[the reaction is like watching the wall crumple all over again. Because y’know he wanted icecream and you are crushing his balls and breaking his heart all at once. AND YOU RE DOING IT LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN CARE]

--!!

[the first thing that happens is he freezes. Just sits there staring at you, his eyes wide like you're suddenly speaking Greek to him.]

SSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTT!!!!! [SPITS OUT HIS DRIIIIIIINKKKK ALLL OVERRR YOOUUUEWWW]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH?!!!! N-NO FUCKING WAY!!! NO WAY!!!

2/?????

[dererste]

Y-You’re fucking kidding with me?! Really?! No icecream?! Really?!!! [CANNOT GRASP THIS]

W-We always have icecream!! Oi!!! I put it on the shopping list just last week, West!! I put it!! [OR DID HE? HE USUALLY DOES. HE CAN’T ACCEPT THIS. THINGS ARE NOT AS THEY USUALLY ARE AND HE’S UPSET NOW]

You’re messing with me!! Keh!! I don’t believe it!! If the icecream loving me is living in this house, there’s always icecream!! This is a damn trick!! Oi, if you think I won’t check, you sneaky brat, you’re wrong!! If I’m getting up for no reason, I’m seriously kicking your ass!! [Abandons his plate and stands up with a clatter. STOMP. STOMP STOMP TO THE FRIDGE.]

3/4

[dererste]

[BLOODCURDLING SCREAM]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!


[pause, pause]


[SOUND OF HIM RUFFLING THROUGH THE TRASH]


[ANOTHER SCREAM. SEE PRUSSIA, THIS IS WHY YOU DO NOT INVITE NETHERLANDS TO THE HOUSE TO GET HIGH WHILE YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS OUT OF TOWN. YOU END UP WITH NO ICECREAM.]

4/4!

[dererste]

[STOMPS BACK INTO THE DINING ROOM, LOOKS ABSOLUTELY CRUSHED AND LIKE HE’S GONNA CRY RIGHT NOW]

GEH!!! WWEEEEEEEEEEEESSST!!! WEST!!! THERE’S NO FUCKING ICECREAM!!! [No shit, sherlock]

O-OI!! WEST!! KEYS!! WEST!! KEYYYSS!! CAR KEYS, WEST!!! TO THE STORE, WE NEED ICECREAM!!! ICECREAM, WEST!! [He has a hatred for taking his bike places when there’s a beautiful car you won’t let him drive, excuse him. GIVE HIM YOUR KEYS, THIS IS A FAMILY EMERGENCY]

Oh my... pfff... Don't mind me laughing.

[potatomasher]

[Okay. Well. He is drenched in beer, but that was... Interesting. In an oddly heartbreaking way. Sure. Germany is aware of his brother's love for ice cream, but it's not the end of the world. So for a moment, Germany just stares at his brother, then turns his head back to the table.]

First: We will eat! And you will too. I didn't cook any of this for the trashcan, brother, and I will not tolerating the waste of good food in favor of some ice cream! Now sit down!

[And he better doesn't make Germany stand up at that point.]

hehehe him freaking out over stupid stuff is my favorite

[dererste]

Ehh, b-but West!! [NGGHH, He grew up as a half starved knight, he's always been very strict himself about not letting anyone leave the table until every tiny morsel is gonneee, so he just plops... his butt down...BUT DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE GONNA BUY HIM ICE CREAM. YOU WEREN'T CLEAR. And yes you, your money, not his. Because he says so.]


K-Keh!! Fine!! T-the cool me won't turn my back on my own rules, b-but oi!! As soon as we finish, we're getting icecream!!

It's awesome! Ju~st remotely inconvenient, that this account's paid ran out today ^^,

[potatomasher]

[Germany remains silent for a while, watching. Yes. your rules. And Germany has sort of adopted a few of these. Be proud.]

You will get your ice cream. Now eat.

[Mind your little brother's words. You know he wouldn't just lie to you.]

ahhh that sucksss. I gave in and paid to play with you u3u /stalking stalker /DR germania mun

[dererste]

[He is proud!! Very proud!!!]

[Wahhh WIDE GRIN AT THAT]

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! WEEESTT!! YOU SWEET MUSCLE BOY!!!! ALRIGHT!! DOWN THE HATCH!!! [Starts. shoveling food as fast as he can down his throat]

Ahaha, oh my. IT'S YOUUU!! *totally points* - And... Got his paid back~ And paid my recent AU /derps

[potatomasher]

[Juuuust watching for a while because, geeez. Brother, mind your manners! But all he says is a short sigh before he resumes eating himself. Okay. Almost.]

Try not to choke, bitte.

[Nope. Not hurrying at all. You'd still have to wait for him!]

\o/ /claps for!!!

[dererste]

[Makes some throaty "I won't" sound and finishes quickly. Washes it all down with the rest of his beer. You are so painfully slow with everything, you know that?]


[...opens up a second beer and nurses it while he waits for you to finish up]


[the point of you making dinner was to make sure you eat, so he has the manners to at least let you finish. But as soon as the last few bites are loaded onto your fork, he is slooowly pulling the plate away from you]


Ready?!

[potatomasher]

[Patience is a virtue, brother. And only the virtuous will get rewarded at the end of the day. And yet, yes. Germany manages to finish. Be grateful. But you do get his somewhat scolding look for your impatience.]

I hope that you're aware that the both of us just drank alcohol. So we're not going to use the car.

[dererste]

[He's heard that so much his entire life, if he could read your thoughts, he'd smack you. He meets your scolding look with his usual challenging one, and piles your plate on top of his]


Kesesese!! You're not buzzed, and I'm not buzzed!! We're driving!!! [moving to the kitchen sink to wash and put these away]

[potatomasher]

That's irresponsible! Only because none of us is drunk yet doesn't mean that we're still fully capable of operating a car safely!

[He's getting up and following you towards the kitchen, standing in the doorframe with his arms crossed. Oh. Well. Seeing you take care of the dishes is.. DON'T TRY TO DISTRACT HIM!! He's still frowning, yes.]

It's risky.

[dererste]

We've gotten home on triple the amount! You had one beer, I had two! Lisen up, West, I don't wanna hear safety shift from the loud musclehead who gets too plastered each time he drinks! [YOUR FUCKEDUP SCORE IS HIGHER THAN HIS. SHUT YOUR MOUTH]


It's a ten minute drive!! Geesh!! [NO, NO GET DISTRACTED. LOOK AT HOW CAREFULLY HE'S WASHING THESE PLATES, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL?? ARE YOU GETTING A LIL TURNED ON AT THIS PRO DISHWASHING? MUN SURE IS.]

[rolls his eyes up and spreads his arms out like he is pleading for mercy]

Oi!! Old man watching down on the cool me always from heaven, ask God 'the hell did I do to get an oversized mommy for a little brother?