a_facility, on recent updates

[barkstabbark]

fuck
the kid finally did it
hes beating me in a real fight and everything
i always knew he had it in him
wouldnt expect anything less from my apprentice











no shut up
fuck you im not crying

Comments

[nukeoleptic]

your what??

[barkstabbark]

apprentice
protege
student
pupil
sparring partner
human pincushion take your fucking pick

long story short we tried to kill eachother once and ended up making a habit out of it

[nukeoleptic]

oh
i just didnt realize that was
a
........thing

[barkstabbark]

its a really long story
like multiple edition encyclopedia long

[nukeoleptic]

okay, okay i am not pressing it!!
it is still just sort of

wait
ARE you crying?????

[barkstabbark]

what no
of course im not crying
that would be fucking stupid and dumb
i am not crying

its just
really dusty in here
yeah

[he might have been crying a little

he's really proud okay]

[nukeoleptic]

[ what

what is this

jack she isn't supposed to find you sympathetic

dammit

okay so she'll just laugh instead ]

lmfao oh okay i see
you are definitely not crying
this is certainly just a dust thing


hahahahaha

[barkstabbark]

[WOW RUDE, JADE]

what the fuck is so funny
i cant help it if ive got sensitive eyes

[nukeoleptic]

[ It can't be helped okay. ]

you seem pretty proud of john
its really kind of actually........ sweet :x

i always knew you had it in you, jack
i wouldnt expect anything less :p

[barkstabbark]

ill take that as a compliment
a lot of shit can happen in two years i guess

and dont start thinking im some kind of goddamn pansy now or something
ill still kill whoever the fuck i want if they piss me off
the heirs just proven himself worthy of not getting straight up murdered in his sleep again

da fuq

[nukeoleptic]

oh no i will make no mistake
i am sure you are still the biggest badass ever
i guess i am just sort of
idk
p...roud??? maybe???
maybe of john more than you
idek

[barkstabbark]

youre proud of me

[IS HE A GOOD DOG IS HE IS HE????]

[nukeoleptic]

well i mean there is the whole senseless murder thing
so its not like i am saying we should be best friends
but
its nice to see that you are capable of change
and growth?? that is the word i was looking for

so yeah i am proud :x
in a weird way

[barkstabbark]

what if i have a good reason for murder
thats still okay right

[nukeoleptic]

nope
if the only solution you can find is murder then you are just being lazy :P

[barkstabbark]

oh come on
thats not even fair
murder is a legitimate solution to a lot of things
you cant always talk shit over you know

what if they started it
i cant not defend myself

[nukeoleptic]

nooooope
do you know what i hear when you talk?
"blah blah blah excuses murder stab blah blah blah"

>|

[one_winged_demon]

Heh if only my kid could do that. I'd be pretty impressed.

[barkstabbark]

It was a pretty fucking impressive feat. He's landed hits on me before, I guess, but it's not like he's ever beaten me before.

I'm just—fuck. He's growing up so fast. [SO PROUD]

[one_winged_demon]

I suppose it is something to be proud of when you're nearly immortal.

How do you expect this to turn out?

[barkstabbark]

I figured I'd just kick his ass before, but now I'm not sure. Could go either way. I can't even be pissed if he actually kills me here. The kid's come a long way.

[one_winged_demon]

I could understand that. If the kid actually figured out some way to hurt me I'd be impressed too.

Seems like part of John's killing instinct here is his rage though. He has been locked up on that ship for a little too long.

>Resist urge to shoa Jack your stabs.

[promotedmessenger]

[You barely manage to not stab the Sovereign Slayer on sight. You growl menacingly instead.]

>Resist urge to hit on the sexy maillady.

[barkstabbark]

[You attempt to resist the urge, but fail. She is just too much for you to handle, and she isn't trying to kill you for once. This could be your chance!

fuck you weren't prepared for this, gotta think fast]

hey there dollface
is that a new
uh
wrapping
thing

>Threaten SS

[promotedmessenger]

What on Skaia are you talking about? Is this how you think people are supposed to react to someone who wants to kill them?

[You feel it would explain a lot.]

>Attempt to diffuse situation.

[barkstabbark]

well no ones killing anyone right now
cant we just
yknow
talk for awhile
have a break from all the fighting
thatd be nice for once dont you think

>Refuse to be defused.

[promotedmessenger]

I would like an end to the violence, but not until I have brought you to justice for what you have done.

[You growl some more.]

>Refuse to acknowledge embarrassing misspelling of "defused".

[barkstabbark]

come on babe youve already chased me for two years
thats a lot of justice right there
i feel bad
really

how about i make it up to you by buying you dinner
maybe a couple drinks
how does that sound

>Have sudden craving for irradiated steaks.

[promotedmessenger]

Something to eat would be nice...

But I doubt you are truly sorry for what you have done. Otherwise you would not think that dinner would be enough to make up for it.

[fireflyheir]

uhhh

what??

[barkstabbark]

different heir than you

but
well
keep doing what youre doing
you slipped up near the end but that was a good parry
dont forget about the tentacles next time
just because youre doing well doesnt mean you should let your fucking guard down like that

[fireflyheir]

oh
okay then

[That settled, this is still pretty weird. You're not sure you thought Jack could talk.]

uh
yeah
thanks
i'm not sure i remember seeing them before
but i will definitely keep that in mind now

[You're not sure what Jack's doing giving you advice at all, either, but you're not about to object.]

[strongestcoward]

I hope they make shoes out of you.

[barkstabbark]

what

[strongestcoward]

I.

Hope.

They.

Make.

Shoes.

Out.

Of.

You.

[barkstabbark]

i hope they make ugly fucking scarves out of you

oh wait

[strongestcoward]

Oooh. How catty, you're such a bitch. It'd ruffle my feathers if you had wit above a mollusc's.

Besides, scarves are extremely stylish. Unlike that little...cravat thing you choose to wear. You look like the lovechild of the dog from Scooby Doo and that...guy from Scooby Doo.

[barkstabbark]

what the hell is a scooby doo

its a fucking shirt asshole
and at least i dont waste my time thinking about dumb shit like being stylish
if i wasnt too fucking lazy to hit the shift key that would be in airquotes
''stylish''
there

im saying your style is shit

[strongestcoward]

It's a show about four homeless teenagers and their demoniacally possessed dog harassing old men in costumes. I sound just like one of them. [Because the VA of Asura also voices the Japanese Shaggy. ZOINKS HOW APPROPRIATE]

Jack, I am wearing at least five shirts at this precise moment. I collect shirts. What you are wearing is not a shirt. It is a rag pretending to be a neckerchief at best. You are a hobo dog.