Jumping on the Angels Take Manhattan train

[comeonthensexy]

Don't look at me like that.

Of course I'm sad. But I knew that would happen. The moment Rory was sent back again, I knew, no matter how much I...

[ Begged. ]

It was always Rory, for Amy. Even when she didn't really understand it herself, it was always Rory. She'll always choose Rory.

I'll be all right. It's me, after all.

Comments

[waitedforyears]

Raggedy man—

( but then, what is there to say that she hasn't already said? )

[comeonthensexy]

Amelia Williams.

[ That feels. So wrong to say. ]

[waitedforyears]

Pond. It's still Pond, Doctor.

( And she'll always be his Amy Pond, the girl who waited for him. That she's Rory's doesn't take away from that. )

[comeonthensexy]

[ That does get a smile that he doesn't have to force out of him. ]

Always.

[ He was just trying to place a distance, in vain. For who or why exactly, he doesn't know. ]

[waitedforyears]

( Her own smile is a little wobbly. The raggedy man, her Doctor, the man she waited for, the one she protected so fiercely when people told her he wasn't real.

She's never going to see him again. )

Yeah. Always.

( Would it be easier, she wonders, if she wrote to him, or if she gave him space? Let him forget about her. )

[comeonthensexy]

[ Forget about her? There's no such thing. He will never, ever forget about her. He forgets no one, and especially not all the brilliant people who travelled with him.

His best friends.

"My friends are always the best of me." ]

I'll miss you.

[ There's no point in not saying it, because they know. Maybe that's why he shouldn't, too, especially because his voice is breaking like the rest of him, but...

Well.

She's already seen him at his worst. Worst for now. ]

[waitedforyears]

I'll miss you too.

( Damn him and all of this, because now she is crying again, silent tears -- for the loss of a friend, her best friend, and for his loss, too.

She chose this, but that doesn't make it easier. She chose this, because Rory is her husband and the man she loves, the one who's always been there. The Doctor's her best friend, her adventure, part of her soul, but she always knew that travelling with him was temporary. If not for her, then for him. Rory, Rory is her forever.

She knew it was temporary but she thought it'd be different. Not quite so final. Visits for Christmas; both him and River dropping by sometimes, coming to see them. She'd counted on it.

And now she chose to leave him completely. )

Just promise me— promise me you won't travel alone.

[comeonthensexy]

[ This is how things go. The Doctor falls into someone's life and then he takes them along for the greatest adventure they'll ever have, and in the end, one way or another, it ends. They leave him, he leaves them or they're ripped apart one way or another.

He's lost count of how many times his heart has been broken, just as he's lost count of his own years.

His eyes burn, everything burns, and he takes a deep breath as he pulls Amy to him, runs his fingers through her hair and places a kiss at the top of her head. Like he didn't get a chance to.

His Amy Pond. The best of him. The brightest light in his life coloured like fire. ]

Even if I tried, I probably wouldn't succeed.

[ People fall into his life as much as he falls into theirs.

And the least he can do for Amy now... ]

I promise.

[waitedforyears]

You get stupid when you travel alone.

( He shouldn't be alone. So old and kind and the very last of his species. It's how she first saw him and everything that's come after has only cemented her understanding of this one fact: that the Doctor should not be alone.

He loses himself when he's alone, and she can't fool herself that she's the only one who's ever helped with that or that she'll be the last one and right now, she's thankful for that.

Fingers clutching at his jacket, even as she's laughing wetly. ) Don't be stupid, yeah?

[comeonthensexy]

[ And when he gets stupid, people get hurt.

People always get hurt, but more people get hurt when he's stupid. Emotional. Careless. ]

I'll find someone who'll stop me if I am.

[waitedforyears]

Good. ( She's trying to keep herself from sniffing, keep her eyes from welling up again. She won't be there anymore to make sure that he doesn't do something stupid like keep himself apart and wallow in misery or blame himself for what's happened here. )

Remember that this was my choice, Doctor.

[comeonthensexy]

[ He'll always blame himself for what happens to his companions, Amy. ]

You shouldn't have had to make it in the first place.

[waitedforyears]

You're already doing it. ( Punching his shoulder is the only way Amy Pond knows to express what she's trying to get across. )

It was our choice to keep travelling with you.

[comeonthensexy]

[ With a bit of a sigh, he rubs said shoulder. Even if it doesn't hurt. It couldn't even if it was meant to.

He shouldn't have come back. ]

But I was responsible for you. It's my ship. I'm the captain, the marshal. I'm supposed to protect you and bring you back home.

[ No matter how much he knows it's an impossible promise to keep every time. ]

[waitedforyears]

It was our choice. ( Her choice, too, to let the Angel take her rather than going back into the TARDIS with the Doctor and River.

Her choice to leave her best friend and her daughter so that she could be with her husband. River has outgrown Amy long before Amy even knew River was her daughter. )

We'll be all right, Doctor. I'll have Rory and he'll have me and we'll miss you, but we'll be fine. It's not that bad, really.

[comeonthensexy]

[ A breath. ]

I know you will.

[ And you're not dead, that is a victory in itself. There is one thing that keeps ringing and ringing in his head that he doesn't say, though.

But what about me? ]

[waitedforyears]

( He'll be fine. He has to be -- she has to believe that she will be. He's so much older and he's seen so much more and they're just two out of all of the people that he's travelled with.

There's a paradox right there, because they're just two faces of the many that he's seen and she believes that and at the same time she knows that they're special, she's his best friend as much as he's hers and of course this will break his heart.

It breaks hers, too, to know that she will never see him again. )

Just don't be alone.

[comeonthensexy]

[ They're special because they're the Ponds, they're his first and no one else can take that spot. The first of the Doctor's eleventh incarnation.

And to think he had almost begun expecting it to last forever.

Naïve, that. He knows better. Should know better. ]

I won't be. I'm not.

[ For now, there is still River. ]

[waitedforyears]

River's a good girl. ( And Amy can't help but think of River's broken wrist and of River telling her to never let the Doctor see damage. She may not have raised Melody Pond, but River's still her child, her only daughter. )

Take care of her.

( Looking away because she refuses to cry again. ) You take care of each other, all right?

[comeonthensexy]

[ Swallowing, he takes ahold of her hands and squeezes them. ]

We will. I'll keep her safe, and I'll save her. This time, I know for sure that I will.

[waitedforyears]

( Why must goodbye hurt this much and be this final? Why? )

Good.

( She's trying so hard to be strong. Don't forget her, Doctor, don't you dare forget her. )

[comeonthensexy]

[ He won't. He forgets no one, and he could never forget the Ponds. The Williams. The Pond-Williams. ]

I'm sorry.

[waitedforyears]

( One more thing he won't be able to fix. She learnt years ago that he isn't the omnipotent man she made him out to be in her childhood. )

Me too. ( She had to chose Rory, but she's still leaving the Doctor. )

[comeonthensexy]

Amy--

[ There's so much he wants to say that he doesn't even know where to begin. He doesn't know if he can even find the words. How much he loves her and Rory is beyond words, so how does he even begin? ]

[waitedforyears]

( She laughs, because if she doesn't she'd be crying and she's trying. She's trying not to. And if the laughter is a little wet and a little desperate, maybe he won't call her out on it. )

I love you, raggedy man.