voice testing oh dear

[telemysticist]

Aw now ain't you just a peach finally takin' the time for lil' ol' me!
... Ya see what I did there? Peach? 'Cause ya just moved'ta Georgia!
[He giggles adorably, deliberately making it adorable.]

But I gotta tell ya, I really ain't sure what ya worried about what with the new episode n' all. Ah'mean, what the heck's even a "yandere" and why ya afraid I ain't gonna be one anymore? Why ya thinkin' 'bout some crazy moon language when we got some fun ta'be had? And yaknow, some wrath to invoke...

We're gonna have just an enchantin' time, you and me! Ya askin' how I know, you're forgettin'...
[He whispers...]
I know how'ta see the future!

Now, uh, how many Mabels did ya say you'd seen 'round here again?

Comments

[littledipper]

...You have got to be kidding me.

[telemysticist]

Oh no, this ain't no joke, my friend.
[Creepy whisper]
No. Joke.

I told y'all ya ain't seen the last'a me, and ya never will! Not 'til your sister is MINE, ya hear? ALL. MINE!

[beadazzled]

Uh.

We're not around here. You should go look somewhere else! Yeah! I bet there's a lot of me over in that direction! Like whole crates of me!

1/2

[telemysticist]

[GASP]
MY SWEET DUMPLIN'!

2/2

[telemysticist]

[Gideon's just gonna take your hand, Mabel, raise it up and start coveting it, petting it like it's some kind of endangered animal.]

Oh darlin', ya know it only takes one'a you ta'light up my heart like the Fourth'a July!

Re: 2/2

[beadazzled]

[Your hand is like an endangered animal to Mabel too, Gideon. A dangerous, poisonous animal by the looks of how quickly Mabel pulls her hand away.]

Look, Gideon....


You're a....sweet [wow she is trying her hardest not to be angry/disgusted at you after all you've done] guy. I think, you know...there are probably girls who would appreciate that a lot better out there. I'm just not in to sweet guys. I'm a bad boys type of girl.

[Oh please buy this. Please buy this and leave here Nd here family alone.]

[telemysticist]

B-But...

[gosh does he look and sound desperate.]

I can be a bad boy! I can be anythin' ya want me ta'be! Ya make me feel like I can be anythin' at all, 'cause there just ain't no girl that sparkles brighter than you!

[beadazzled]

Heh, I know. It's probably all the glitter I rolled around in today! See I-

[Oh wait. This is Gideon.]

It's just...I don't think we're compatible! And there's plenty of other girls in Gravity Falls! Like Pacifica!

[telemysticist]

[He seems almost disgusted at the notion.]

Why would I even give the time'a day ta'that lil' harpie? Some guys might care if she's worth a buck or two, but I ain't one'a them! [Probably because he's already spoiled rotten and has plenty of money of his own from being a child celebrity.] Ya can't put a price on a girl that shimmers brighter than a diamond rainbow!

[beadazzled]

[Okay. Mabel actually ends up giggling a little bit at that.]

Really? I mean-

[...Man, Gideon, why do you have to be able to be so sweet and such a manipulative jerk at the same time.]

Stop doing that! Just be one way!

[telemysticist]

[Yaknow what they say, all the good guys are taken or crazy. Or gnomes.]

A'course, my sugar-lump! Like I said I'll be whatever way ya want! Whatever it takes for Lil' Ol' Me ta'steal your heart away, just say the word!

[beadazzled]

No! Gideon! That's not what I mean! I mean leave me alone!

[Oh. That came out...a little rougher than she meant it to...]

I mean....

1/2

[telemysticist]

[Owch.]

... No. I... I understand.

2/2

[telemysticist]

It's your BROTHER AGAIN, AIN'T IT?!

Re: 2/2

[beadazzled]

NO!

[And now she's verging on being angry again. Trying to threaten or act angry towards her brother is a no no.]

....it isn't Dipper. It was never Dipper. I didn't want to be your girlfriend but I didn't want to hurt you by saying no. Because you we're a great friend but... Not that kind off friend.

[telemysticist]

YOU'RE LYIN'! You're just sayin' that 'cause he's MAKIN' YOU say that!
It's 'cause he's afraid a'me, right?! 'Fraid'a someone takin' ya away from him?!

[He suddenly grabs her arm possessively.]

You ain't a little girl anymore, Mabel, ya don't need him! I AIN'T GONNA LET HIM CONTROL YOUR LIFE!

[bezazzled]

[Oh good golly gravy why is Gideon here. Maybe if she just...

She holds up a rather round little pig in front of her face and wiggles him to and fro, lowering her voice.]

Mabels? Nope, no Mabels around here. Nobody but pigs. Lots of pigs! You can go look somewhere else now.

[telemysticist]

[Gideon excitedly takes the pig from Mabel's hands, raising him up.]

Honey-dumplin', is this your pet? Now ain't he just the most darn precious lil' thing!
[Looking back at Mabel]
Matches his owner right perfect I must say.

[bezazzled]

[Oh no, her cover is blown! ABORT, ABORT! Waddles, forgive her for letting you fall into the wrong hands!]

Waddles is cute, but-- Look, Gideon, flattery's not going to get you anywhere this time.

[telemysticist]

"Waddles"? That his name? Sweet buttery biscuits, that's downright adorable! Aw but sugar, I knew ya wouldn't call him anythin' that wasn't perfect!

[He seems to be ignoring her "flattery isn't going to get you anywhere" comment at the moment, possibly on purpose. He pets Waddles behind the ears, who turns his head and gives a curious oink. 'Are you a pig too?' Waddles must be wondering, 'You're fat like one!']

[bezazzled]

[Mabel would join in and muse on the similarities and wonder if they weren't long lost cousins, but dealing with Gideon is always tricky business.]

Ahaha, yeahhh. I'll just take him off your hands now. It's almost his nap time and he can get pretty cranky if he doesn't get his beauty rest.

[Reaching for Waddles now. Give him back!]

[telemysticist]

[He happily returns the pig to Mabel, while deliberately making an adorable face at her.]

Alright, anythin' ya say, my lil' candymuffin!

[bezazzled]

[Not the cute face! Why is it so charming? Mabel has to really concentrate not to fall for that one again as she takes Waddles back into her arms.]

And stop calling me candymuffin or puddingpeach, or any other endearing food-related names. I told you that I didn't like you like that, remember? It was right before you started acting like a jerk to my brother.

[telemysticist]

[Gideon suddenly frowns, changing from his purposely ridiculously cute face to a far more sour expression. Very sour. Like one hundred lemons sour.]

Your brother was gettin' in the way.
And he prolly told ya ta'say that too, didn't he?

[bezazzled]

My brother didn't tell me to say anything I already didn't want to. I just didn't know how to tell you because you were so nice to me. Too nice, in fact. I mean like, really, overly, extremely off the charts nice to me.

[telemysticist]

THEN WHY DON'T YA LIKE ME CALLIN' YA MY SWEET APPLE PIE FRESH OUTTA THE OVEN?!

[Yikes. Those harsh mood swings might be a reason, for starters.]

[bezazzled]

[GIDEON PLZ]

Because! I tried to tell you that I just wanted to be friends! Just friends. You know! Buddies? Pals? Not boyfriend/girlfriend?

[telemysticist]

... Just friends?

[Like the flick of a bipolar switch his expression softens again, this time looking... heartbroken. Genuinely.]

... But I...
I don't understand why.
I tried so hard ta'make ya happy...
Wasn't I good enough?

[meng_huan_myuu]

So, ahhhh... how's that new personality workin' out for ya?

Definitely did a good job pissin' off your mun.

[telemysticist]

...

[Pause.]

Actually I got no idea what you're talkin' about! Now a'did hear through the grapevine she was real mad 'bout somethin' last night, and yaknow a'do think it was somethin' 'bout me, but I confess I honestly don't know a darn thing about it! She ain't tellin' me, whatever it is.
Ya think I oughta ask her? But yaknow I don't wanna go diggin' the hole deeper if a'did somethin'...

[Translation: He's a coward. And purposely not canon-updated.]

[meng_huan_myuu]

Yandere is when you always make sure to do what's right for the one you love, even if it hurts.

[Translation: O RLY? Prove it.]

[telemysticist]

So that's what that means! Well shoot, if I don't do that for my sweet peach dumplin' Mabel! I could make her the happiest girl in the world and give her everythin' she EVER wanted...
Only trouble is her family's gettin' in the way.

But that's alright. They ain't gonna be a problem much longer.
I'm gonna make sure'a that.