Canon is Buddy Cops!

[straightlaced]

I do not think you've thought this through very well. This is not a very appropriate use of your non-duty time.

Perhaps, if I am to make a suggestion, you could take up a more relaxing hobby? Particularly one that does not involve me, as I have found few people that try the patience I am programmed with, and you are quickly becoming one of them. If you will excuse me, I am sure there is paperwork that needs to be done, that my partner is not doing.

Comments

[botvanwinkle]

You seem to uh, like rules a lot? [ WHY IS HE TERRIBLE AT SMALL TALK... ] It reminds me of a bot.

[straightlaced]

The rules are there for a reason, they should be well-liked.

[botvanwinkle]

Right. You haven't... debated the importance of a semi-colon in a book of law, have you?

[straightlaced]

No.

[ A pause. ]

Although there would be merit, if it was being interpreted incorrectly.

[botvanwinkle]

I knew it.

[straightlaced]

This would be an interesting conundrum. I would confer with my programmer on this matter, but I do not think he would have the answer I am looking for.

[uranass]

Puh-lease. Paperwork will always be there, Taz.

[straightlaced]

But if you do not do it, we will have a pile of paperwork.

It will grow.

[uranass]

First of all, I don't care.

Second of all, I don't care.

Third of all, paperwork's your job. You could take the computer out for dinner when you're done. Call it a night. Don't waste my time with this bullshit.

[straightlaced]

Don't be crass. The computer is a co-worker, and dating co-workers is against regulation, as well as common sense.

[uranass]

No one fucking cares! Only you would even think to call the computer a coworker!

[straightlaced]

The chief appreciates having a fully closed case on his desk, because of that I am more eligible for promotion than you are.

And, presumably, that means he cares.

[uranass]

Hey. Those cases would still be out there crushing New York if I was inside doing paperwork. I got better things to do.

[straightlaced]

Perhaps you could think about cutting out time from your drinking habit.

[uranass]

You're not the boss of me! We're partners.

[straightlaced]

Maybe, but that does not mean you are without fault. I am just pointing it out.

[psychotherapist]

Patience is a definite advantage in many lines of work, yes.

What is it you do, if you don't mind my asking?

[straightlaced]

I am a cop. I work for the NYPD to handle monster attacks.

[psychotherapist]

For--what is the NYPD?

[somebody never went to Earth yo]

That sounds like a worthy goal, though.

[straightlaced]

The NYPD is the New York Police Department. We specialize in law enforcement and civilian protection. From the monsters, as well as the aliens.

[psychotherapist]

Organic, or inorganic aliens?

[bro you look inorganic but in a weird way BUT HE'S NOT JUDGING]

[straightlaced]

Mostly organic. We are interested in the creatures that are bent on destroying civilians.

[ A beat. Look, he's all about the code, he really don't care as long as people are nice to the innocent children. ]

Do you have experience with these types of aliens?

[psychotherapist]

I see. [:c] You--could say I am one. My people have, from what I understand, been notoriously poor houseguests on Earth.

[SO SORRY IF IT WAS US basically]

[straightlaced]

That is alright, we judge on a case-by-case basis. You do not seem to be the type that will eat humans.

[psychotherapist]

Eat--[slightly amused] No. No. Never. I think the problem in general is just a ...generally poor disposition toward organic life.

I take it you don't have that cultural bias, since you're intent on protecting them.