dear_mun | canon is buddy cops (of dark horse presents)

Hey... sweetheart. You know, people'll say what they will about things like restraint and taste and priorities, but you know what I say? I say, c'monnnnnnn.

C'monnnnnn.

Why not?

You can't seriously be considering playing some other guy over me. Taste and priorities, you know I'm a lot cooler than that old stick in the mud. Not t'mention way more open-minded, and good-looking, and I can fly.

And I got a sword. A friggin' huge awesome space sword.

I'm no one's back-up, okay? I don't see what the big choice here is. Get over it and let me kick some monster ass already. I'll even partner up with another robot, but who the fuck wants to wait around?! "Barely any canon" and "other plans" and "better plans" and "just having fun" aren't like, real reasons. Do I have flash some leg here or what. A guy shouldn't have to deal with this kind of rejection after having to slice n' dice his alien daughter's massive and many viney appendages so that she falls to her probable doom. I'm beside myself with anguish here, you heartless bitch.

C'mon. Y'know you wanna.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I can see the grief rolling off you in waves.

Hey, don't judge the way I express my sorrow!

Too late.

What would you do if your daughter was trying to eat the city? Huh?

Depends on how much I like the city in question.

And then she was gonna eat the world.

Result of bad parenting, or what?

She didn't get it from me, I raised her right.

Mm'hmm.

...Sorry 'bout your kid.

Eh, well, she is technically an evil world-destroying parasite. [ Beat. ] But she was my evil world-destroying parasite...

Should I even ask how that happened?

Which part? You gotta know how babies are made.

I have some idea about that part, yeah.

(no subject)

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You're rather like the annoying Green Lantern, except with less ginger perhaps.

With less ginger snaps? What the fuck does that mean? And I'm nothing like whoever that guy is!

Already I regret this.

Regret what? Are my goggles intimidating you?

Of all the things, you choose the goggles? That says more about your self-esteem than you'd anticipate, I'm sure.

I figured it'd either be the goggles or the sword. I couldn't blame you for the sword, though. It's supposed to be intimidating.

How Freudian is that sword meant to be, exactly?

If you mean size-wise, no one's ever complained. If you're asking do I hit and chop up monsters with my junk, no. I don't even think I could do that if I wanted to.

Really? You seem like the type.

Yeah, really. If my junk's anywhere near a monster I'm obviously not going to be slicing it up an' shit.

Come again?

That's what she said.

enigmaestro - 2012-09-22 09:49 (UTC) - Expand

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