dear_mun | no shut up stiles and do my evil bidding

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canon: teen wolf

no shut up stiles and do my evil bidding

Come on, you put more forethought into baking banana bread than you do this. This is my well-being we're talking about! You're releasing a teenage boy into the wild and expecting him to fend for himself? It's a dangerous world out there! You can't just, like, clap a spear into someone's hand and send them on their merry anymore. This is 2012. And also not- the Hunger Games.

Plus, I mean, the last time you took a run at this, I, in some roundabout way, ended up hitting on a dead pig.

So, uh. With kind regard. Put me down.

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Spears are... bad weapons. Easy to grab, too big. Should use hands.

[ head

tilt ]

I'm- not so sure I like the whole spear versus bare hands idea. Given the choice of something versus nothing, I think I'd go, y'know. Pointy thing.

Edited 2012-09-20 20:04 (UTC)

Can use pointy thing on you. Better to use hands. Less... accidental stabs.

[ Cue a mildly overwhelmed flail of his arms. ] Oh, great, so I can be hypothetically strangled to death instead of gutted. I don't think I like this scenario no matter what.

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hellofist - 2012-09-22 03:13 (UTC) - Expand

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hellofist - 2012-09-27 01:28 (UTC) - Expand

Oh please, I was taking care of myself when I was 12. You're what 16?

Though ew, dead pigs? It wasn't still moving was it?

Yeah, and fending's changed over the years! It's less how to make a bowl of cereal and more, [ wolves and kidnappings and giant lizards and, ] other things.

What? [ His head shakes confusedly, hands on his hips questioningly. ] No, it was dancing a jig, I think, last I checked. Dude, it was dead.

At thirteen I dealt with zombies. [Oh Sherry try to act like the adult here...]

Dead doesn't mean anything where I'm from really.

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You're like an endless trainwreck. How do you do it? How is that possible? Was that a Lord of the Flies reference?

[ - inward screaming ]

Aw, thanks, I take pride in my work.

No, no, no, see, we're going more modern. This is post-coma pop culture references. See how that works?

Oh, my apologies, I'll try not to overestimate you from now on. By the way, maybe you should lay off on the meds. Your heart's going like a hamster.

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stiling - 2012-09-20 21:32 (UTC) - Expand

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burninhale - 2012-09-22 04:32 (UTC) - Expand

...LMAO I MEANT BACK FROM THE DEAD hfddfn oh god i think i'm tired

stiling - 2012-09-22 05:13 (UTC) - Expand

HAHA oh, I was like "WELL I'M GONNA BLAME THIS ON HIS 6 YRS COMATOSENESS"

burninhale - 2012-09-22 05:25 (UTC) - Expand

and i don't even have a coma to excuse me, face in hands

stiling - 2012-09-22 16:07 (UTC) - Expand

Freud is judging that slip ohoho

burninhale - 2012-09-22 16:20 (UTC) - Expand

SCREA-

stiling - 2012-09-23 04:10 (UTC) - Expand

also i swear i'm not just always here waiting for your tag >_> I WAS OUT ALL NIGHT just came back

burninhale - 2012-09-23 04:21 (UTC) - Expand

pffff UH HUH SURE. -- i am, however, basically camping on yours, ngl

stiling - 2012-09-23 04:57 (UTC) - Expand

oh :3

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burninhale - 2012-09-23 05:34 (UTC) - Expand

Gee, if someone bother you just punch them.

Oh and hitting on a dead pig? You're a total mug.

[Have a moody and violent gay teenager Stiles...]

And then be punched in return and that's just not my thing. I try to avoid the whole being punched thing.

So is mug a good or a bad thing? You're being so British right now, it's crazy, I can't tell.

Sounds like my ex. But he had reasons for hating violence. But if the circumstances require it then... [Shrugs] I tend to keep my temper in check nowadays though.

Oh you're American? Well, mug means idiot in fine Yorkshire dialect. [Smirks]

Edited 2012-09-20 23:25 (UTC)

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Dead... what?

[ OH HEY BUDDY H-HAHA ]

You know, one of those oinking pink things. Starring not in the diets of Jews across the nation. "That'll do"?

I know what a pig is! [Gosh.]

I meant, what were you doing hitting on one. Er, a dead one.

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totallyhisniece - 2012-09-27 00:15 (UTC) - Expand

Okay, two things. One... do you actually, currently, right now have a spear? Or was that just some uber deep metaphor that really has nothing to do with anything ever. And TWO!

[Getting all comfortable for story time up in this bitch.] Dead pig? Please go on.

What? [ He plucks at his clothes, like as if to show any concealed weapons within. (Hint: There is only scrawny teenager.) ] Yeah, I think I must have left it in my other pants with the machete. Spear's a little too, uh, gladiator for the non-metaphor thing, I think.

[ WHY DO, KENZI ] Everyone's all over the pig, y'know, I think you all have some disturbing fetishes you need to look into.

Honey, if there was a machete in your pants, current or other, you wouldn't have to be worried about fending for yourself. You'd just be worried about fending off the masses.

[WINKWINK! So subtle.]

Trust me when I say that dead pig is probably not the most disturbing of fetishes. You do not want to know about disturbing fetishes. [She claps her hands over her heart dramatically] I don't even want to know what I know!

... Also, is there any of that effort-tacular banana bread floating around? Totes starving.

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onteamdyson - 2012-09-23 23:47 (UTC) - Expand

Somehow my mun has entirely disregarded the whole dead pig thing and is stuck on "Teen Wolf Hunger Games," so I'll say it instead.

A dead pig? Really?

[ gah ]

Everyone's all about the dead pig! You've all got disturbing problems and your fetishes are not okay.

You are the one who said you flirted with a dead pig just now... That's a new low even for you.

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stiling - 2012-09-22 16:42 (UTC) - Expand

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triskeled - 2012-09-23 10:23 (UTC) - Expand

No one should be giving you spears.

"Metaphor" just isn't really a thing in your repertoire, is it?

Would it be better if I said she shouldn't be inflicting you on anyone?

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