no shut up stiles and do my evil bidding

[stiling]

Come on, you put more forethought into baking banana bread than you do this. This is my well-being we're talking about! You're releasing a teenage boy into the wild and expecting him to fend for himself? It's a dangerous world out there! You can't just, like, clap a spear into someone's hand and send them on their merry anymore. This is 2012. And also not- the Hunger Games.

Plus, I mean, the last time you took a run at this, I, in some roundabout way, ended up hitting on a dead pig.

So, uh. With kind regard. Put me down.

Comments

[hellofist]

Spears are... bad weapons. Easy to grab, too big. Should use hands.

[weaponmadeperfect]

Oh please, I was taking care of myself when I was 12. You're what 16?

Though ew, dead pigs? It wasn't still moving was it?

[stiling]

[ head

tilt ]

I'm- not so sure I like the whole spear versus bare hands idea. Given the choice of something versus nothing, I think I'd go, y'know. Pointy thing.

[stiling]

Yeah, and fending's changed over the years! It's less how to make a bowl of cereal and more, [ wolves and kidnappings and giant lizards and, ] other things.

What? [ His head shakes confusedly, hands on his hips questioningly. ] No, it was dancing a jig, I think, last I checked. Dude, it was dead.

[weaponmadeperfect]

At thirteen I dealt with zombies. [Oh Sherry try to act like the adult here...]

Dead doesn't mean anything where I'm from really.

[burninhale]

You're like an endless trainwreck. How do you do it? How is that possible? Was that a Lord of the Flies reference?

[stiling]

Yes! And bears and skeletons and Templars. See? I play video games too.

Um. [ Squint. ] From where, the Lazarus pit? Death- death kinda means death everywhere. [ Most of the time. Almost all the time. Like 99.9% of the time. ]

[stiling]

[ - inward screaming ]

Aw, thanks, I take pride in my work.

No, no, no, see, we're going more modern. This is post-coma pop culture references. See how that works?

[weaponmadeperfect]

[This is Sherry face palming] You're from one of those worlds where they have a game called Resident Evil aren't you? If you've played the second game... Well I was that little kid. [She has heard it from others in her mun's headspace.]

Which explains how they can rise again where I'm from. [She's in the .00000001% of that one]

[burninhale]

Oh, my apologies, I'll try not to overestimate you from now on. By the way, maybe you should lay off on the meds. Your heart's going like a hamster.

[stiling]

[ He's gonna believe it, heeeee's gonna believe it, he's gonna believe it - ]

Oooookay, I think someone in this room takes their fandoms waaayyyy too seriously. Let's take bets on who.

[ Or not. ]

[weaponmadeperfect]

Not me. Most my bookmarks are web comics like penny arcade and MegaTokyo. Who can take those seriously.

[okay maybe not, but like she's going to hand over the tablet she has medical files up on.]

[stiling]

[ h-haha. He looks down guiltily at first, then taps a fist a couple times against his chest. But it's better Adderall than pure unadulterated fear, he guesses. ] I was thinking more like a howler monkey.

Hey, it's only fair: we'll trade off. I'll try to refrain from my best Walking Dead jokes.

[stiling]

Web comics? Uh, I guess it depends on which Homestuck fan you ask.

You're for real, aren't you?

[teenagebadboy]

Gee, if someone bother you just punch them.

Oh and hitting on a dead pig? You're a total mug.

[Have a moody and violent gay teenager Stiles...]

[stiling]

And then be punched in return and that's just not my thing. I try to avoid the whole being punched thing.

So is mug a good or a bad thing? You're being so British right now, it's crazy, I can't tell.

[mrsallisonargent]

Dead... what?

[stiling]

[ OH HEY BUDDY H-HAHA ]

You know, one of those oinking pink things. Starring not in the diets of Jews across the nation. "That'll do"?

[mrsallisonargent]

I know what a pig is! [Gosh.]

I meant, what were you doing hitting on one. Er, a dead one.

[stiling]

You should, your bunch keeps blowing down their houses. [ heh heh sideways grin ]

It - was a long story, filled with many an attractive blonde. One blonde. It was a lab. I hold no responsibility for the perpetuation of this whole pig thing.

[teenagebadboy]

Sounds like my ex. But he had reasons for hating violence. But if the circumstances require it then... [Shrugs] I tend to keep my temper in check nowadays though.

Oh you're American? Well, mug means idiot in fine Yorkshire dialect. [Smirks]

[burninhale]

Actually I was looking forward to those. I mean, yes, I had to get killed by a bunch of teenagers first, but I think the unholy resurrection thing is probably the coolest thing I've done in my life.

That said, aim higher, Stiles. Maybe literally, if you're stuck with a spear.

[totallyhisniece]

Whatever, you were two seconds from sticking it to the pig, Stiles. Stop denying it.

[hellofist]

Can use pointy thing on you. Better to use hands. Less... accidental stabs.

[weaponmadeperfect]

That one confuses the hell out of me.

And yes. I'm Sherry Birkin.