Obligatory

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

No, I'm not doing it. It's ridiculous!

[...]

Looks, there's a lot more to piracy than that. There's a number of unique sociopolicial factors which explain the development of the practice, not to mention a unique structure of governance and a vibrant culture of --

[...]

I'm telling you, I'm not gonna -- you're not going to leave me alone until I do it, are you?

[:|b]

*sigh*

...Arrrrrr mateys.

If anybody be wanting me, I be going to erode my insides with grog now.

Comments

[mighty_pirate]

Ever wonder if we just drink that stuff because we think we're supposed to?

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

I'd say it's a combination of that and terrible 17th century water filtration methodology.

[no_vampires_plz]

You guys do know that real grog was basically lemonade with rum in it, right?

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

No no, this is pirate grog. Totally different substance. Trust me, I've seen that stuff eat through tin.

[myowncherrypie]

[At the least, your humiliation seems to have garnered a fan. She's smiling and applauding approvingly.]

Hahah, you're good at that!

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Uh... thanks?

*Oh no, his ego is smacking him around on two totally different fronts! Not fair!*

[myowncherrypie]

You're welcome! Are you really a pirate, or just pretending?

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Of course I'm a pirate! I'm a MIGHTY Pirate (tm)!

[myowncherrypie]

Wow, that's amazing! I've never met a real pirate before. My friend Yu likes to dress up like one, but he's... not exactly... [She trails off with a somewhat sympathetic laugh. Even though he's not there, she can't bring herself to be too harsh on the guy.]

Have you found hidden treasures?

[hyperkinetic]

Hey, Manbroom! Serve me a pint of that corrosive swill too, will ya? I need to drink to inefficacy.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Oh not one of YOU guys again. Don't you have some shoplifters to brutally massacre?

[hyperkinetic]

We would if it weren't for those godddamn zombies!

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Man, I HATE zombies. I wish they'd go away already.

[hyperkinetic]

Preaching to the choir, Dudesweep. I had enough of those rotting party animals when an effeminate vampire was in charge of 'em! Hell, I WAS a zombie for a while and I HATED myself!

[Sigh.]

Ya think if Sam and I turned back into 'em they'd care about us again? At least enough where we'd get somethin' more than a 50% discount for the fact we've been esoterically fighting crime for a quarter of a century?

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

I dunno. I was a zombie too, and I'm not really sure it's worth the hygienic deficit. Not to mention the lost limbs.

Besides, I think they might be doing something with fairy tales next, or something.

[hyperkinetic]

And the lack of a soul! I STILL feel like I need to wash my mouth out for the fact my body actually uttered the words that Flint Paper wasn't my hero anymore!

Yaknow, the space suits might not've worked with the old guys, but ya think some knight in shining armor getups would get us anywhere?

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Eh, couldn't hurt. Unless you fall down the stairs in that armor, anyway.

[hyperkinetic]

Sweet! We'll be at the next RenFaire haggling with the LARPers, and hopefully NOT get told Anthrocon isn't for another month this time!