for real considering; canon is it's always sunny in philadelphia

[scummy]

Beautiful heroines just begging to be swept off their feet by a mighty temptress like myself... or should I say, tempter.

Just apply the D.E.N.N.I.S. system, whip out my usual dastardly charm and I think I can totally settle in for the foreboding dreary life of some shit-stained city. Oh speaking of shit-stained. If Charlie's there, I'll have that covered too.

Not sure if I'm buying into the whole drooling monsters and New Age pagan curses though. That could also possibly translate to there being an ample supply of drugs and booze. Which could furthermore lead into another potential chance to get on welfare. Hence, providing me with the perfect opportunity to buy the more luxurious items and flats which are so clearly hidden somewhere in that place.

Just gotta know people. Know people and have money.

Though I'm kind of hesitant on the crack path again. It might cramp my perfectly sculpted cheekbones into hollow skeletal canyons. Thus limiting my choice of beautiful women and probably my dignity.

Comments

[eatyourbabies]

Those women deserve the warts they'll get if they fall for your goddamn system.



Now what the hell are you talking about?

[scummy]

Tactical brilliance at its finest, Sweet Dee.

And you should know I cleared those up ages ago. This bad boy can sport it commando anywhere, any time.

[eatyourbabies]

Brilliance? Now what lame idea do you have?

Gross. Don't scare them off by having your junk all there ready to go.

[scummy]

Aside from using my foolproof methods of getting what I want? Ha ha. Well. Like I said. They're foolproof. I think I'm covered.

Speaking of which, I would never disrespect a homely looking woman in such a way! There are definitely some diamonds in this place, but I'll hold off until they're melting away at my feet.

[milksteak]

Dude I think you're mistaking me for Frank. I mean just because we share the same bed doesn't mean we share the same underwear.

Oh wait.

We do.

[scummy]

Mmmmno. I'm not mistaking you for anyone. Pretty sure Charlie work carries on to other dimensions.

Also. I really really didn't want to hear that.

[milksteak]

Come on, bro. I'm done with scraping rat poop off of the bar top. Get Mac to do it.