on the latest episode and the mun's craving to play him

[timewarrior]

Yes, I murder things now. Got a problem with that?

Yes, I do too, actually. Well, I don't, but I do, and there's a lot of intricacies that bother me about myself but it's not like I can change any of those things too well too fast. I mean I just pop out of nowhere, a new man, ready to take on the world but having no idea what I'm like and what I like and don't like.

And even though I haven't been new for a while now, there are still things about myself I'm learning. For instance, I like guns now, too, in case you haven't noticed what the next episode's going to be about. I'm going to get into a gun fight! With an American! Surprised it's not like a big end finale sort of deal where I get to regenerate because I'd refuse to use a gun so I get shot. And that has to be because I don't refuse. I'm okay with it, and if you're correct then everyone will treat it like it's the most typical thing in the universe!

No, don't. Don't blame it all on River; it's not her fault I'm a hypocrite. I'll take responsibility where it lands, even if I like to run from it a lot of the time, and am still running and probably won't stop anytime soon…

The problem with you is all those things I never talk about you want me to talk about and I don't want to talk about them so this isn't going to work out.

So let's move on! What's on my Christmas list? Oh, wouldn't you like to know? I'm sure you can guess a few things.

[And finally, the Doctor addresses the whole of whoever's reading this post. Yes, Dear Mun, he's talking to you.]

What about you? Can you guess what's on my Christmas list? Put your answer in the box below!

That is how it works, isn't it? No? Too meta? Sorry, bit too late to take it back now…

Comments

[forever_sonic]

[She thinks about that a moment, then smirks.]

New socks and ginger hair dye.

[timewarrior]

No! Hair dye is cheating. It doesn't count if I'm a fake ginger.

But new socks. New socks is a good one.

[forever_sonic]

Could always use new socks, wit' all the runnin'. Well, I guess I oughta add that ta my list, now tha' I'm thinkin' on it.

[timewarrior]

Everyone could use new socks. There's absolutely nothing wrong with new socks.

[forever_sonic]

I've never done the 'ole Christmas shoppin' thing b'fore, so I'm 'fraid my choices aren't 'orribly creative...

All I want is to stick wit' ya as long as ya need me.

[timewarrior]

Wait, what?

Oh! You must be one of those... Alternate universe characters. Or, um, a character that normally isn't sentient but can become so because of the temperamental nature of this reality. So don't, don't tell me. I want to try and guess.

You said you want to stick with me as long as you're needed. Could be a companion, I have a lot of those throughout the years, and you look just about right to be one too but no, you seem more familiar with me than normal. Call it a hunch but I'm going to guess we've been traveling together a bit longer than that...

You say 'need' like you're some sort of constant. If you were a companion you'd say want, and I should know, I've needed companions before. Still do, I suppose. But for them it's different.

[Slap! Slap! Sorry Sonic but the Doctor's aiming to slap you twice across the face.]

Your accent is very distinctive and yet that's what makes it seem artificial. Are you in disguise? I suppose you must be, if given sentience when you had none before... Which means you can't be the TARDIS, since I've already spoken to her. Process of elimination, and -

[Reaching into his jacket pocket, the Doctor pulls out the only thing he could think of that's stayed with him long enough to be considered a constant in his travels. He holds his sonic screwdriver between them, looking back and forth as if there'd be some sort of resemblance.]

Blimey, this is weird.

[forever_sonic]

[Sonic doesn't mind the slapping, though she does rub her cheek and raise a brow at him.]

Was that really necessary?

[She then watches him pull out his own screwdriver, and the only relation seems to her eyes, which are the same green as the tip.]

Bloody 'ell, didn' realize I was tha' small.

[timewarrior]

Yes. Well, one typically does it to one's self to make sure you're awake but I wanted to make sure you were too. So what happens if I flash this in your eyes? Not that I will, that's a bit mean of me, but it's all so strange...

[The Doctor is looking back and forth again, fiddling with his screwdriver and turning the noise and light on and off again.]

Next thing you know you'll be telling me that's you talking - or worse, singing!

[hullo_sweetie]

Are you sure you're alright, sweetie?

[timewarrior]

Yes, fine, perfectly, normally fine. And how are you, River? Actually, where are you? Er, when? That's probably a better question.

[hullo_sweetie]

Crash of the Byzantium, actually. Doing quite well despite having to deal with your younger self - selves.

[timewarrior]

Good to hear you're doing well, River. I've met you when you were Mels now. That was fun! Killing Hitler - or, well, not actually killing Hitler. Thanks for blaming absolutely every bad thing that happened in history on me, by the way. Heard it all from Amy and Rory. And, also, thanks for killing me, or not actually killing me. You and killing, no wonder my mundane blames my newfound penchant for it on you. Even though it isn't your fault, it's never your fault. We're married, also. Am I forgetting anything? I might be, but that's because my mundane doesn't have the best memory. He's only seen my adventures once, and even then I think he might've skipped around a bit. Not exactly the best idea if you ask me.

[hullo_sweetie]

You're welcome, also try to remember I wasn't really myself back then. Or rather, I wasn't really the person I am today - oh you get it!

[She scoffs at him, dropping her hands to her hips]

Your mun blames it on me? She thinks I'm a bad influence on you?

[timewarrior]

Yes! Er, no. Actually, my mundane's a he, not a she. But if he were to regenerate into a woman, sure, she would think you're a bad influence on me. Probably. Who's to tell, honestly? But right now, he does. Sort of. He blames it more on the big M man. M-O-F-F-A-T man. But if he were to blame it on any one in-narrative influence, he would probably choose you.

[hullo_sweetie]

Most muns tend to be female, sorry.

[She nods her head]

Yeah, my mun's a bit unhappy with how the series has progressed so far. She's looking forward to episode five though, that's when I show up again.

[timewarrior]

Most but not all, and you know what they say about assuming...

Right! Episode five. You know my mundane's actually looking forward to seeing you interact with me after my next regeneration, because he heard you were going to, which you probably already have from this point in time for you but obviously I haven't because my face. Everything about my face just screams eleven and really it's when I have the same face that makes things sort of confusing. When I have different faces it's a lot easier to think of any particular point in time as separate. But you... you're all over the place and that's pretty fascinating if you ask him.

[justthedoctor]

Mun says she blames the guns an' violence an' murder thing on something called a "Moffat," but that she's been having so much fun enjoying the dinosaurs with me that it was sort of "fridge-logic" to her, whatever that means. We both agree the enire ordeal with the Daleks was complete and utter rubbish in more ways then one, though. And we're both more then a little concerned that I seem to be losing ground in the sanity department the way we did before we regenerated.....she is also of what she calls the "unpopular" opinion that she really doesn't like Oswin and thinks the only way she'll be redeemed is if she turns out to be Jenny, but I don't see how that will work out at all. After all, Jenny died. [:| ...ó_ò] There's no changing that. Just have to live with it and face facts and move on. It's what we always do. Even if Mun does do that irritaing, pitious cooing sound at me whenever I try an' tell her that.....Like she knows something I don't, and it really bugs me! [ ònó]

BUT! THE LIST! You want a fez! And a packet of jammy dodgers, some new bowties and suspenders because you can never have enough because what if you get an unfortunate stain on one of the ones you have??? And something just really absurd like a robit cat or something!

OH! And Mun keeps showin' me these pictures of this really goofy-looking bloke in her world, an actor who has the unfortunate luck of sharin' our face, and he keeps wearing derby hats and trilbies, and I have to agree, they would be quite cool to wear. Mun just bought her own trilby recently, a lovely little pinstriped thing, and it's made her watto give me one even more. Inquite like the idea, so I think I may put that on the list as well.

[timewarrior]

Yes, "Moffat" is at fault here. My mundane has talked about that a lot, and read a lot too. The show's going downhill, talking about this here's sexist, this is queerbaiting, all that good social justice talk that site is so fond of. My mundane is finally coming to terms with enjoying the show and finding issues with it at the same time, and he's still sad it's not the same as it was before, and it likely never will be again.

But! Right you are to bring up the list because look at us, ignoring the most important part of the conversation. You are absolutely right, you are, but you're also cheating, being me and all. Different mundane, yeah, but same person. So I declare you a cheater. [But he's smiling, so obviously there's not going to be all that bad a penalty for it.] Shall I guess what's on yours, then? Aside from what you've listed already?

[cridhe]

[Have a hard look from the TARDIS.]

Yes. I have a problem with you committing murder, Doctor.

[Not "Dear Doctor," not "My Pilot," just 'Doctor.' Cridhe is not happy.]

[timewarrior]

Oh.

[Well he didn't expect that. Didn't expect that at all - wait a minute.]

Who are you?

[cridhe]

[Oh, that question just makes her sad.]

Do you want me to use the names you call me? Or the name I call myself?

[Not that there is a huge difference.]

[timewarrior]

Um. Both would be lovely, actually. Just so we're clear.

[cridhe]

[She's almost playful now.]

Well, at first you refused to acknowledge my sentience at all. Your former fellow Time Lords would refuse to acknowledge any sentience a TARDIS possessed, which is why you struggled.

[Clearly she doesn't hold this against him.]

Then, I straightened you out.

[And what an adventure that was!]

Then you started to call me 'Old Girl' - or other such terms. That remained for a long time. More recently, you have been fond of calling me 'Sexy.'

In this form, you required a name for me, so I chose Cridhe McTardis.

[And she will just wait for the penny to drop on the play of words that she chose as her name.]

[timewarrior]

Oh - oh. It's you! Sexy, blimey. I should've expected this, what with Sonny Screwdriver over there. I mean, I've actually spoken to you before. I just didn't recognize you with the new face. Sorry about that, but I suppose I finally understand what it's like to be absolutely everyone else whenever I regenerate so you know it only makes sense it'd be you.

Cridhe McTardis, you say? Is it still all right if I just call you Sexy? It's a bit... simpler. But I promise I'll remember Cridhe if you'd rather. I mean, since it is the one you chose and all.

[cridhe]

[She looks bemused. He does not get it. Well, that is okay, he did not pass his pilot tests either.]

Doctor, Cridhe McTardis - Heart of the TARDIS.

[She sighs, no she is too clever for him.]

You may continue to call me Sexy, but only when we are alone.

[She looks confused, though.]

Did you say "Sonny Screwdriver"?

[WHAT!?]