dear_mun | initiating version 013... early dissidia

Oh, come on! No one wants to fade! What kinda life is that, huh?

[uh oh. Cheerful vibes. They buuuurn

Or not. He's still going into evasive.]

It's not. [kinda the point.] Haven't got a good reason to stay.

What? And livin' isn't a good enough reason? [ She shakes her head. ]

Come on. You gotta have friends, I know you do! That's reason enough, silly goose~!

No. It's -

[damn it, cheerful girl. Hit a weak spot.]

They're fine without me.

[unless Firion gets distracted with flowers again. Or Tidus over-reacts. Or Zidane and Bartz manage to turn Squall's hair white. Except - someone's missing. He knows it and he can't remember who - ]

They'll be fine.

And what makes you the guy to make that decision, huh? How do you know how your friends will feel with you gone? That's not fair to them, mister mopey-pants.

If I was your friend I would smack you for even considering that!

[did you just -

Mister mopey-pants...?

Mister mopey-pants?

No. Focus.

His pants are not mopey.]

I'm tired of doing what other people want just because they say I should. That's not a good enough reason. I won't be a puppet. The others have a reason. I - lost mine.

Then make a reason! Fading to nothing isn't an option. At all. You know what? It's gonna be my job to make you find a reason! Or drive you up the wall. Which ever you prefer.

[that's - wait - what?! No! No, that's not at all what he meant! He can't - and she's -

why does having women push into his life feel so familiar?

He's got a sinking feeling he already knows the answer but he's going to give it a try anyway.]

Can I prefer neither?

What? Do I smell or something? [ She giggles. She knew she didn't. This guy just wasn't very social. At least that's what she thought. ]

Nope! I can't have anyone I talk to just decide they wanna fade! That's definitely not allowed!

No. It's just -

[okay. There's really nothing he can say that's not going to get him in trouble here and for someone that can take on Chaos on his own, he's feeling very, very reluctant when it comes to taking on one tiny, perky girl. Fighter instincts tell him she's much more dangerous than the god of ultimate destruction. Maybe he can throw out a distraction]

I don't know where I'm going.

Pfft!

You're a gloomy one, huh?

...

[you say that like that's a bad thing -]

Sure.

Well you're not gonna get anywhere just sitting around moping about whatever your deal is!

Especially just trying to run away like that.

I'm not -

I'm not running away. There's no reason for me to be here.

Excuses, excuses!

At least own up to it. Geez.

[kid, if he knew you, he might care what your opinion of him is. He doesn't. Still - something about a bossy little girl is ringing a bell somewhere in the shadows of his mind...]

What's your reason for being here?

[Relm here likes to think everyone cares about her opinion.]

I don't have one!

And that's exactly why I'm gonna find one. You should too! It's lazy if you think purpose is just gonna fall into your lap, y'know!

[fair enough.

And you've got his attention. He... hadn't gotten that far himself. Thoughtful frown time until finally - ]

How?

[ shh, there's nothing wrong with relying on a ten year old for life lessons.]

You go out there and you find one! You don't even have to look real hard; somethin' will probably just hit you right in the face and that's that. Eventually.

[Big smarmy grin.]

Man, it's like when everyone grows up they just suddenly turn really dumb and overthink everything!

[he's not going to disagree with you, kid. Instead he's going to mull over the suggestion. He's here. He's not fading away. Which means he might as well make his own way and figure it out as he goes. If she's right - he'll find his purpose. Somehow - that feels pretty familiar. One problem.]

There? A game or memes or something like that?

Whatever you want it to be.

It's your little self-discovery journey after all, not mine.

Hm.

[good point. See? Nothing wrong with taking advice from little girls.]

I will.

[that miiiight be the smallest smile to one side of his lips.]

thanks.

[Punching his arm lightly.]

Good! Now if I catch you out here moping in public again and being a nuisance you're in for it pal, you got that?

[did she just - ? Except, it's been a long time since anyone's touched him in non-violent ways. Little girl arm punches don't count as violent. So there's a little chin duck and there's that hint of a smile again.]

Yeah. I'd like that.

You'd like that?

[...squinting.]

Are you one of those creepy guys who likes getting hurt?

[eyebrow arch response to that one. Kid - ]

Aren't you a little young to know about guys like that?

Hmph! I just so happen to be mature for my age.

I know way more than most of you adults do even.

[double eye brow arch this time but don't look at him. He might not remember it but he's the one that didn't say anything about leaving a five year old in charge of a bar. Ten is almost old enough to join the army. Still... creepy guys that like being hurt?]

Don't you have an adult around?

Just the old man, usually. My Grandpa. But he isn't here and my Mun really doubts he ever will show up.

There're others, but, uh, I sure haven't seen them around.

But it isn't like I need them! I can take care of myself.

[wow. That's - sure, she's smart and everything but - kids shouldn't be alone. Except maybe in houses while the world is busy ending but he wouldn't know about that! For the first time, he's going to go to a knee in front of her.]

You in one of these games I hear about?

[Oh, she sees what's going on here Cloud - she doesn't like that on-one-knee-for-the-kid routine. But she decides against saying anything about it.]

Nah. My player would never app me anywhere, they're too chicken to try and pull it off. I'll probably be here and maybe in a meme or two forever.

[deal with it, squirt. Until she hits a growth spurt, and she won't need a huge one, this is it. Eye level makes it easier for Cloud to see what's going on in her eyes over just what she's saying.]

Good. [from what he's heard these games are very kid friendly] If we're going to find our purpose, it looks like we'll have to visit some of these memes then.

You can never fade, Cloud. [I'd have no one to fight then.]

[he doesn't remember you well enough to want to fight. His hackles still go up. Some habits will never die.]

How would you know?

Because your own darkness holds you from fading into nothingness.

Shut up!

[maybe a little too fast and too angry, that denial. In this place he's got just enough shadows of memory of previous cycles to have that hit too close to home.]

Things are different here.

Temper, Cloud. You never could control it, could you?

[Was he smirking? Only slightly.]

How different?

Different enough.

[damn it, Sephiroth, he's running on stubborn here, not logical thought out conclusions. Stop expecting him to articulate. You know that's his weakness.

One of them.]

I am curious to know just how different you mean.

Fade.

[He repeats it, then shakes his head and sighs. Why you gotta be so difficult, bro?]

First you need a reason to fight, now you need one to exist?

[aw, Firion - why you gotta pull out the puppy dog eyes on him like that?]

I -

[what can he say that's not going to make him feel like he's kicking puppies?]

I don't have a dream the way you do. Or - I lost mine.

I think.

I want my reason for fighting to be my own.

[and he's early 012 so he hasn't swiped your rose and gone gallivanting off with it yet]

[Puppy eyes are just how his face looks, okay? He can't help it.]

You're not going to find one if you don't look, Cloud. I don't understand why you need a reason, but I know that much.

[have a grunt and a not quite there hint of a dry smile.]

That seems to be what everyone's telling me. [or at least two very -er, determined girls] I just -

...

do you ever feel like you're missing someone, Firion? Someone who should be there but you can't remember.

initiating version 013... early dissidia

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whoops late

Re: whoops late

Re: whoops late

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