Homeless, Considering scorched

[twinfucker]

I suppose I should be happy you're thinking of bringing me anywhere, my lady mundane. Let alone somewhere with both my sweet sister and the Maid of Tarth herself. Though you really should finish those books before making any decisions.

As for these... powers you're considering for me. You really could do better. I've never heard of this King Midas, or his touch, and I know not where to start with this... grappling hook hand, whatever that is.

Regardless, it'd be good to get out.

Comments

[a_wager_won]

I believe, if banner and blood and our good father are to go by, every hook's meant for a Tully.

[twinfucker]

Then I should pass on this power. The last thing I need is more Tullys.

[a_wager_won]

They seemed in no particular haste to meet with anything sharp under your command, Ser Jaime. Although perhaps we should let Catelyn Stark speak for their maids.

[twinfucker]

The maids would have shown a good deal more interest I am sure if Lord Edmund had allowed me to shave myself. But alas, that proved a difficult task with my hands bound.

[brotherfucker]

I suppose you'll have to enjoy your maid's company while you can.

[And she is side-eying the fuck out of that journal name. Not that hers is any better but still.]

[twinfucker]

[Seriously, hers is exactly as bad.]

And I suppose you'll continue enjoying the company of half of King's Landing?

[brotherfucker]

[g l a r e. Lookit her she thinks she's Tywin. D'aww.]

Rumors and lies, brother. Where did you hear such nonsense?

[twinfucker]

[she's been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know.]

I talked to Lancel. [And Tyrion.]

[brotherfucker]

The pious halfwit? [She laughs that easy, girlish laugh, all charm and ready to wipe whatever thoughts he's having out of his head.] And what did he have to say?

[twinfucker]

That he tasted that sweet cunt of yours.

nice username c:

[upheld]

You are possibly coming to Anatole?

I couldn't resist

[twinfucker]

Seems as likely a place as any, if I go anywhere. Why, do you miss me that much, wench?

[upheld]

[ yeah no.

okay... maybe. Just a little bit. Really. ]

You flatter yourself. I meant to tell you that it would not be the first time you were present, but I see you have been informed.

Our numbers have grown small, as of late.

[twinfucker]

Yes, my sweet sister was most forthcoming. [He shrugs nonchalantly.] Who's missing? The Stark brood? No great loss there.

[upheld]

Your brother was among us at one point, as well. [ pointedly ignoring the Stark comment la la la ] most of the Stark family, and King Robert to name a few.

[twinfucker]

My brother may yet come again. [Two versions of him are considering following Jaime, if he goes.] As for King Robert... I take it my sister was none too pleased to see him.

[burnsobright]

[Her lips may very well purse lightly at the mention of said Maid... Yet, given what has been told in that city, even if he shall not recall knowing it...]

A grappling hook hand... You are a Lannister, not a mummer's farce. That your mundane should remember.

[That she has missed him goes without saying.]

[twinfucker]

[Wouldn't hurt to say it. Jaime's been away a long time since I guess you're getting shortly after he comes back to King's Landing for canon point today.]

A Lannister always pays his debts. She'll get hers.

[burnsobright]

Include that username in the list of her debts to be paid.

[Although Anatole has heard first hand of it. Not that Cersei allows it to be true, and she shall continue to deny it as some perverseness on Eddard Stark's part.]

You were there, you do realize, when I first arrived.

[But you left.]

Although no hook...

[twinfucker]

I don't know. I like it. Makes me think of you, sweet sister.

[But he frowns at the news about his previous existence in Anatole.]

I didn't know. I don't remember.

[burnsobright]

[Dryly.]

I would have thought you had other things to remind you of be.

[Things not so crass. Or perhaps just a different sort of such, given who they were.

Green eyes steady, with not a hint of what stirs beneath. He had not exactly been pleased about everything.]

Months ago.

[The slightest hint of reproach. Yet, what is she without him? Incomplete. And he is the one who is allowed those glances behind those shields she keeps.]

Too long.

[twinfucker]

And other things as well, aye, but I can have many reminders, can I not?

[His expression softens.]

I would not have left had it been my choice. [He may not remember, but he's certain of that much. He loves Cersei. He'd never be away from her if he could help it.]

[burnsobright]

That does depend upon what those reminders are...

[In other words, yes. So long as they remain private.]

I should hope not. You have been gone far too long to begin with, only to depart from that horrid place as well.

[twinfucker]

I don't know. I can see benefits to a new home. Without a king or country or responsibilities. We could just... live.

[COME ON CERSEI, LET'S GET MARRIED AND LIVE TOGETHER WITHOUT SHAME IT'LL BE BEAUTIFUL LIKE OUR LOVE.]

[burnsobright]

And what of Joffrey. Of Renly and Stannis. People know who we are.

[twinfucker]

What of them? This isn't Westeros. They're neither king nor false kings. And Joffrey is our son.

[burnsobright]

And what? Shall you simply inform Joffrey of that fact?

[Because, no.]

[twinfucker]

Would it be so wrong for him to know his true parentage?

[burnsobright]

And how do you think he would take that?

[He, for whatever strange reason, idolizes Robert and believes he is his father. even if some things have been brought to Joffrey's attention...]

Honestly, Jaime.

[jocular]

You, my dear brother, urging the reading of books? Has the world gone entirely mad? Has the Wall crumbled and are dragons once more taking to the skies? Have I actually rubbed off on you?

As flattering as the thought is, what is this land you speak of and why, pray tell, would you be headed there?

Are the Seven Kingdoms not enough of a handful?

Forgive the barrage of questions, but I do have a questing mind. As you well know.

[twinfucker]

Apparently so, since I hear yours hasn't finished them. Before you know it, I'll be the scholar and you the knight. Won't that be something?

It is Anatole, and it's not my choice.

[jocular]

You can hardly hold that against me, now can you? I prod her daily, but alas she has a mind of her own and appears to be obsessed with someone else from the Watch, or a Watcher- I haven't been paying that much attention, to be honest.

But, you are indeed correct: the day I become the knight and you become the scholar is the day that all we hold to be true is upended and fools can become kings.

Then again, if madmen can be...

How bad can this Anatole be? Our precious sister is there, is that not incentive enough?

[twinfucker]

It may well be, depending on from when this Mun thinks to take me. I have missed her during my long months of captivity in the North.

[jocular]

Time is but a fluid thing, is it not? I, for one, did not much enjoy my captivity either. Although any women I might've missed at the time were nameless, faceless whores. Alas, neither the Lady Catelyn nor Lady Lysa were inclined to make my stay more pleasant. Fancy that.

I could do with a change of scenery myself, brother. Mayhap you'll find me lounging in one of Anatole's finer brothels some day.

[twinfucker]

And I'm sure you were the proper gentleman whey you suggested it. [He sounds amused.] Haven't heard tell of any brothels, but you always have had a talent for seeking those out, brother.

[jocular]

I'm always the proper gentleman, my dear brother. It's one of my considerable charms.

[He chuckles, though and sips at a cup of wine.]

You make me sound like a veritable cunt-hound. Able to sniff out the finest of fish-pie on the market.

[twinfucker]

Why deny your talents? The Mother makes us all different for a reason, does she not? Someone must find the whore houses.

[jocular]

The Mother made me a dwarf. We're not exactly on speaking terms at the moment.

As for my talents, perhaps I should be acting Hound instead of Hand. But I'm very good with my hand, amongst other things.

[twinfucker]

You wouldn't look nearly as menacing in that helmet as Sandor Clegane, I'm afraid.

[jocular]

True, but I'd look at least ten times more devilishly handsome.

[Not that he can ever hold a candle to his brother. Or his sister. Both of whom are as perfectly formed and beautiful to the eye as he is misshapen and ugly. But, at least he's inherited his father's keen rational mind. That's something, he supposes.]

[slayedaking]

There are worse places to go. Far worse.

[twinfucker]

And you'd know from experience?

[slayedaking]

Indeed.

The presence of our sweet sister, it seems, is the sole comfort these tittering women seek to give us. And it appears even that can be cold. [He's noticed that interaction with his otherself and Cersei where the suspicion and hurt weigh heavy.]

[twinfucker]

Oh, yes. You may not have learned it yet, but our sweet sister is really just a sweet whore.

[impishlyclever]

My rather foolish mundane is debating the thought of bringing me as well. She might have a chance, now that she is no longer reading the books at a snail's pace.

I was dreading the idea, since our dear sister will no doubt try to make me out to be a great idiot, but perhaps it will not be so bad with you there as well.

[twinfucker]

[Jaime likes both his siblings is that so wrong.]

It would be good to see a familiar face after my long captivity.

[impishlyclever]

[He only likes Cersei because she likes him back. Anyone their sister dislikes is in for a world of trouble, and Tyrion just so happens to have claimed some of that hatred in her heart.]

You aren't enjoying the cages and chains? I cannot possibly imagine why not.

[Because he had such a wonderful time at The Eyrie.]

[twinfucker]

Turns out I'm extremely ill-suited to being a captive. Unfortunately, the Starks don't seem to care.