Nervous voice test

[aceoffours]

Alright, mun. What about that voice test we've been talking about, then? Not that I'm trying to rush you or anything, no rush, don't worry. But you know, time is ticking away. Still, don't worry about it. Whenever you're ready.

Oh, you are ready? Alright then. Let's go. Voice test, voice test... Let's think about this for a moment. Ah! Got it! How about I read out some Shakespeare, test the old vocal cords for you?

You don't have that one? Oh, disappointing.

Comments

[doubletailpilot]

[...Well, this is a bit of an oddity if Tails ever saw one. He looks at the little robot, head tilted.]

...I don't think you HAVE vocal cords, technically.

Are you one of Robotnik's robots? 'Cause I don't wanna bust you if you're not...

[Since last he checked, 'badniks couldn't talk.]

[aceoffours]

Oh, yeah. Never thought of that.

Robotnik's robot? Nope. Don't think I remember ever being one of those. So I think we can forgo the beating, if you don't mind that is. [Nervously looking around.]

[doubletailpilot]

[Tails kneels down to better inspect the little core. Forgive him Wheatley, the kid's a mechanic so of course he's a bit curious as to how you work. :|; ]

Hm... You definitely don't LOOK like anything Robotnik would build, an' I don't see any room for animals trapped in you.

What are you, anyway?

[aceoffours]

[Wheatley's apprehensive but he can't do anything. Except for avoid direct eye contact.]

Animals? Oh, god no. No offence.

I'm, er, I'm an intelligence d-d-duhh, err, an intelligence sphere. Built to do clever things. You know, read books, do science, er, look... at paintings.

[doubletailpilot]

[Well, as long as you don't shoot lasers or ballistics at him then you should be fine. :D]

None taken since those're the 'bots I'm supposed to bust.

[Upon hearing Wheatley's explanation, Tails just... brightens.]

...That's really cool! I've definitely never seen an AI this responsive and articulate before, whoever built you did a pretty awesome job!

Who made you? Do you have a name?

[aceoffours]

[They told me if I did that I would die.]

Oh, really? Like, you really think so? Wow. I've, er, I've never seen a fox that can talk so much. Or, er, I've never seen a fox, actually.

The name's Wheatley. I was designed by some humans from Aperture Science. I've got all the gadgets. Flashlight and everything.

[doubletailpilot]

[They told you that about everything. D8 ]

Huh. [Blinkblink. Never seen a fox? Seems weird but, well, nexus. Not every planet is inhabited by talking animals. :|a]

I'm Tails! ...And I've never heard of Aperture Science before. Do they build a lotta robots like you?

[aceoffours]

[Some people live in underground facilities :c]

Oh yeah, thousands of them. Well, not thousands. Unless you count the turrets, of course. There's loads of them. Loads of turrets. Robots here and there, doing things. Mostly the things that humans don't want to do, of course.

[doubletailpilot]

Turrets? What d'ya need turrets for?

Do humans and robots all just live together where you're from?

[SIGH Tails so many questions good god. Eight year old kid here, sorry. B|; ]

[aceoffours]

Shooting things, I suppose. [Hey, you asked.]

I wouldn't say they live together, no, not as such. Er, or lived at all in the case of the humans I suppose. Sorry, bit insensitive there. But nonetheless, tragically true.

[evildoorstop]

Ha! What do you expect from a feeble mortal?

...

What are you? [Glowing eye! Always a potential eeeevil sign]

[aceoffours]

[Glowing eye looking right atcha, somewhat startled.]

I could ask you the same thing. If I didn't know the answer. Which is skull. A talking one, too, fancy that. Very scary. Well, if you had legs or something I suppose. Kind of a bit awkward at the moment, actually. How long have you been sitting there?

[evildoorstop]

Longer than you know! Bwahahaha!

[aceoffours]

Little bit creepy, got to be honest.

[More weirded out than afraid. Sorry, Murray.]

[evildoorstop]

Yes! Cower in fear! Scream!

...Can you scream?

[aceoffours]

Yeah, I can scream. Proper loud, when I want to. What about you? Can you? Can't blame me for asking, only you don't really appear to have working lungs on you.

[evildoorstop]

I could. If I wanted to, but I'd like to see anything dare try to make ME scream!

[aceoffours]

Aw, bless. It's alright if you can't you know. No shame in it. No shame at all.

[evildoorstop]

I could if something could actually surpass my talent for terror! But nothing can.

[aceoffours]

Aw, go on. Give us a scream.

1/3

[evildoorstop]

...

2/3

[evildoorstop]

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH [He gives off a cracked and not very sincere sounding scream - something between a scream and a yell.]

3/3

[evildoorstop]

But I'm not scared.

[aceoffours]

Really? I bloody am! That was loud! Not even a bit loud, I mean like, really loud.

[evildoorstop]

Really?

1/2

[aceoffours]

Yeah! Here, let me have a go. Okay, here goes. Wait for it, it's coming. Okay.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

2/2

[aceoffours]

How was that?

[evildoorstop]

BWAHAHAHA! Your terror is magnificent!

[aceoffours]

Wow! No one's ever told me that before. Thank you... I, er, I think.

[evildoorstop]

You're welcome. Most...welcome. [Trying for a bit of ominousness here.]

[getsciencedone]

Wonderful. You.

You don't need a voice test, you need someone to find the mute button on you.

[aceoffours]

What? Oh, alright. Fair enough. You want me to be quiet, do you? I can handle that. You know, if I'm bothering you and all. I can just, stop talking for a bit. Not a single word, nothing, nada. Not a single peep-

[Aaaand so on.]

[getsciencedone]

I have no idea why I thought that would work.

You don't even understand the point of this voice "test", do you.