s-sob what am i even doing

[preamble]

...User? Hello!

Now what?

Comments

[notglitching]

[...glare. Growl. Headshake.

Rinzler's commentary: the helpfullest.]

[preamble]

[Headtilt, quizzical little noise. Who're you, brogram? Oh Rinzler, always the grumpiest program ever.]

Identify?

[notglitching]

[Oh. Noises, now. Welp, you're already more talkative than the version he knows. Grumpy, murdery, same difference, right?

Have a headtilt, some slightly more speculative rumbling. And then return text.]

Rinzler.

Provide: designation, function.

[preamble]

[He doesn't like to talk much, but it's hard to communicate with his User using just pantomime. One involves less derezzing.]

[Oh! He can totally do that text thing, too. Watch this.]

Designation: Anon. Function: system monitor. ...Secondary. Primary system monitor is- was Tron.

[notglitching]

[Rinzler's of the opinion users aren't worth even the pantomime. Just growling. But the derezzing's the fun part!

...and confirmed. Noise shifts with irritation, rising to a snarl at that last name. The black mask jerks sideways, quick and angry. You have fun with that user-following, brogram.]

[lifes_short_pop]

Okay, another Program. Blue-white, meaning it's Encom-aligned. Maybe time to test his (admittedly, not that great) luck again. He's not going to find out the truth unless he asks.

"Hello?"

Eee, it's a Jet!

[preamble]

[Anon perks up visibly when Jet speaks. Oh! A User! Okay, okay, how to best do this. Remember your programming, Anon. Okay. Here goes...]

Hello, User!

[...Like a big, over-exuberant golden retriever. Smooth, Anon. Real smooth.]

Yup! Testing a Legacy-compliant AU for fanfic purposes. Not adverse to a game, though!

[lifes_short_pop]

Well, this is better than the reception he normally gets...

"You know what I am?" He smiles a little and rubs the back of his neck. "First time anyone's really believed me outright. Uh...please don't get down on your knees or anything. We're not that different from Programs in the big picture."

"My name's Jet. What's yours?"

Likewise! The game part, I mean. Still: eee, Jet! <3

[preamble]

[Open hostility and anger? Yeah, apparently a lot's changed since Anon got flattened by a Recognizer. -Oh, right, introductions. He visibly brightens at the question.]

Designation: Anon. Function is system monitor, User Jet.

[And he works so hard at it, too!]

Heh. Glad you approve. Bloody shame he's not canon anymore

[lifes_short_pop]

[[Ah, Recos. Mun is old enough to swear at their Intellivision incarnations...]]

Well, the systems he walked through were nowhere near Anon's Grid; Encom's lab servers, his dad's home PC, the open Internet, and F-Con's network. Didn't help that the nutcase Kernel mistook him for a viral agent, Thorne was pretty much Abarax with User powers, and F-Con was good and pissed off at his antics by the time he got there...

"Security, huh? I should be glad you're not trying to take my head off. I was uploaded here without a whole lot of instructions, so I guess I'm going to try and find out what happened. Failing that, I'd like to figure out how to be the kind of User a Program wouldn't be embarrassed to have."

8D!

[threat_detected]

And here I thought you finally realized you were fighting a losing battle.

[ Hello, there, Anon. Abraxas has missed you~ ]

:Db (also, pardon, kind of freaking over my mmo being shut down at the mo)

[preamble]

[You. Users damn it all, why are you up and functional? Anon instantly shifts into a battle stance.]

Jalen. Should know by now. I never give up.

[threat_detected]

[ He's a hard virus to kill. ]

Jalen is dead.

[ Reaching for his disk, the cracked edge lights up with an angry whine. ]

Just like the ISO's. Just like the System.

[preamble]

[Clearly, Anon just has to debug harder next time.]

Abraxas. Will not be allowed to cause further harm.

[That provokes a reaction from Anon. He grabs his own disc and it flares to life in his hand.]

[threat_detected]

[ Sadly, Abraxas agrees. If you did it right the FIRST time, he wouldn't have to SPREAD THE PAIN anymore and mun is bricked in the background for beating that dead horse again ]

Perfection is so messy, isn't it~?

[ Crackling, sickly, greenish-yellow energy skitters over the claws of his free hand, and snaps out toward the wayward System Monitor like scything needles. ]

[expect_me]

Hello!

[Seriously, mun-user-thing? This is the first time you let him on this thing and you're cackling about trolling. Stop it.

Still. Hello other Anon! Anon waves cheerfully.]

Aaw, it's another Anon! :D Twice the adorable!

[preamble]

[What the glitch? Anon waves back cautiously. Why are there two of him? ...Has the Creator been noodling around with code again?]

Hello? Designation: Anon?

they can be on a team of headtilt and badass

[expect_me]

[You have no idea brogram.]

Affirmative.

Current system affiliation: Game/Abax. Is your mun going to send you anywhere?

[Most of them are in the User world! Which is kind of awesome! Most of the time.]

aaw yeah awesome monitor teamup /fistbump

[preamble]

[This is frying his noggin something fierce.]

Acknowledged.

...Unknown. Hopefully. Everything seems so big here. Confusing. ...Freer.

[Are there tall buildings to jump around on? Because if so, he's sold.]

/brofist forever

[expect_me]

[This system is tame. Anon's has murder-monkeys and a kraken and a lightbulb dude and ridiculous anime people and arts and crafts with ridiculous anime people. For starters.]

Games are a lot better than where we were... but they can be just as chaotic, I'm afraid.

[Yes there are many tall buildings. Some of them very tall indeed.]

DYNAMIC ENTRY!!! [yes good more Evo!Cast love, you are awesome and you should feel awesome]

[trollmaster_gibson]

[Oh hi there Anon. Have a green-lit arm slung around your shoulders from behind as if it belongs there.]

The rightful order has been restored.

Miss me, buddy?

Gibsooooooooon~

[preamble]

[vfdhkfdkhfksdh WHAT. Anon very nearly shoves the arm off of his shoulders before he hears that voice. Then he's too busy having a bluescreen of death moment to comprehend. Give him a nano.]

G... Gibson?

Re: Gibsooooooooon~

[trollmaster_gibson]

BZZZT! Wrong. I'm actually Zuse in disguise. Shh, don't blow my cover.

[Gibson steps around to face Anon, grinning...but less smirky and more genuinely delighted and relieved to see his friend.]

Just kidding. Who'd you think? Look at you, man, solid as ever. [Pats Anon's shoulder, grinning wider]

So your User can't commit to a proper home for you either, uh? [Eyeroll] Figures.

[...yeah that hand's not leaving Anon's shoulder anytime soon.]

Re: Gibsooooooooon~

[preamble]

[You can't see it, Gibson, but Anon's jaw has just dropped. The last he saw you was when he... when he had to put you down like a gridbug. It's still sinking in that you're real and not horribly infected.]

[So don't mind the experimental little poke to the ribs. He's just checking to see if you're really there and note some kind of delusion brought on by programming errors. -Nope. That's Gibson.]

User Mun is very nice. She will be a good User. [Smirk.] Very convincing disguise, Zuse. Even correct vocal subroutine. Must meet your editor.

[...Yes, that was a joke from Anon.]

[trollmaster_gibson]

[Gibson's so proud, Anon. So proud.]

You think? [Bows with a flourish] ...actually come to think of it I dunno how to feel about that idea. Often imitated but never duplicated, that's me.

Crash everything but it's good to see you again, buddy.

[Gibson's face goes serious for a minute and he holds up a finger...and no, Anon, he's not giving you a chance to get a word in edgewise. As if he ever did.]

AH ah ah, don't even start, I see that look. I don't regret what I did, not for a second...only thing I regret is you gettin' stuck with the cleanup. The important thing is you're still here, which means it was worth it.