dear_mun | On reaching the furthest point I've ever gotten too.

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On reaching the furthest point I've ever gotten too.

Well I'll be Andraste's uncle. You actually managed to go through with it. I'm impressed, It only took you what? A year? I'd get more done in a day if you just happened to let me have the controller.

[He shakes his head.]

And honestly, stop blubbering over Bethany's letter. It said she was happy. I miss her, but don't you think we tried what we could to get her out of there? It was a bitter pill to swallow but as long as she's happy I'm not starting a full-scale rescue mission on the circle. Period.

[OOC: Don't worry about Spoilers. I've read the wiki I'm just doing my actual playthrough now. |D;;]

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[A nod, and--ah. Finally. There's that barkeep. He'll just get off the topic and order them a pair of pints. Hawke does get an affronted look, though.]

You wound me, Messere. Who do you think funded most of Kirkwall's rebuilding in the last years? I didn't see the Templars doing it!

I wound you because I care Varric. I can't have my forbidden love thinking I don't care.

[He bats back chuckling.]

How have you fared friend?

Maker forbid that ever happened. Merrill would be beside herself. To say nothing of Fenris and all his prickly brooding.

[smiiiirrrkkk. Ah, there's the pints. He'll just take a sip, thanks. Good old Kirkwall ale that never fails to taste like piss and ragwater.]

Quite well, actually. I rather enjoy not getting out into the fresh air, believe it or not. [a pause, then:] Though I suppose I can admit I miss the excitement running with you would create. It's too quiet up here sometimes.

Well we could go see what trouble is brewing. But I don't have enough alcohol in me to care enough yet. Maybe if I have one of the rat-tonics they have here.

[He looks over at the barkeep.]

Or 'whiskey' as they call it.

[That gets a laugh out of Varric--right until he sees Hawke trying to flag down the barkeep and...whiskey? Oh, old friend, let him stop you!]

Ah--I wouldn't try that if I were you. You wouldn't want to find your stomach on the floor, would you? They don't call it rat-tonic for no reason.

Well, Isabela isn't here. Which means I can safely drink it without something of mine going missing!

[He teases before waving the barkeep away. No, he didn't fancy rat-flavored whiskey.]

I'll just settle for the rag-ale.

[Ha! Isabela's not the only cut-throat around, Hawke. Not that Varric's saying that, nope.]

Your innards will thank you, Messere. I doubt they'd appreciate a diet of rat-piss. [yes, he's kidding. No, it doesn't look like it. Poker face is go.]

Although, if you're looking for something more palatable than this, I think Fenris may still have a few well-aged bottles of wine in his cellar somewhere. Provided he hasn't broken them all in a fit of broody pique, anyway.

Well, to be honest I tried one of the bottles, too musky for my taste. I prefer watered down rat piss and barman sweat with a hint of ale than those Tevinter wines. I bought one for mother once, she enjoyed it.

[He chuckled.]

I stole the dregs to make a sauce. It... worked. Not like the recipe was supposed too but it was nice.

That doesn't surprise me; your mother always had very good tastes.

[Unlike her kids. But, eh, she liked him. And any woman who likes Varric has the best tastes.]

I'm sure it was better than nice, Messere. If there's one thing you're good at it when it comes to domestic affairs, it's cooking. You're certainly better at it than Isabela.

Isabela's cooking is fabulous! As long as you mean to poison everyone and send them running to the privy.

[He snickers.]

Or you need something to throw in place of a rock or a knife.

[snicker snicker.] As much as I prefer Bianca, it really is a shame we can't sneak some of her cooking into the Templar Barracks. Perhaps a little constipation remedy would sooth their tempers.

[Or just send a dwarf and pirate pair running for the hills. Equally amusing.]

[He laughs heartily at that.]

Well, you fire those flasks from Bianca, maybe there's way to convince her to throw some of Isabela's cooking.

[Oh, all they needed now for Isabela to turn up and be offended then it would be a party.]

[headshake.]

Unfortunately, Hawke, Bianca just breaks those flasks. I'm the one throwing them. And I'm not sure if I'd want to be that close to Rivaini's cooking by choice, either.

[shudder shudder. He wants to be near that stuff as much as he wants to solo a High Dragon. Again.]

Why it can't eat you until it's inside of you.

[Hawke, why do you say these things.]

Actually, that's really disgusting. Forget I mentioned it. Or better yet, tell it to Merril and sketch her face for me.

[...Hawke, you are going to turn him off his ale. He thought nothing could do that anymore. Please don't prove him wrong.]

I'd hate to put poor Daisy through that, but...I'll see what I can do. Maybe get Blondie in on it, too.

Anders would like that.

[His expression softens.]

How is it I managed to band us together again? I would quite like to hear the story. I suspect carefully applied liqueur and blackmail.

Yes. I suppose he would.

[Oh, Hawke...what in the world will he do with you? Tell you a happy story, of course.]

No, no. Nothing so menacing. They were all drawn in by your kind nature and charm. ...Though Fenris did need the carefully applied liqueur, if I can recall correctly. Even your charms couldn't make a dent in all that brooding.

Really Varric? I've forgotten just how charming I can be then.

[He chuckles.]

Though Fenris came around. In a I'll-stop-by-to-see-you-once-a-year sort of way.

I'll never understand how you forgot that, Hawke. You apply those charms every day, and quite liberally, I might add. Kirkwall oozes with charm brought about by Messere Hawke. [smiiiirrkk.] And various other things, like Fenris' brooding and Anders' cats. Sometimes I swear he breeds the blighted things.

Ah, Varric. Maybe I'm just charming you into believing I am unaware of my charms. Maybe I am secretly a charming mastermind.

[He laughs and takes a long drain of ale.]

Or maybe I'm just insane and you all find it endearing.

Hawke, please. The nobles are insane. The mages and templars are a bit...addled. But you? You're one of the sanest men I know.

[he drains his ale in one large swallow, gesturing to the barkeep for another.]

And that's saying something. I know a lot of men...and women, of course.

Why must you remind me that me constantly that we will never be together? Are you that cruel!?

[He laughs raising his second glass as it arrives.]

To friends. And Sanity while it remains with us.

[chuckle.] Perhaps. But you should know to never say never by now, old friend.

[still, he'll toast, clinking his glass against Hawke's.]

To old friends, and the sanity they cost us. May it enjoy a better life with someone else.

[and down the hatch goes the ale. Ah, rat-water.]

[He laughs. Mmmm rat water indeed.]

We should have bought this place with the money from the expedition. Stocked actual ale. Real food, and better yet spirits.

[He paused.]

The drink kind not the scary kind.

[Varric smirks at that, shifting in his seat to hide his expression from Hawke. Time for the real teasing.]

And what makes you think I didn't buy it out the first chance I got? It was a very lucrative business venture.

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