3Step ~drama~

[quickly]

[Scout snickers as he rests his hands behind his head and leans against a wall.]

So BLU Scout's dad's th'RED Spy, huh? That's a real twister, ain't it? I mean, y'only told me this now, but I don't actually know it back at Paradise yet. You'd better let me make that loser's life real miserable when I do find out though, as payback, yanno? Heh. I mean he's already got it tough knowin' his dad's a stinky creeper but shit, that don't mean I need t'go easy on 'em.

[His expression turns flat for a moment before he speaks again.]

Don't go thinkin' that I need to find out who my dad is now. I don't care who he is. He left Ma 'n forced her to take care'a all of us, and for that I ain't ever forgivin' him. So I don't wanna or need ta know who he is.

[He's not jealous, not even the slightest bit.]

Hey.

Can ya find me some tacos somewhere? I haven't had one in forever. It'd mean a lot t'me, awright?

Comments

[hasstandards]

I'm fairly certain he doesn't need his life made any worse.

[Says the guy who dropped the bomb on him. Oops.]

[quickly]

But I ain't gonna go easy on him. I ain't that type'a guy!

[hasstandards]

So I've heard.

[Multiple times.]

And just what are you going to do?

[quickly]

Dunno yet.

Probably just point and laugh for a while 'til I think'a somethin' better.

[hasstandards]

Got nothin' better to do with your free time?

[quickly]

I got plenty to do!

Why're bein' so protective'a that loser anyway?

[hasstandards]

I'm not.

[And he's certainly not feeling a bit guilty for shattering that kid's world, either.]

I just think you could be doin' something else, like finding a job so you don't bum food off me anymore.

[quickly]

I don't need a job! I mean, not now anyway. I have a goal I'm workin' on achievin' -- bein' the world's greatest baseball player.

It's bad enough I can't fight BLUs in Paradise and get money that way.

[hasstandards]

Right. And you're gonna get money by playing baseball how?

[Because the idea of a professional baseball team is laughable to him.]

[quickly]

By bein' freakin' awesome! And gettin' lotsa fans so they buy the baseball card with my sweet face on it. I'll get money from every card they buy.

It's genius.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Shut.

The fuck.

Up.

[hasstandards]

Well ya won't see me wasting my money on such nonsense.

[quickly]

That's cause yer too old t'care 'bout baseball.

People yer age just care about golf.

[quickly]

Hahaha.

Make me.

[not_onyourside]

Zhat ees razzer cruel. I zhink zhe poor boy has had eet rough enough.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Look. That ain't none of yer buisness pally so keep your nose out of my life.

[hasstandards]

I'm not old.

[quickly]

Uh-huh, sure.

What are ya, 50?

[quickly]

[Shrugs.]

Awright, I'll go easy on ya for now. I got better things t'do anyway.

[quickly]

'Course yer gonna say that, daddy.

[He doesn't realize that -this- RED Spy is not that BLU Scout's father, so he thinks his comment is very clever and hilarious.]

[hasstandards]

I'm 39. I'm not old.

[quickly]

That's pretty old, dude.

[hasstandards]

To a bloody kid, maybe. What are you, twelve? Thirteen?

[not_onyourside]

[Eyeroll.]

Not zhat I expect someone of your minor intelligence to notice, but I am not his fazzer. Zhat would be zhe Spy who ees seen most often stabbing zhe boy een zhe back.

[quickly]

I'm twenty!

[quickly]

Oh, so the Spy who actually does his job, then? 'Cause if he's stabbin' people in the back that means you ain't doin' crap.

[hasstandards]

[Total disbelief.]

You are not.

[not_onyourside]

Because I am stealing zhe intelligence and destroying sentries so zhat you do not jump eento zhem face first.

I see my hard work ees ever so appreciated.

[quickly]

Uh, yeah. Why would I lie 'bout that?

I mean if I was twelve or whatever why would I have gotten hired?

[quickly]

I don't jump into sentries, man. I drink Bonk 'n distract 'em so someone else can blow 'em up.

But yeah, I guess sometimes you get the intelligence. Sometimes. Not enough t'be 'appreciated' though.

[hasstandards]

If you were twenty, you'd be shaving by now.

[quickly]

I do! I just ain't a weirdo who lets other dudes see me doin' it.

[not_onyourside]

Your kind words will be remembered.

[Sigh. Eyeroll.]

[quickly]

Cool, glad t'hear it!

[not_onyourside]

We should have zhese talks less often. I do not zhink hearing such high praise all zhe time ees good for me. I may develop an over-inflated ego.

[quickly]

But bein' told how awesome you are owns! I love when the ladies tell me how sweet I am.

[not_onyourside]

[Oh he's laughing at you now Scout.]

Has a lady ever told you zhat? Ever?

[quickly]

Uh, yeah! Totally!

Just last night I was told that, actually.

[not_onyourside]

Someone ozzer zhan your mozzer?

[Because Spy's been told he's Awesome quite a few times actually. Once or twice by your mother.]

[quickly]

Hahaha. Real funny, chucklenuts.

[NUH UH, only by the BLU Scout's mom. RED Scout's mom doesn't fool around with Spies. At least Scout believes that.]

[not_onyourside]

My deepest apologies.

[Grinnnn~~]

[quickly]

For what? Cause that was a lame excuse for an insult.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Good. I'd hate to have ta bust your face in when we just met.

[quickly]

That wouldn't happen 'cause yer aim's worse than an 80 year old blind dude but whatever! I'm not gonna fightcha right now, go and take this break t'hug yer dad or somethin'. [Grins]

[not_onyourside]

I am not sure you would notice eef you were being insulted anyway.

[bring_the_beatdown]

Hey! YOU SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THAT.

[SWING BATTER SWING. Right at that pretty face of yours other Scout.]

that icon :(

[quickly]

[BONK! Right to the face.

RED didn't expect that, but then again he kind of asked for it, so ...

He's going to clutch his face in his hands and wander off, now.]

I knowwww

[bring_the_beatdown]

[Good. BLU is just gonna go somewhere else and not think about the horrible jerk that is his dad.]

[hasstandards]

You do not. Your face is smoother than a baby's bottom.