Homeless; voicetesting

[morescaredofyou]

Dear Mun

I would like to object. I have no idea what you're gonna do with me, but whatever it is, I object! And I completely refuse to have anything to do with it. Unless you plan to take me to Disneyland. If that's the case, then lead the way!

But anything other than Disneyland is off limits.

Except maybe getting some pretzels. Disneyland is allowed, pretzels are allowed, but everything else is out, okay? Okay.

Regretfully yours,

Spider-man

Comments

[deshabille]

I think it all depends what kind of pretzel you're talking about.

[morescaredofyou]

What kind? Any kind! All pretzels are awesome. Non-awesome pretzels are against the law.

[deshabille]

Yes, but are you talking about the soft ones or the hard ones?

[morescaredofyou]

As a dashing and incredibly famous superhero, I can't be seen having favourites. I have to give all pretzels equal preference.

But hard pretzels are obviously better.

[deshabille]

You're entirely wrong. Can't be a very good superhero, can you, if you're wrong about pretzels?

[morescaredofyou]

Hey! I'll have you know that I'm totally A-league. Okay, so maybe I'm not Captain America or Iron Man...but I have taken down some serious supervillains, you know.

And hard pretzels are still better.

[deshabille]

They're not. They're too dry. Clearly you've just never had a good soft pretzel.

[morescaredofyou]

Oh, I see how it is. You don't like them dry, which means you clearly like them soggy.

Well, I'll be over here, with my awesome hard and totally not soggy pretzels. Which I will be making pretzel forts out of. Let's see you do that with your soft ones!

[sloppyseconds]

Disneyland? What are you, eight? Christ, Parker.

[tyrannicide]

Stop.

[morescaredofyou]

[He's sixteen, but that's beside the point. You have never too old for Disneyland.

Not that Peter is thinking of Disneyland anymore, because he's talking to Eddie Brock, and this is so not good!]

You! Why are you here? You got what you wanted!

[spider_boy]

I don't know, dude. I always thought that Disney World was better, y'know? Bigger and all that. Sure, there's the chance that you'd get a massive reptile in your toilet (isn't Florida known for that?) but that's nothing that dudes like us can't handle, right?

[morescaredofyou]

But if I stop, she'll never take me to Disneyland! And I so want to meet Tinkerbell.

[sloppyseconds]

[Says brats who run around in goofy spandex. It shouldn't be surprising he still thinks Disneyland is the end all of fun things you could do, ever]

Did I? Use your head, genius.

[morescaredofyou]

Hey, you can't go past the original. But okay, Disney World is allowed too.

But, Disney World aside...what are you wearing?! That has got to be the worst rip off of my suit I have ever seen.

[spider_boy]

Rip off of your suit? I don't think so, buddy. Spider-Boy rips off nobody!

Except, you know, sometimes genetically. But that's a different story.

[tyrannicide]

Talk is a dead end mechanism.

So is cutesy.

[morescaredofyou]

Well, seeing as I'm pretty sure I remember you trying to make me get the suit for you, yes, you did. Not that I understand why. It's dangerous, Eddie.

[morescaredofyou]

Uh huh. Hey, but maybe it can be a zombie end mechanism! No one beats zombies.

And, uh, you're not planning to kill anyone while you're here, are you?

[morescaredofyou]

Sure you don't. And it's just complete coincidence that you've got red with webbing exactly like mine. But less awesome.

Genetically?! How exactly...Who are you?!

[spider_boy]

Please. The leather jacket and thigh belt make it like a thousand times more awesome. No lies.

I told you. I'm Spider-Boy! The Amazing Arach-Kid!

And you're obviously not Spider-Boy 2099 so... Who are you? Scarlet Spider-Boy?

[morescaredofyou]

Do you realise what you just said? "Thigh belt." Thigh belt. There is no way you can ever make that cool.

Spider-boy?! You call yourself Spider-boy?! And how do you not know who I am? Do you not read the papers? I'm Spider-man. And you, are still ripping me off here.

[tyrannicide]

That's an 'off-limits' hypothetical.

[morescaredofyou]

If you are, I won't let you.

[spider_boy]

Whatever. You're just jealous you can't rock one the way I do. I get it. You need to have a certain kind of sex appeal and attitude to pull one off.

Which, you know, your footie pajamas there kinda lack.

Also? I've never heard of a Spider-Man, so clearly, I'm not the Spider-Wannabe.